


Star Wars: A New Order

by kildeer



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Action & Romance, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bendemption, Episode IX, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Smut, Forbidden Love, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghost Luke Skywalker, Force Ghost Yoda (Star Wars), Force Visions, Gen, Gray Jedi, Jakku, Jedi Rey, Jelucan, POV Armitage Hux, POV Finn (Star Wars), POV Kylo Ren, POV Leia Organa, POV Rey (Star Wars), Peace, Political Alliances, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Prophecy, Redeemed Ben Solo, Resistance, Reylo - Freeform, Romance, Secret Relationship, Smut, Space Opera, Star Wars - Freeform, The First Order, The Force Ships It, Utapau (Star Wars), War, epIX, reverse Anidala, the thirst order
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2019-09-12 15:22:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16875315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kildeer/pseuds/kildeer
Summary: The last of the Resistance is fighting to stay one step ahead of the First Order while Rey seeks to understand her calling and the powerful bond that connects her to Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. Power plays within the First Order drive the war to a final confrontation where destinies collide and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance.





	1. Chapter 1

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

 

STAR WARS: A NEW ORDER

 

The galaxy has reached a crossroads.  
Catastrophe follows catastrophe  
and entire planets are descended into chaos.  
All hope for peace seems to have vanished  
with the loss of the Hosnian system,  
and those who might have turned to the RESISTANCE  
hear only that it has been rent to shreds.  
Under the command of Supreme Leader KYLO REN  
the FIRST ORDER has finally gained absolute power  
and works to eradicate all traces of doubt and disloyalty  
by any means necessary.

Abandoned by their allies and desperate to survive,  
GENERAL LEIA ORGANA and the very last of the RESISTANCE,  
along with the powerful Jedi REY,  
have fled to the outer reaches of the galaxy  
and now seek a path forward.

 

~

 

_Utapau, now_

 

The Resistance’s hiding spot wasn’t ideal. _But then again,_ Rey supposed, _what hiding spot would be?_ They had suffered too much in too short a time. Too much death, too much defeat, too many hours spent certain that they were about to die only to...survive. Rey was still processing it herself. She felt the loss of Luke more deeply than she had anticipated. As imperfect as he had been, he was the only teacher she had ever known and in the end, against all odds, he had been the hero she always hoped he would be. 

The dry barren land and deserted broken cities of Utapau did nothing to alleviate the specter of death hanging over them. Everything they had seen of the planet so far felt like a burial ground. The last of the Resistance was currently headquartered in what once must have been a grand chamber of governance or learning. Chipped and faded murals could still be found on rare patches of unbroken wall, and the vast inner space of the building was supported by a series of well-made columns which glowed bone pale in the golden desert light. 

Using what meager technology they had along with the _Falcon’s_ limited resources, Rose and the other technicians had managed to send out encoded messages which they hoped would reach embedded spies and allies on distant worlds, but the chances of contact had never looked less likely. After thoroughly exploring the abandoned structure and salvaging what supplies and materials they could (there wasn’t much), the others had found antechambers in which to rest and treat the wounded. Rey, however, found that she was reluctant to venture too far from the _Falcon_ , which had been parked beneath a rocky overhang at the base of the cliff that rose up behind their new base. They had been on the planet for less than a day when Finn came to inform her that General Organa had requested a debriefing with her and Chewie. Rey was on her knees in the dirt beneath the _Falcon_ , working with the Wookie to repair the rear cannon which had been all but torn off in the caverns of Crait.

“A debriefing?” she asked as she clambered out from beneath the ship, unfamiliar with the militaristic-sounding word. Finn nodded.

“To go over what happened while you were gone, so that everyone understands the current situation.”

She smiled a little at his lingering trooper-speak.

“You should also probably have someone look at that,” he added, indicating the jagged cuts near her right shoulder which she had absentmindedly dabbed with a bacta wipe the day before. “I think there’s some bonding paste left if you want it closed up without a scar.”

“I don’t-” she began, then, “I mean, it’s not serious. We should save the bonding paste for people who need it more.”

She could feel him watching her as she cleaned her grimy hands with more attention than was strictly necessary. They hadn’t had a chance to talk properly since reuniting on Crait, and Rey had no idea how to begin the conversation. Even though they had not been apart for very long, it felt as though a lifetime had passed. Neither of them seemed to be quite the same person that they were before. Rey looked up at him and managed a smile.

“I don’t suppose Leia cares if my hands are dirty.”

He returned the smile as she tucked the rag into the back pocket of the canvas tech suit she’d found in one of the _Falcon_ ’s innumerable storage nooks, and the three of them headed for the base. 

In spite of the plain utilitarian clothes she wore Leia Organa still radiated authority, and those around her responded accordingly, as though she were a crowned monarch in silk robes. She, Poe Dameron, and the last two ranking officers to survive the battle of Crait were sitting on blocks of broken stone in a bare room, lit by the glassless windows which had been carved out of the stone walls. Leia stood up when Rey, Finn, and Chewie entered the room and the other three followed suit, nodding respectfully as Leia clasped Rey’s hands, then Chewie’s. In spite of the chaos and tragedy of the last few days her expression was earnest, her dark eyes clear and focused.

“Thank you for coming to meet with us, Rey,” she said, taking her seat once more and indicating that Rey should sit as well. Rey hesitated, glancing at Chewie, but he waved her off with a grunt and leaned against the wall, folding his arms. Finn remained next to the entrance behind her; Rey suspected that he’d been instructed to make sure their conversation remain private and uninterrupted.

“We’ve called you here,” Leia began, “because the First Order has sent out a wide-range alert which we just picked up a short while ago.” She paused, glancing briefly down at her hands, which were folded demurely in her lap. When she looked up again her expression was carefully neutral.

“The First Order has accused you of murdering Supreme Leader Snoke.”

Rey took a deep breath, quickly trying to gather her thoughts.

“I didn’t kill him,” she said, matching Leia’s discreet tone. Poe Dameron’s eyebrows lifted in mild surprise.

“It’s true then,” he said, “Snoke’s really dead.”

Rey nodded.

“How do you know this?” One of the officers, a thin birdlike woman Leia’s age, asked, her eyes wide.

“I saw it,” Rey said, trying not to fidget or look nervous, “I was in his throne room when it happened.”

“How did he die?” The other officer, a dark bearded man, asked.

Rey hesitated, looking from him to General Organa.

“Kylo Ren cut him in half with my-with Master Skywalker’s lightsaber.”

Although Leia’s outward expression did not change dramatically, she drew in a ragged breath and Rey could see her hands gripping each other more tightly. The others were clearly shocked; Chewie let out a confused exclamation and behind her Rey could hear Finn shift out of his rigid stance.

“He killed him,” Leia whispered, seemingly to herself.

“You’re certain that’s what you saw?” the male officer asked, and Rey nodded. Poe shook his head, frowning, and held up a hand.

“Wait, why were you on the _Supremacy_ in the first place? Were you captured trying to return to the fleet?”

Even though Rey had told herself that this conversation was bound to happen and that the question was inevitable, she still wasn’t fully prepared for it. How much of the truth did she dare tell? How far would Chewie back her up? 

“I wasn’t captured,” she said carefully, “I went to the _Supremacy_ to persuade Kylo Ren to turn from the Dark side.”

There was another pregnant silence during which Rey couldn’t bring herself to look at any of them directly. She went on, feeling as though she were tip-toeing a path through a colony of snake dens.

“When I arrived I was cuffed and Kylo brought me to Snoke. Snoke used me to find Master Skywalker, and then he...he ordered Kylo Ren to kill me,” she paused and cleared her throat, “but then, like I said…”

 _That was only two days ago_ , she thought, the knowledge disorienting, as though she had been plunged into the icy waters of Ahch-To all over again. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Poe Dameron’s handsome dark brow furrowed in thought. She couldn’t imagine what Finn must be thinking.

“Forgive me,” the female officer said, sitting forward slightly, “I believe that we all simply wish to understand the exact events as fully as possible. You say that Kylo Ren was ordered to kill you, but instead he killed Snoke. What happened after that?”

As clearly as she could, Rey explained how Kylo had used the Force to turn Skywalker’s blade, then returned the weapon to her so that they could face the Praetorian guards. The story was reaching its most painful moment, and Rey didn’t know whether she would be able to tell the whole truth. More than anything she wanted to lie, to invent a simpler story with a cleaner picture of right and wrong, but she knew she couldn’t do that with Leia sitting right in front of her.

“Once the guards were dead,” she said slowly, “I asked Kylo to help me save the Resistance, and he refused. Instead, he...he asked me to join him. I realized then that he wasn’t going to turn, so I refused his offer. We ended up fighting for Master Skywalker’s lightsaber until it was split in two by the Force. The explosion knocked us both out but I recovered first and took the opportunity to escape.”

More unbearable silence. Rey resisted the urge to glance over at Chewie. She had told him more than she had told anyone else; why they were leaving Ahch-To and why Luke wasn’t coming with them, why she and Luke had come to blows in the rain, but this was the first that he was hearing about what had actually happened after he left her at the _Supremacy_.

To her great surprise Rey felt a flicker in the Force, different from any she had felt before. It was clear and strong and seemed to carry its own light somehow, like water. She glanced up to find Leia watching her, and Rey suddenly comprehended the other woman’s thought as clearly as if it had been spoken aloud.

_What made you think you could save him?_

Before Rey could attempt to respond in kind Poe spoke up, his arms folded across his chest, his tousled black forelock falling over one eye.

“You said he was still unconscious when you woke up. Did you consider killing him before you escaped?”

Rey met his gaze.

“No,” she lied, “To be honest, in all of the confusion I didn’t even think to check whether he was still alive. I just knew that I needed to get away.”

“That is an understandable reaction,” the male officer said, and Rey appreciated the fact that he sounded genuinely sympathetic rather than patronizing.

“Thank you, Rey,” Leia said, placing her hands on her knees and looking around at all of them, fully in command once more, “I think we could all use some time to digest this in light of the First Order’s accusation, so this is where we’ll leave the discussion for now. Agreed?”

The other two officers nodded at once, and a moment later Poe did as well. Chewie stayed behind to talk with Leia while Finn accompanied Rey back to the _Falcon_. Once they had exited the ruined building Finn glanced over his shoulder to make sure they were alone, and Rey could sense him trying to strike a more lighthearted tone.

“It’s crazy; I think you and I must have been on the _Supremacy_ at the same time,” he shook his head, “I can’t believe you faced Snoke and escaped. I never even saw him in person when I was a Stormtrooper, and fighting the Praetorian guards? No wonder Kylo Ren wanted you on his side,” his expression hardened, “leeching all of your power for himself.” 

Rey felt herself flinch inwardly at the palpable hatred in Finn’s voice, and immediately castigated herself for it.

_What made you think you could save him?_

 

~

 

_Jakku, eighteen years ago_

 

It wasn’t the most inspiring location for a Jedi temple, but Luke knew better than most how people made do with what they had, especially in the outer rim of the galaxy. He and Ben had followed ancient glyphs drawn on the walls of the canyon with some kind of clay-based stain the color of dried blood. Leaving R2-D2 to stand watch, they had worked their way through a narrow fissure in the sheer rock face and had found themselves in a small grotto illuminated by a single opening high above them. The diffuse light made the walls of the grotto glow in shades of gold and rose with more glyphs, including what Luke recognized at once as the artist’s altarpiece; a large circular design painstakingly rendered in the same reddish brown stain. Ben listened, fascinated, as Luke interpreted the design, pointing out elements that they had seen in other temples and quizzing the boy on their significance. In the center of the grotto was a large flat stone clearly meant to be a seat of meditation, its surface pleasingly curved and worn smooth, and Luke instructed his nephew to sit.

As it always did, the Force responded to Ben at once, almost from the moment he closed his eyes, and Luke watched with deep pride as the boy settled into his meditation. He had just turned twelve and was beginning to show signs of the self-aware awkwardness which heralded adolescence. In spite of their outdoor adventuring on all manner of planets Ben remained pale and small for his age, although it was clear to Luke that he was destined to have an impressive frame once he grew into it. For now, however, he was still a knobble-kneed padawan with large round ears under thick black hair, his father’s long nose and his mother’s dark eyes. Luke loved him dearly. 

“What do you see, Ben?” he asked.

The boy was quiet for a moment, and when he spoke his words came slowly, as though they were communicating underwater.

“The same thing I always see,” he murmured, “Her.”

Luke smiled, intrigued by the Force’s persistence. 

“Your mystery woman. What’s she doing this time?”

Ben’s brow furrowed a little in concentration, his long eyelashes like black fans in the amber light.

“She’s sad,” he said, “Something’s broken...and she doesn’t know how to fix it.”

 

~

 

_The Millennium Falcon, now_

 

Rey stood back from her makeshift work table as defeat bore down on her. It was a feeling as intimately familiar as any she’d ever known; the moment when her guide rope slipped through her fingers and was lost. On Jakku it tended to happen just after she’d woken up, that grey cold silence between sleep and movement, when her life came crashing down on her in all of its vivid hopelessness and she felt as though she was suffocating inside the wreckage of her scavenged home. From her hammock she could see the tally of her days scratched into the rusted metal siding like a growing silent audience, each one bearing witness, whispering all of her worst fears, and Rey had longed to go back to sleep and never wake up. Hunger would ultimately drive her to her feet and gradually, as she prepped her speeder and watched the sun rise, life would flow back into her, looking enough like hope that she could go on for another day. 

Looking down at the disassembled halves of the broken lightsaber Rey couldn’t escape the growing fear that she’d overestimated her own mechanical abilities, that she’d miscalculated everything. The inner workings of the weapon were foreign and more complex than she had anticipated, the pale blue crystal cracked cleanly in two. What kind of Jedi could she ever hope to be if she failed to complete this most fundamental rite? However, as difficult as the problem was it was preferable to the larger question, the one that pulsed in her mind like an echo of her heartbeat.

_Ben...Ben...Ben..._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux and Kylo begin their power play and the Force bond strikes again.

_The Hosnian Remnants, now_

 

Kylo had yet to name his new flagship and was considering using its model designation purely to spite Hux, who had no doubt lain awake nights thinking of names like _Sudden Death_ and _Slaughter_. It was obvious that his general had been existing in a state of suspended rage since Crait, a deep consuming cancer made all the more potent by the fact that it was accompanied by Kylo Ren’s elevation to Supreme Leader. The throne he was currently sitting on had been retrieved from Snoke’s decimated ship and while Kylo hated it, he recognized the necessity of asserting his power and position where Hux was concerned. The door of the elevator opened and Hux stepped out, his stiff black uniform immaculate and his posture surgical as he crossed the room to the throne, inclining his head respectfully once he’d come to a stop.

“Greetings, Supreme Leader. I am at your service.”

“Thank you, General,” Kylo said, matching the emptiness of Hux’s pleasantry, “I’ve summoned you here to discuss the Stormtrooper program.”

He paused, watching Hux carefully. The other man didn’t visibly flinch but Kylo felt it all the same. He went on.

“In light of FN-2187’s defection I’ve decided that the program needs a full review. All recruitment, training, and scheduled deployments will be suspended until further notice.”

Hux opened his mouth to speak, but Kylo pretended not to notice.

“Obviously I will need unlimited access to your records; personnel files, provenances, training materials, and disciplinary logs. After this meeting you will have two hours to prepare and transfer them to my personal dataport.”

The general, already pale, had gone white with rage and from where he sat Kylo could see the tiniest tremor in his stance.

“Supreme Leader,” he said, each word sounding as though it caused him physical pain, “Do you have an estimation of how long this review will last?”

“As long as it needs to.”

Hux nodded, clenching his teeth.

“With all due respect, sir, an extended suspension of the program has the potential to compromise our military control of the galaxy, perhaps permanently.”

“More than a rogue Stormtrooper supplying the Resistance with everything he knows about the inner workings of the First Order?” Kylo countered, allowing a small measure of the loathing he felt for the other man to be heard in his voice, “It’s only a matter of time before his defection becomes common knowledge among the other troopers. How might our military control be compromised then, General?”

The last word was infused with threat and Kylo calmly stood up, his lightsaber visible where it hung at his side. Hux was unable to suppress his flinch this time and lowered his head in deference even as the vein in his forehead bulged.

“I beg your forgiveness, Supreme Leader. What duties would you have the cadets and troopers perform in lieu of their regular tasks?”

Kylo considered this. Behind him the observation deck offered a panoramic view of the debris field which had once been his home.

“Do any of them know how to read?” he asked.

Hux blinked, clearly caught off-guard by the question.

“A select number of advanced cadets are taught to read and write Basic before they’re promoted to leadership positions.”

Kylo nodded.

“I want them all to learn. That should keep them busy.”

Hux’s mouth hung open comically for a fraction of a second and Kylo bit back a smirk.

“That will be all, General.”

“Supreme Leader, I-”

“ _That will be all,_ General.”

The other man colored in humiliated frustration before making a stiff little bow and turning away without another word. Once the closing elevator door had removed him from sight Kylo stepped down from the dais and walked up to the thick smooth glass which separated him from the cold darkness beyond. A large broken piece of planetary crust was turning slowly in the Super Star Destroyer’s low-level gravity field, and Kylo found himself remembering the cliffs on the outskirts of Hanna City where he would stand and watch ships come in across the water, waiting for his father to come home. 

A familiar aching grief rose inside of him and he swallowed it down, clenching his fists in anger at himself, at Han Solo, the light, and his own heart. Especially his heart. In spite of this anger, however, his thoughts turned with a kind of dread inevitability to his mother. It wasn’t until after the Battle of Crait that he’d learned she’d survived the destruction of the Resistance fleet, and for a moment he allowed himself to reach out in the Force, closing his eyes as he sought her signature. All he could find was an echo of her in the debris of Chandrila. 

_Your parents threw you away like garbage...but you can’t stop needing them, looking for them everywhere._

He could still see Rey’s tears catching the moonlight on Ahch-To as he spoke those words to her. Had she realized what he was confessing? The thought made his stomach turn with distaste and embarrassment now. 

Sentimental.

Compassionate.

Weak.

Still probing the Force, Kylo was surprised to feel it suddenly fluctuate back towards him and he turned to see Rey standing in his throne room, lit from above by an unseen light which was just bright enough to illuminate the cluttered work table in front of her. The moment when she lifted her head to look back at him was still unnerving, like a moon he’d seen every day of his life suddenly turning in the sky to look at him. The expression on her face was weary yet resigned and Kylo returned a cool neutral gaze. They stared across the room at each other.

“It’s been awhile,” Rey said.

“It has.”

“I was starting to wonder if the connection had broken for good.”

“I guess not.”

Silence. It wasn’t until she blinked and looked back down at her work that Kylo realized he’d been staring longer than was necessary. He wondered if she was on the _Falcon_ , in whatever distant corner of the galaxy the Resistance had retreated to. No matter how far, it would only be a matter of time before the Knights found them. Kylo inclined his head slightly in her direction and turned towards the elevator, proud of his discipline.

“I’ll leave you to it.”

He’d taken less than ten steps before she called to him.

“Actually, if you’re not busy I could use some help.”

Kylo came to a halt, surprised, and then incredulous as he turned back to her.

“Why should I help you?”

When she didn’t answer he went on, striding back to where she stood as his indignation mounted.

“I killed my Master for you, betrayed the First Order, saved your life and offered you _everything,_ only to have you throw it back in my face and now you’re asking for my help?”

Unlike Hux, Rey didn’t balk at all, standing her ground as he came closer, a flinty challenge in her eyes.

“Only if you’re not busy,” she said evenly, “and I’ll remind you that you’re still alive right now because _I_ allowed it.”

Her insolence was unapologetic and unparalleled, with no regard whatsoever for his position and authority or her commensurate lack of both- 

Which was the reason he had wanted her at his side.

One of the reasons.

Kylo clenched his teeth.

_Leave. Walk away now._

Unexpectedly, Rey was the first to look away, the faint darkness beneath her eyes more pronounced as she lowered her head. It occurred to Kylo that what he was sensing wasn’t just weariness; it was deeper than that. Rey’s darkness was lapping at her like an advancing icy tide, and once again she had chosen to turn to him. Ignoring the sensation that he had become a collapsing sand castle, Kylo told himself that the amount of pride he would surrender in helping her was equal to the pride she had lost in asking for help.

“What is it that you’re working on?” he asked.

Her hazel eyes darted back to him and for a moment it looked as though she doubted what she had heard, but she recovered quickly and half-turned towards the work table.

“Are you able to see it-?”

As she said the words he could suddenly, the details coming into focus as he approached the opposite side of the table. His grandfather’s broken lightsaber was almost unrecognizable, stripped down to its smallest component, and an ancient-looking volume lay open next to it. Kylo squinted down at the soft yellowed paper and his lips parted in amazement before he could stop himself.

“Is that-?”

“One of the original Jedi texts, apparently,” Rey sighed, bracing her hands against the tabletop.

“It’s the _Aionomica,_ ” Kylo murmured. The closest he’d ever come to the book was listening to a handful of passages as a child that Lor San Tekka had recited from memory. 

“Whatever it is it hasn’t been much help. I have no idea what language it’s in and the lightsaber drawings don’t make sense.”

Kylo leaned forward a little, studying what she’d done so far.

“Were you planning to use both halves of the crystal?”

She nodded.

“I want to have two blades and make it longer, more like my staff,” she carefully picked up the refraction chamber, looking worried, “but I think in order to do that I need to make another one of these...somehow.”

“You will,” he said, beginning to reach up before remembering that he couldn’t physically manipulate the object, “But it doesn’t need these filaments. All you really need is thin silver sheeting and a fine-flame torch.”

He could feel her watching him and tried to ignore it.

“Are you planning to weld the housing back together?”

“No,” she tucked her hair behind her ears and flipped to a back page of the book, where there was a painstakingly rendered schematic drawing, “I want to have two housings that can attach and detach from each other, maybe with magnets.”

She indicated the mechanism in the drawing with a char-blackened stick and Kylo realized that she’d drawn the illustration herself. _In the Aionomica._ His shock was so great that he didn’t realize she was waiting for him to respond until she delicately cleared her throat.

“Does that...make sense?”

He blinked and nodded.

“Two housings,” he repeated, “so that you could use it as one double-blade or two singles,” he looked up at her, curious, “Have you trained in dual wielding?”

For the first time she seemed to falter, almost as though she was embarrassed. The distance between them was short enough that he could see the pale freckles scattered across her nose and the smudges of charcoal on her fingers.

“I wasn’t planning on using them like that,” she said, “I want them to detach so that...so that you’ll have one. When you come back.”

There was a moment of silence in which Kylo absorbed what she’d said, then straightened up and took a step back from the table. _When you come back._ When, not if. The statement was blunt, presumptive, and Rey didn’t even have the decency to say it with arrogance. The way she said it made it sound inevitable, like a planet following its orbit, and completely disregarded the possibility that his ambitions for the First Order were valid. It was tempting to deflect her with sarcasm or ignore what she’d said altogether, but the Force connected them, and the Force was truth. He could no more avoid her than he could grow wings. He clenched his fists, anger licking along his spine.

“And if I don’t ‘come back’?”

She folded her arms across her chest, her gaze steady and calm.

“Then I’ll learn dual wielding.”

Even that was maddening. Past Jedi had spent lifetimes mastering their fighting styles, and Rey made it sound like a trifling technicality. _And for her it probably would be,_ muttered an unhelpful voice in the back of his mind. She was a born fighter, and the idea of what she could accomplish with proper Jedi training was staggering. 

“How’s that Resistance of yours going, by the way?” he asked cooly, “Busy regrouping fleets and resources for another offensive?”

He could tell that the jab had found its mark; Rey was not yet skilled in hiding her emotions and the flicker of hurt was visible in her eyes.

“It’s not my Resistance,” she said after a moment, “they’re just the people I’ve chosen to help.”

Again he was surprised in spite of himself. _Irreducible,_ he thought. That was the word for what Rey was. No matter how much he tried he couldn’t dismiss, diminish, simplify or categorize her, even in his own mind. 

“And considering the bounty on my head I don’t have much of a choice but to stay in hiding,” she added, raising an eyebrow pointedly, “Thanks for that, by the way.”

“You’re welcome,” he said without thinking, and for a moment she stared at him in obvious mystification. He purposely held her gaze just long enough to know that he'd made her uncomfortable, then looked away, indicating the lightsaber pieces with a nod of his head.

“Will you be able to get silver sheeting for the second refraction chamber?”

“I should be able to,” she said, nonplussed, “Why?”

He glanced up at her.

“I could send some to your coordinates if you’re having trouble.”

She narrowed her eyes, her expression at once guarded and uncertain. 

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” she said, “but nice try.”

 

~

 

The bastard was clever. As much as it pained Hux to admit, he was only fooling himself if he denied this fact. Kylo Ren had given him two hours, an amount of time which they both knew was insufficient for Hux to tamper with the information in any significant way. Even transferring a portion of the most sensitive material to a separate storage device before handing over the project to others would be impossible without leaving a fingerprint. Which was not to say that Hux was completely empty-handed in his current situation. 

If his lifelong tutelage in the ways of the Empire and the First Order had taught him anything, it was to always have a contingency plan. Even his loyalty to Snoke had never been absolute. Only a fool placed complete faith in another person. He had many cards left to play. For example, the data chip currently hidden in his quarters. Making a copy of the security footage from Snoke’s executive elevator had been remarkably easy. It had been one of the first things he’d done after the battle of Crait, and not a moment too soon. Less than an hour later the entire archive had been put under executive lockdown for ‘security purposes’ by the new Supreme Leader. 

Hux had been saving the data chip, spending idle moments turning it over in his long pale fingers, delaying the moment of gratification when he would slide it into his dataport and view its contents. This would be most satisfying, he reasoned, when his hatred of Kylo Ren had reached its zenith. After he’d started the process of consolidating the Stormtrooper program and assigned the rest of the task to his most competent underlings, Hux returned to his quarters in a fury so towering that it was almost transcendent, making him feel as though he was moving through space without physically touching the ground.

After sealing the door and verifying that no one had approached his rooms since he left, Hux took a seat at his personal dataport and inserted the chip into the dock. The interior of Snoke’s elevator appeared on his view screen, time-stamped just minutes before the true Supreme Leader was murdered. The scavenger girl was in the elevator with Kylo Ren. Her wrists were cuffed in front of her and he had taken possession of her lightsaber. As far as Hux could see they were alone. There was no audio accompanying the footage, but that hardly mattered. If there was one thing that had always been true of Armitage Hux, it was that people underestimated him. He had not risen to his current position purely through nepotism, luck, or even treachery. Simply put, he understood people, and had no morals to speak of. Deciphering and exploiting human hearts and minds was a cultivated skill, like anything else, and once you had mastered it the learning curve was shockingly lenient with each new subject. Kylo Ren was no exception. 

From the moment he had reported that the scavenger had murdered Snoke, Hux had smelled weakness in the story, but watching the footage from the elevator was a revelation. Before his eyes, without preamble or even the most rudimentary attempt at subterfuge, a new narrative suddenly opened to him. Hux found himself leaning forward in his chair, resting his chin on his hand, almost disbelieving what he saw because it was so absurd and so predictably, disappointingly _human._

The holoreceptor in the center of his work console suddenly lit up and a ghostly blue-white image of Kylo Ren flickered to life. 

“General Hux.”

Hux sat at attention, privately savoring the idea of a miniature Kylo Ren that he could crush with his bare hands.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

“I wanted to check that you’re on schedule to deliver the materials I requested.”

“I am, Supreme Leader. I’ve put my best people to the task and will be checking their progress shortly.”

“Very well, that will be all.”

The hologram vanished and Hux stared at the now dark holoreceptor for a moment, deep in thought, before turning back to the dataport view screen and replaying the security footage. There was even less chance of mistaking it the second time. The girl, who was so low as to be hardly more than an animal, walked boldly into Kylo Ren’s space, speaking to him without the slightest trace of fear in her expression. And _Ren,_ Ren was as calm and still as Hux had ever seen him, eyes fixed on the girl as their awareness of each other thrummed in the space between their bodies. Hux could have laughed out loud. For a moment he considered it. The whole situation was simply too delicious. 

The imbecilic children were in _love._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a bit of a tricky time finding the dynamic for Rey and Kylo's interaction, because of course I want my fluffy romance right away NOW, but I want to at least try to build it up in a somewhat plausible way. And writing Hux was a lot of fun :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance finally receives a transmission on Utapau, but will it be enough to save them? And who else might be listening?

_Utapau_

 

After almost two weeks the Resistance’s situation was becoming desperate. In spite of a rationing system which was strict even by military standards, the food supply was reaching a critical level and their furtive expeditions among the cliffs and dunes had yielded little more than the occasional lizard. No one spoke of it out loud, but every now and then as Finn looked around at his fellow rebels he could see the defeat in their eyes, thousand-mile stares which silently accepted the idea that the struggles and triumphs of their lives were going to end here.

With each new day of hunger and ringing silence on the comm frequencies, Finn quietly gauged his own resolve, testing it carefully as though it were a sinktrap in the sand. Each time he did this he tried to prepare himself for despair, for emptiness to suddenly flood through his marrow, and each time he was relieved to arrive at the same simple answer. He wasn’t ready to give up. If anyone had asked him to explain why, he didn’t think that he would have been able to put it into words. How did anyone find the strength to go on? Leia and Poe seemed to draw theirs from a sense of duty to those they led, while Rose thrived on the camaraderie of shared struggle, often drawing the whole sorry group together with something as simple as a smile or a kind word. Rey, on the other hand, was clearly more action-oriented. If there wasn’t a mission to complete or a battle to fight she still needed to be _doing_ something. She had spent almost every waking moment of their time on Utapau either tending to the _Falcon_ with Chewie or absorbed in the impossibly esoteric task of constructing her new lightsaber. 

For his own part, Finn supposed it came down to the fact that he had never spent much time imagining a future for himself. His whole life up until this point had been founded on the certainty that he would serve the First Order until he was either killed or physically unable to perform his tasks. Dying as a free man on Utapau before his thirtieth birthday would still be better than being a Stormtrooper. However, he couldn’t deny that he had wanted to do more. Even if he still didn’t have a clear idea of what _more_ was, he thought he would regret dying without having achieved it. 

He was ruminating on this one morning as he inventoried the medpacks for what felt like the hundredth time when he heard boots frantically skidding across the sandy stone corridor beyond the storeroom.

“Finn? _Finn!_ ”

It was Rose’s voice, recklessly loud in the carefully maintained silence of the hideout, and Finn’s stomach dropped, assuming that catastrophe was the only excuse for such indiscretion. She spun around when he stepped out into the corridor, her face lighting up as she grabbed his hand and began pulling him back the way she had come.

“What is it?” He asked, almost jogging to keep up with her, “What’s happened?”

“We received a transmission, one of our contacts in the Dathomir system, and we need you to listen to it.”

“Why me?”

“It’s about the Stormtroopers, come on!”

The Resistance comm units were grouped together in one of the ruined building’s largest rooms with the last functioning solar generator to power them. It was a particularly grim place where Rose and a handful of cryptographers and radar techs in headsets hunched over the monitors, intently scanning frequency data, but today the sheer energy in the room was irrepressible. Everyone was gathered around one of the comm units talking excitedly, and Poe, who had evidently been called in as well, clapped a hand on Finn’s shoulder in greeting before steering him over to the monitor.

“Okay, play it back again,” Poe said to the anxious-looking young man operating the unit. The comm speakers crackled to life, the transmission so patchy and degraded that an immediate hush fell over the room as everyone strained to listen. It didn’t help that the voice was alien and deep with a pronounced accent.

_“We have been able to confirm...sources on Togoria and Selvaris...Stormtrooper units across the galaxy have been withdrawn...continue to be...no reports of increased force elsewhere...we have not been able to find out why...no one seems to know...may be possible to rally allies...unmonitored systems-”_

Everyone’s attention turned to Finn as the transmission cut off and they seemed to be collectively holding their breath, waiting for his response. Predictably, Poe was the first to speak, restlessly shifting his weight from one foot to the other. 

“What do you think?” He asked. “Is this a massive departure from protocol? Cuz it sure feels like one.”

Finn nodded, thinking quickly.

“Usually, if a unit gets pulled out it’s because their post is stable and the troopers are needed somewhere else, but that message made it sound like no one’s reported them mobilizing anywhere in particular. I’ve never heard of units in three different sectors all being called back to the fleet for no reason.”

“You would think-” Rose began, then faltered when everyone turned to look at her, “You would think that the First Order would want to do the opposite right now, be a _stronger_ presence in the galaxy, to show that Snoke’s death hasn’t crippled them.”

Several people, including Finn, nodded at this and Rose blushed a little, her hands in the pockets of her coveralls as she avoided his gaze. 

“What I’m wondering,” Poe said, his expression darkening, “is whether the First Order is consolidating its forces in preparation for something. Something _big._ ”

“If that’s the case, this might be our best chance to gather allies,” said the young man operating the comm, “I think that’s what he meant, there at the end. With more systems not being directly monitored by Stormtroopers it might be easier for forces to mobilize and come find us.”

Poe nodded intently, deep in thought, before clapping his hands together and looking around at all of them.

“Alright, I’m gonna bring this to the General, so keep it under your hats for now, but good work everyone. This could be a gamechanger for us.”

The exhausted comm techs all smiled at this, clearly gratified and reassured by their captain’s praise. Finn was invited to bring the report to Leia with him, and ended up exchanging a deeply awkward smile with Rose as they parted ways. They still hadn’t spoken to each other about what had happened on Crait. For awhile after the battle Finn had privately wondered if Rose even remembered kissing him, but her occasional awkwardness around him had since made it clear that she did. While Finn liked Rose very much and considered her a friend, the idea of romance seemed oddly remote to him. He found it difficult to imagine anyone pursuing such things in the middle of a war.

 

~

 

In the cool shadows of the Utapaun cliffs Rey turned the flame of the welding torch to the hilt of her new lightsaber. She had moved her work table outside and had been granted dispensation to use a flame as the afternoon light began to wane. The lookouts and surveillance droids had not yet detected any sign that the Resistance had been followed or discovered.

There was something simultaneously comforting and uncomfortable about how much the barren empty planet reminded Rey of Jakku. At certain times of day she would catch herself feeling as though she was back on her homeworld, thinking about which ships she would scavenge, how she could make it to Niima Outpost in time to get home before nightfall. _You’re not on Jakku,_ she would remind herself, coming back to the present with a somewhat jarring rush. She still thought about it sometimes; returning to Jakku with the _Falcon_ and making a home for herself tucked away in the hills. It was a future that she could imagine, as opposed to the constant uncertainty which had followed her ever since she left.

“Careful,” Ben said, a flicker of anxiety in his voice as he leaned over the table a little, “The casing isn’t that thick, and the components on the other side have a much lower melting point.”

“Got it,” Rey said, concentrating more carefully as she squinted through her face shield at the white-hot seam melting into place.

 _Speaking of uncertainty,_ she thought, a guilty twinge between her shoulder blades. It didn’t seem as though the Force bond was going anywhere, but what could possibly come of it? She had already been hard at work under the unending blue sky when Ben had suddenly appeared before her, and what was it that she had felt the instant she saw him? Had it truly been relief? 

She couldn’t help but wonder if the very nature of the Force bond had poisoned her mind in some way, perhaps to an extent that she would never be fully aware of. It made her think of the clay people who lived in the caves deep beneath the surface of Jakku. Every now and then they would emerge and find their way to the outpost looking pale and wild-eyed, their hands and feet and hair crusted with thick red clay. Legend had it that there was ancient magic deep in the ground which the clay people had spent generations digging for, and the deeper they went the more insane they became without realizing what was happening to them. As a child Rey had once been approached by an elderly cave woman who had seized her thin wrist in a surprisingly strong grip, clay crumbling from her fingers as her milky blue eyes widened, focusing on Rey’s face.

Rey hadn’t understood what was being said to her but it went on for almost five minutes, the woman holding her fast with one hand while her other seemed to be carving a history of time in the air with sharp, insistent gestures. Rey had been at once intrigued and terrified, glancing at those nearby for assistance, her wordless pleas ignored with mocking amusement or weary indifference. At the end of the augury the old woman had taken a rock from the rough leather pouch at her waist and pressed it into Rey’s small hands with tears in her eyes, looking joyful when Rey nodded and assured her that she would keep the rock safe. Even though she had never understood its significance, Rey had kept the rock, mostly because it was one of the only gifts she’d ever been given. As far as she knew it was currently sitting on a pipe near her cot in the ruined AT-AT. _If any of it’s still there,_ she thought, somewhat sadly. _If it hasn’t all sunk into the sand._

If she went too far into the Force bond, dug too deep, she feared that whatever affinity existed between herself and Ben would seep into her permanently, and she would emerge one morning as a different person, strange and incomprehensible to those around her. It was good that she had refused him on the _Supremacy_ , vital even, because she had seen the cliff’s edge when he held out his hand to her, the line which could not be uncrossed. She had refused him twice, and yet here they were, building a lightsaber across light years of space and Rey had been relieved to see him.

“Is this how you built your first lightsaber?” She asked, needing a distraction from her thoughts. The seam along the side of the hilt had been completed and she turned off the torch, placing it carefully on its stand and pushing the visor of her shield up over her forehead. Ben’s expression was enigmatic as he studied her work, his thick black hair falling around his face. As Rey became more acquainted with the various manifestations of Ben Solo, she sensed that this particular mood was calm, maybe even content.

“Not quite,” was all he said, but Rey thought she could detect amusement in his tone. 

“I suppose your equipment was more sophisticated,” she went on, “and that no one needed to tell you to be careful of melting points, even though you were probably all of ten years old.” 

He looked up at her, his sharp gaze unexpected and oddly...thrilling? Rey cursed herself in her head. _Cave sickness, just like the clay people._ But she could have sworn that she had almost made him smile. 

“Did your uncle help you make it?”

The lightsaber’s new seam had cooled in the chalky desert air and Rey wondered if she had asked the question in order to curb the rapport between them. The faint ghost of amusement was gone from Ben’s face and Rey could feel the defenses in his mind, as cold and unyielding as stone. 

“Yes,” he said.

Rey hadn’t expected a reply, much less an honest one. It made her want more. 

“What was he like back then?” She asked carefully, watching for his reaction.

Ben stared down at the lightsaber without really seeing it, his arms folded across his chest, looking thoughtful.

“Like a storybook hero,” he said quietly, almost as though he was speaking to himself, “That was how he saw himself.”

Rey blinked, absorbing this. She remembered the legends she’d heard about Luke Skywalker; that he had come from the desert just like her, with nothing remarkable or prestigious to herald him, but that he had found the power to be wise and strong and stand against the forces of darkness. She understood exactly what Ben meant and could picture the version of Luke Skywalker he had grown up with. Rey’s heart sank; she could still hear the self-loathing in the older man’s voice when he’d talked about his legacy.

“Do you think that was really how he saw himself, or was it just the person he thought he was supposed to be?” She asked. 

Their eyes met. _Familiar,_ Rey thought, _I’m relieved to see him because he’s familiar. Even when he first found me on Takodana, he felt inevitable as a nightmare._

“I think it was both,” Ben said after a moment, his low voice a younger version of Han’s.

As the sun set on Utapau the cliffs and canyons would become brighter and brighter as the primary sun reached its horizon, the sunset prolonged by the small, secondary sun following its brother to sleep. The canyon in which the Resistance was hidden would turn gold, then amber, then a rich copper color which glowed hot as an ember before finally beginning to cool into darkness. At night the sky was choked with stars and whenever she couldn’t sleep Rey would sit in the _Falcon’s_ cockpit, looking out from under the ridge at the night sky beyond the dunes. It was starting to get colder now and she remembered that Ben could not feel this, that wherever he was he could not see the Utapaun sunset or feel the sand shifting beneath his boots. 

“Have you made any more progress with the books?” he asked suddenly, and she let out a small wry chuckle before she could stop herself.

“No. One of them isn’t even written in letters, just little pictures, but I still like to look at it. Sometimes I think that I can feel what it’s about, even though I know that’s not true.”

Ben looked intrigued, his brow furrowed slightly.

“What kinds of pictures?”

“Faces mostly, or at least I think they’re supposed to be faces. They’re all a little different, like maybe they’re different people that the writer’s talking about. Some are white and some are black, and then others are half and half,” she paused, “They actually remind me of this pool in the temple on Ahch-To. Its bowl was covered in colored stones that made a picture of a Jedi who was half dark and half light.”

“The Prime Jedi,” Ben murmured, nodding. Rey frowned.

“The what?”

He cleared his throat and shifted his stance slightly, as though coming back to himself. 

“In the first days of the Jedi, there were no Dark or Light side Force users. All Jedi drew power from both the Dark and the Light. They were balanced between the two within themselves, but over time they began to separate. Some Jedi wanted to pull further away from emotion and attachment, to surrender themselves wholly to the will of the Force. The others,” he paused, “believed that Jedi were stronger and more effective when their power was fed by emotion and personal risk, that the Force should be used to bring order and control to the galaxy.”

“The Jedi and the Sith,” Rey said, and he nodded again.

“There was a third smaller group that wanted to preserve the original way of the Jedi. Over time they disappeared, but they were known as the Prime or Grey Jedi.”

“Grey Jedi,” Rey repeated, considering the idea as she picked up the lightsaber and ran a fingertip along the new seam of the housing. “I think that’s the kind of Jedi I want to be.”

Across from her Ben shifted slightly in surprise, and when she looked up at him he was smiling at her, a small, unguarded, almost childlike smile. As quickly as it happened, however, he averted his eyes, becoming stoic once more as though he could pretend she hadn’t caught him. Rey looked away as well, biting back a grin, and a thought occurred to her.

“What kind of Jedi did you want to be?”

A hardness sprang into his eyes and Rey knew immediately that she had stepped too far. In all of their interactions it was though they circled each other’s fortresses, maintaining safe distance and then coming closer, making each other tense and reach for a weapon, as though at any moment if one of them was not sufficiently vigilant they would be overtaken. She was reminded of the first time she had used the Force to reach into his mind and catch his deepest secret, barely aware of what she was doing. It occurred to her that neither of them had tried to do that to the other since. 

An answer surfaced in her mind, but it wasn’t the clear, cool ripple of Force that she’d felt from Leia. It came to her like a warm touch in the darkness, so subtle that she wasn’t entirely sure if it was her thought or his. There was a strange, suspended moment in which they both seemed about to speak, and then he was gone. The connection had broken and Rey was left standing at her work table in the semi-darkness, feeling oddly unmoored in his absence. She took a step back, looking around her as though he might pop back out of the shadows, but the Force had returned to its peaceful, steady hum.

Rey contemplated the lightsaber she had just finished welding together and picked it up, feeling its weight and balance as she turned it in a smooth series of looping arcs and twists. She hesitated, then slid the switch forward with her thumb, heart leaping as the weapon came to life in her hand. The blade was white blue, the magical color of snow shadows, its hum not quite steady as the plasma crackled. Ben had warned her that this might happen, given the damage that the kyber crystal had sustained, but as Rey watched it arc through the air she thought she rather liked its imperfection. 

The second saber lay expectantly on the work table, needing only the same last seam to be complete, but Rey knew that it was too dark now to risk a welding flame as she extinguished her blade. The silence of Utapau, of hiding, always seemed heavier just after the Force bond broke, when she could still see Ben and hear his voice in her head. As she collected her supplies and equipment into a large dusty toolbox, Rey kept feeling the contours of the answer which had slipped into her mind, becoming more certain each time that it had been his. When Ben Solo had emerged as Kylo Ren, he was barely recognizable to those who had known him, beyond their comprehension. In order to choose the Dark side he would have had to _keep_ choosing the Dark side, each choice making it that much harder to ever choose the Light. 

_What kind of Jedi did you want to be?_

_A good one._

 

~

 

_The Quelii Sector_

 

In spite of the fact that he had personally called for his general, Kylo was startled when the elevator doors opened and Hux strode into the throne room. He blamed this on the fact that he was still somewhat unnerved by his interaction with Rey a few hours before. Hux’s demeanor was ominously calm as he approached, his lack of expression serene, and Kylo forced himself to focus.

“You summoned me, Supreme Leader.”

“I’m aware of it. I wanted to discuss my initial thoughts on the Stormtrooper program.”

An infinitesimal twitch of distaste appeared in the corners of Hux’s mouth but otherwise he remained admirably impassive. 

“I’ve been going through the behavioral conditioning records, trying to determine if FN2187’s defection was due to a flaw in his training, but so far I haven’t come across anything unusual,” he paused, reaching out for Hux’s mind with the Force, “Given that natural-born troopers will never be as malleable as clones, have you considered programming cadets with fail-safe executive orders?”

Hux’s expression and stance did not change, his pale green eyes lifeless.

“We have records of attempts which were made during the last days of the Empire, but the results were never replicated satisfactorily.”

“What kinds of attempts?” Kylo asked, careful of his tone.

“Hypnosis, chemical inducement, partial lobotomies. The command was self-termination and the success rate never rose above thirty percent, so the idea was ultimately abandoned.”

Kylo nodded as though this information was important. In truth, the only relevant aspect of Hux’s answer was that it hadn’t been a lie. They both knew that the Stormtroopers were the main weapons in Hux’s arsenal, the indispensable apparatus for any significant action he might take against Kylo.

“Was there anything else, Supreme Leader?” Hux asked calmly, and Kylo paused to study the other man. As he did so, a thought unexpectedly rose to the surface of Hux’s mind, startling in its vivid clarity. As though he were looking directly at a monitor screen, Kylo saw the security footage of himself and Rey in Snoke’s elevator. For a split second his heartbeat stuttered in alarm, and then he noticed a second twitch in the corners of Hux’s mouth, one of satisfaction this time. Kylo waved his hand dismissively.

“Not at the moment, General. Continue sending the hourly status reports.”

The little bow Hux gave him was so stiff it seemed incredible that he didn’t audibly crack.

“Very well, Supreme Leader.”

Once Hux had left Kylo sat motionless on his throne for a long moment, deep in thought. He supposed it was only fair; in seizing the Stormtrooper program he had revealed a glimpse of his hand, and now Hux had responded in kind. Anger rose within him as he cursed himself for not reaching the _Supremacy’s_ security archive in time, but there was nothing to be done about it now. The battle lines were being drawn between them and he needed to stay the course; his control of the First Order was not so strong that he could get away with murdering Hux in cold blood. 

The holoreceptor on the arm of his throne began to blink red, and Kylo removed a glove to press the pad of his right thumb to the security sensor. The blue light of the hologram coalesced into a helmeted figure dressed all in black whose only identifying feature was the single band of black metal around the bicep of its right arm. The Knight inclined its head in respect.

“Report,” Kylo said quietly.

“Master Ren, we’ve intercepted an encrypted transmission to Utapau from the Dathomir system.”

The mechanized voice produced by the helmet disguised any hint of humanity, but after so many years Kylo was able to detect every nuance of personality among his Knights.

“Have you been able to decode the message?” He asked.

“Not yet Master, but the individual in question has been on our radar for awhile and this is the first off-world transmission he’s made in almost three months.”

Kylo absorbed this, remembering the heightened flush of Rey’s cheeks, collarbones and shoulders, along with the traces of sand clinging to her hair and blown across her work table. Utapau made sense. The First Order would need to strike as soon as possible before the Resistance had a chance to escape again, and Kylo could not afford to let Hux see him hesitate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much fluffy Reylo nonsense and I LOVE IT. <3 <3 <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The First Order comes to Utapau and the Resistance is forced to make an escape.

_Utapau_

 

Rey sprang out of her bunk as the scream of a TIE fighter engine ripped through the canyon. Feeling as though she was going to choke on her own panic, she blindly pulled on her boots and Force-pulled her new lightsaber to her hand. From across the ship she heard Chewie howl and knew that he was readying himself to fight as well. As they came down the _Falcon’s_ loading ramp Rey expected chaos similar to her escape from Jakku; bursts of fire and debris, people running over each other in terror and confusion, but all they found was the predawn darkness of Utapau, its silence broken only by the diminishing echo of the TIE fighter.

“If there was only one ship it might just be a scout,” Rey whispered to Chewie, “Not the whole First Order come to finish us off.”

Chewie gripped his bowcaster and gave a low, doubtful growl. 

“I know,” Rey muttered.

As the echo faded she tried to reach out in the Force, but wasn’t entirely sure what she was searching for, and was aware of little more than her own frantic heartbeat. She lost track of how long she and Chewie waited beneath the stone ridge outside the _Falcon_ , intent and silent, clutching their weapons. Just as the sky was beginning to lighten the TIE fighter made one more pass over the canyon, looking like a nightmarish black spider as it hurtled through the air, the sound of it piercing. The silence afterwards seemed agonizingly protracted before they finally heard a thin low call come from the nearest empty window of the ruins.

Crouched down low to the ground and moving quickly, Rey and Chewie came out from under the ridge and crossed the now frightening open space between the cliffs and the base, ducking into the first available entrance to get out of sight. As they made their way through the crumbling halls of the once-elegant building the other members of the Resistance began rising from their hiding spots as well, all of them silently converging on the large antechamber where General Organa and her senior officers were waiting. Even though Rey knew that Leia must be afraid, all she felt from the older woman was focus and energy, as though the needs of the situation transported her beyond such things as fear and resignation. Her dark eyes moved over them as they gathered, and once she was satisfied that all were present, she spoke. 

“You know why we’re here,” she began, “Our next actions must be quick and decisive. The TIE fighter seems to have been a single scout, but we have to assume the worst. We will be evacuating immediately, procedure seven. If you don’t remember that one, don’t panic; ask someone who looks like they know what they’re doing.” There was a quiet ripple of nervous laughter at this, and Leia smiled reassuringly at them, “The First Order may return at any moment. They’ll expect us to either make an off-world escape or move to another hiding place here on Utapau. For the time being we’ve decided on the second option and have chosen a spot not far from here. Captain Dameron will accompany a handful of you to this location before returning in the _Falcon_ to collect the rest of our personnel and equipment,” she turned to Poe, who stepped forward, somehow more handsome for his exhausted bloodshot eyes and unshaven face.

“First group coming with me,” he pointed to them in turn, “Commander D’Acy, Zola with a comm unit, Cardin and Traego with med kits, Chewie, and Rey. Get at least two weapons a piece and be at the _Falcon_ in five minutes.”

“You have your orders,” Leia said simply, “May the Force be with us all.”

Finn and Rey had just enough time to clasp shoulders, the gesture full of unspoken hope and fear, before she returned to the _Falcon_ , glancing nervously over her shoulder at the rapidly brightening sky. As she and Chewie began prepping for takeoff she was fervently grateful that they had spent so much of their time on Utapau repairing the aged ship. Voices and hurried footsteps were soon heard as the selected crew members boarded and Poe appeared in the entrance of the cockpit.

“Ready to go when you are,” he said, looking between her and Chewie.

“We’re ready,” Rey said, turning to the navigation screen, “What are the coordinates?”

Chewie began the takeoff procedure as Rey entered the numbers. She could feel Poe watching her as she began to maneuver the ship out from beneath the ridge and tried not to let it make her self-conscious. She knew that she could fly well.

“Stay as close to the ground as you can,” Poe said, looking up into the sky, “Too high and we might get picked up by their scanners.”

“If we’re too close to the ground the energy pulses from the engine will leave a trail in the sand,” Rey countered. 

“You’re right,” Poe said without demur, “About twenty feet up should be the sweet spot.”

Rey nodded and continued to follow the course detailed on the navigation screen. 

“Here we go,” Poe said, leaning forward over the back of her chair and pointing straight ahead, “You see that dark stretch of sand?”

“Yes.”

“That’s the entrance to a sinkhole. We’re gonna go straight into it but not too fast; the landing spot’s less than eighty feet down.”

Rey followed his instructions and was momentarily awed by the sight as she smoothly tipped the _Falcon_ into the sinkhole. From what she could see in the pale morning light it went down for miles, and all around the sides complex, sophisticated structures had been carved out of the impacted rust-colored rock. The landing platform Poe directed her to was one of at least four that she could see and the _Falcon_ slid into it with room to spare.

Commander D’Acy picked up the reigns of leadership immediately, directing Zola on where to set up the comm unit so that they could communicate with the others and maintain an ongoing scan for approaching ships. Cardin and Traego began prepping the med supplies to receive anyone who might be injured in the evacuation, and Poe was already back in the _Falcon_ preparing to return for the others.

“What should Chewie and I be doing?” Rey asked, feeling oddly out of step with the rest of them.

“You’re here to help protect them and keep tabs on the Force,” Poe said distractedly as he flipped switches and adjusted the pilot’s chair, “Chewie’s a fighter and it makes sense for him to be with you since you’re one of the only people here who understands Shyriiwook.”

“Alright,” Rey said, even though privately she was a little flummoxed by what he had said. _Keep tabs on the Force?_

She and Chewie stationed themselves on the edge of the landing platform, watching and waiting much as they had done after the TIE fighter first appeared. Rey’s double lightsaber was in her hand and the blaster Han had given her was in its holster against her thigh. Chewie had his bowcaster with two extra bandoliers of ammunition and knives crisscrossing his furry chest. Every so often Zola would report on the progress of the evacuation from the comm while all six of them waited in tense silence.

It took less than half an hour for the _Falcon_ to reappear at the top of the sinkhole. There had been no attack during the evacuation and everyone was delivered to the landing platform uninjured, so clearly relieved and surprised by their good fortune that several celebratory hugs were exchanged as they smiled into each other’s faces. The rest of the comm units were set up, boosting the collective signal and scanning capabilities of the Resistance. They sent out new encrypted bulletins asking, as they always did, for aid, information, and assurance that they weren't alone. General Organa, Commander D’Acy, Poe, and the dark bearded man whose name was Muersen gathered off by themselves to discuss what their next move should be, and everyone else took the opportunity to eat a long overdue breakfast with their blasters at the ready. Just before midday Leia and her officers called them together to report that they had finally made contact with an ally on one of the Outer Rim worlds, a planet Rey had never heard of called Jelucan.

“Their resources are very limited,” Leia said, “but that might work in our favor. From the First Order’s point of view there would be very little tactical advantage in hiding on Jelucan.”

It was decided that they would stay put that day, running scans continuously for signs of the First Order. If nothing was detected, they would make their escape under cover of darkness. The day passed slowly without incident as people alternately rested, performed guard duties, maintenance checks, and made exploratory forays into the vast subterranean settlement looking for abandoned supplies and equipment. 

Rey patrolled the landing platform, feeling restless and reluctant to wander too far from the _Falcon_. She had finished her lightsaber the day before and was still getting used to it. The two housings were tarnished and mismatched, scarred by the inelegantly welded seams, but she was deeply proud of it, particularly of the magnetic interlock she and Ben had developed. Fastened together the lightsabers turned in her hands as though they were a single object, and with both blades ignited the whole thing was less than an inch longer than her staff. The challenge was learning how to handle two ignition switches simultaneously while in motion, and adjusting certain staff positions so that she didn’t accidentally clip herself. In the semi-darkness of the platform the blades formed two wide ribbons of blue light which seemed to chase each other through the air as she turned the sabers, eliciting the occasional approving comment from Chewie where he stood guard near the entrance. 

Rey had taken a break to come stand beside him, squinting out at a distant platform on the other side of the sinkhole, when she suddenly felt the Force twist around her, a jolt so profound it was almost gravitational. She came to a stop, half doubling over and clutching her stomach as she struggled to breathe, deaf to Chewie’s alarmed concern. The truth of the Force rushed into her mind with all the cold certainty of a steel club coming down on vulnerable limbs as she turned, frantically looking for Leia. Within moments Rey had crossed the platform, ignoring those around her and the conversation she had interrupted as she rushed to Leia’s side. 

“General Organa,” she gasped, her voice cracking, “the First Order is coming.”

Leia’s face fell, her eyes widening in comprehension. The next few minutes did not unspool with the same smooth efficiency which the Resistance had managed that morning. An imminent arrival of the First Order meant that escaping off-world wasn’t an option, nor was leaving the sinkhole for another hideout; they would be spotted and blown out of the sky. At the speed of panic it was decided that Chewie would take the _Falcon_ to the bottom of the sinkhole, flying it as far into the tunnels as he could, while the rest of the Resistance would break off into small groups and scatter from their current position. Each group would be armed with a pocket comm link and whatever weapons they could carry, and would hide until the danger had passed. 

Rey found herself running half blind through the unfamiliar architecture of the Utapaun city with Poe, Rose, Zola, and two other young soldiers whose names she had not yet learned, her mind split between what was happening and her Force awareness of what was coming for them, snapping at their heels like a sun-crazed dog. They were running single-file down a narrow hallway in what looked like a network of maintenance systems, the automated lighting weak and patchy but still somehow functioning. Around a corner and halfway down an even narrower hall they came to a room with a fortified steel door, but found it locked. Pushed beyond self-doubt, Rey put her hand to the door and imagined the locking mechanisms within, willing them to move, and felt a shudder ripple through her as the locks disengaged and the door slid open. No lights came on once they were inside and Rey carefully ignited one of her sabers so they could see where they were. The room was small and the machinery, which Rose identified as some kind of ventilation system, had clearly gone cold long ago.

“It would explain the fortified door,” Rose whispered, “If the air circulation was controlled from this room they would want to protect the machinery from sabotage.”

“Is it a problem that the machines aren’t working anymore?” One of the young soldiers asked, looking scared, “Since _we_ breathe air and all?”

“Well we won’t be here very long,” Poe said bracingly, clapping a hand on the boy’s shoulder, “So we won’t have to worry about that, will we?”

The young man swallowed and nodded, trying to look brave. Rey touched the door again, using the Force to lock them in. Once this had been done and they situated themselves with their weapons in hand, Rey extinguished her lightsaber and they were plunged into darkness. She could not have said how long they waited in the maintenance room deep beneath the surface of Utapau. It was so silent that she could hear her heart beating as she held her position in front of the door, prepared to fight, prepared to defend the others with her life, prepared to discover whatever it was that she was meant to _do_. The darkness was so complete that when she closed her eyes it made no difference. The motion-activated lights in the hallway beyond the room had gone dark again in their absence. Rey focused on the Force, reaching out with her feelings for a glimpse of what might happen next. 

And then she heard them, _felt_ them, deliberate footsteps in the distance approaching their hiding place with ruthlessly unerring confidence. Her entire body suddenly alive with adrenaline, Rey slowly and silently raised her lightsaber, ready to ignite the blades and attack. She felt the rough stone surface of the floor beneath her boots, mentally gauging how it would grip and support her during combat. The footsteps had to be coming closer, because she could tell that her companions heard them now too. Terror was beginning to crackle through the air like electricity and Rey silently begged them to stay quiet, to not panic, to not move, even though it was likely no use. Their emotions would be a cacophony in the Force. The footsteps were closer, they were on the other side of the door. They stopped. Rey opened her eyes.

Kylo Ren was staring back at her.

The flickering lights in the hallway paled in comparison to the spitting, crackling red of his lightsaber, so bright after the darkness that it made Rey’s eyes water. He was wearing his black battle leathers, no cape, the scar running down the side of his pale face thrown into sharp relief by the red light. She knew that the door was still physically between them, that all he could see was the darkness which surrounded her, but somehow he was looking directly into her eyes and she knew that he _saw_ her. She tightened her grip on her lightsaber, her muscles singing with the anticipation of violence. She would fight him. She would kill him if she had to. This was what they had been building up to all along and nothing else mattered. She had always known it would come to this, and so did he. But Kylo Ren didn’t move. His expression was familiar, fiercely contained and inscrutable, making her feel as though she was only glimpsing the first few steps into an endless cave. She could feel the blood pounding in her hands.

“Supreme Leader!”

The voice rang out from the other side of the door, making everyone inside the maintenance room startle, fighting to remain silent. Rey saw Kylo’s head turn towards the sound and the armed Stormtrooper at the end of the hallway bowed slightly, looking cowed.

“Forgive me sir, General Hux sent me to offer you assistance if-if you’ve found anything.”

A moment of silence. Rey took a deep quaking breath.

“At ease,” Kylo Ren said indifferently, “There’s nothing down here.”

Without further hesitation he turned away from the door and went to the Stormtrooper, who obsequiously fell in line behind him, the sound of their footsteps fading as they moved away. The lights went out and all was silent once more. Behind her Rey heard faint exhalations of relieved breath, shifting movements, and she immediately hushed her companions. Somewhere in the distance Kylo Ren had rejoined his troops and even though she could no longer see him in the Force she could still hear everything in her head as though she were standing at his side.

There were dozens of footsteps now; she heard the clack and click of armor plating, the unmistakable sound of blasters being primed and handled, the powerful rumble of a transport engine and boots coming down what sounded like an exit ramp.

“Report,” Kylo Ren said, his tone calm yet unassailable.

“I regret to say that we have not turned up anything yet,” said a clipped and rather unxious male voice, too sophisticated and haughty for a Stormtrooper, “It wouldn’t take much effort to raze it; the structural integrity of these sinkholes is not particularly renowned. One targeted barrage from above would likely be enough to collapse the whole city.”

“It would also be a waste of time and ammunition if they’re not actually here,” Kylo said dismissively, “We know they were in this quadrant last night and wouldn’t have had time to go far. We’ll continue to monitor for surface activity. Now that they know we’ve found them they’ll have to try to escape the planet and when they do we’ll be ready.”

“Very good, Supreme Leader,” said the unxious man, his words cold.

More footsteps were followed by the hiss and creak of the ramp being withdrawn, and the Force connection broke, the sudden absence of noise making Rey’s ears ring in confusion for a moment. Less than a minute later their comm link began to vibrate with small, insistent alerts as the other scattered groups in hiding communicated that the First Order’s ships had withdrawn from the sinkhole.

“We’re being called back to the platform,” Poe murmured, and in the darkness Rey heard an ominous weight in his voice which she knew was meant for her. They emerged from their hiding place, returning to the platform in tense, anxious silence. Rey tried to suppress the feeling that everyone was stealing glances at her when she wasn’t looking.

The scene on the landing platform was only marginally less chaotic than it had been when they fled into hiding. Leia was the rock in a swirl of officers and personnel taking headcounts, gathering supplies, and trying to maintain an orderly calm. She was intent upon the comm link in her hand, clearly working to block out the storm of voices around her. Finn had already returned and sought out Rey, Rose and Poe from where he stood, looking into their eyes in turn as though this confirmed that they were truly alive and well. Poe gave little more than a glance to his friend. His expression was dark, the set of his shoulders rigid, and as their group began to disperse Rey was startled by his hand closing around her wrist.

“You and I need to talk to the general,” he said quietly, his tone broaching no argument. For a moment Rey considered shaking him off and feigning ignorance, but she knew that it wouldn’t do any good. 

“Alright,” she replied while firmly removing his hand from her wrist. With a kind of dogged righteousness Poe led her straight into the membrane of activity surrounding Leia, halting her mid-sentence as she looked up at him questioningly.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, General,” Poe said, inclining his head towards her, “but we need to speak with you privately, right now.”

The line of Leia’s mouth tightened almost imperceptibly.

“It’s not a good time, Poe,” she said.

“I understand that, General, but this is critical. The Resistance _cannot_ proceed until we’ve met with you.”

There was a brief but profoundly fraught silence between the three of them before Leia looked away, bringing the comm link to her mouth once more.

“Chewie, bring the _Falcon_ back up and keep her running,” she then turned to Muersen, who had been watching the interaction with an increasingly dubious expression. “I won’t be long,” she said, “make sure the ship gets loaded up and that everyone’s ready for evacuation.” 

“Yes, General Organa,” he said, and Leia led Poe and Rey from the platform to a small nearby alcove. Once they were out of sight Leia’s unflappable calm slipped noticeably. She sighed and crossed her arms with the attitude of one bracing for calamity.

“Let’s hear it then,” she said.

Poe turned to Rey, his hands on his hips.

“I need you to tell the General and I _exactly_ how Kylo Ren managed to walk directly to our hiding place like he already knew where we were.”

Leia gave a small start of surprise, her brows coming together as she looked between them. The ominous weight Rey had sensed earlier settled fully upon her.

“I’m not sure how-”

“That’s not true,” he interrupted, his hard gaze unshakable, “There’s something you’re not telling us.”

Rey clenched her fists at her sides, resisting the impulse to rise to his antagonism.

“Kylo Ren and I have...a connection...through the Force.”

“What does that mean?” Poe asked.

“Snoke said that he bridged our minds. It means that we can... _appear_ to each other, that we can see and hear each other as though we were face to face.”

She couldn’t bring herself to look at them, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks.

“Neither of us can control when it happens,” she added, feeling compelled to fill the terrible silence. Poe blinked at her incredulously.

“So you’re telling us that the _Supreme Leader of the First Order_ can, at any moment, pop in to see and hear everything you’re doing?” When Rey didn’t answer he went on, his eyes sparking with anger, “And you didn’t think that was something we should know about?”

Rey glanced at Leia, but the older woman said nothing, looking shaken and oddly diminished as she watched them.

“I’m sorry-” Rey began.

“When was the last time this happened?” Poe demanded.

“The day before yesterday.”

Poe took a step back, nodding grimly to himself.

“The day before yesterday, the same day that the First Order probably intercepted our transmission from Dathomir.”

“What are you saying?” Rey asked, feeling her pulse quicken.

“It just seems like a pretty big coincidence, that’s all,” he fell still again, narrowing his eyes at her, “You two talk to each other?” 

Rey swallowed.

“I’m not a traitor.”

He didn’t answer right away, the silence spiraling horribly between the three of them.

“I never said you were,” he said finally, “but that doesn’t mean he isn’t spying on us through you.”

“We can’t use it like a homing beacon,” Rey managed, only half aware of what she was saying.

“Maybe _you_ can’t,” Poe countered, “but I’m having a hard time coming up with a better explanation here, and if we manage to get off of Utapau, how do we know that the First Order won’t just follow us straight to Jelucan?” He paused, “How can I be sure that it’s even safe to talk to you right now?”

Rey shivered, completely at a loss for how to respond, her mind suddenly adrift in doubt and fear.

“It might be a risk we have to take Poe,” Leia murmured, “We’re running out of options.”

“The First Order is waiting just outside atmo,” Rey said, ashamed of the tears clotting in her throat, “monitoring for surface activity. If we come up an inch out of the sinkhole they’ll be on us.”

“Thanks for the intel,” Poe said dryly. Leia was quiet, deep in thought.

“We’ll have to jump to light speed without breaking the surface,” she said, catching Poe’s eye.

“You mean-” he began.

“From the bottom of the sinkhole, pointing straight up,” she finished, her expression brightening with inspiration. Poe turned to Rey.

“Can the _Falcon_ manage that?”

Rey nodded, her mind latching onto the problem almost desperately, “I think so; we checked the hyperdrive and thrusters yesterday and they’re in good condition. If we’re at the very bottom the sinkhole should be deep enough for us to enter hyperspace without tripping their scanners.”

“I’m ready to make the call,” Leia said to Poe, in full command once more, “Is this going to be a problem?”

Poe lowered his head, clearly chewing on his words.

“No, General,” he said finally, “You’re right. We’re running out of time.”

On the landing platform the _Falcon_ was waiting for them and Rey headed straight for it, indifferent to Leia and Poe explaining their idea to the others, the murmurs of anxiety, Finn’s questioning glance and the orders to board the ship and strap in. Chewie greeted her with a mixture of warmth and concern when she entered the cockpit and took her seat in the pilot’s chair. She told him what needed to be done and the two of them discussed how they would coordinate their execution of the plan as the Resistance crowded onto the ship. Once the landing platform had emptied Leia came to the cockpit.

“Everyone’s ready,” she said, “Do the two of you feel confident about what you’re going to do?”

“Yes, General,” Rey said as Chewie _murled_ in agreement. Rey bit the inside of her lip as the older woman stepped up behind her chair and put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“You’re a good pilot, Rey,” Leia murmured, “I trust you. You don’t need to worry about anything else right now.”

“Thank you, General,” Rey managed, and Leia gave her shoulder a small squeeze before leaving. Rey began easing the _Falcon_ backwards out from the landing platform and further into the sinkhole. Less than thirty feet down the rumble of the thrusters changed and she exchanged a cautious glance with Chewie. In other circumstances she would have simply let the ship fall to reduce extended strain on the thrusters, but that wasn’t a safe option with so many passengers.

The unbroken blue sky above them became smaller and smaller as they sank into the darkness of the sinkhole, Rey willing the thrusters to hold steady and refusing to let herself think about what would happen if the hyperdrive failed to engage, or if the First Order decided to open fire on them after all. Just as it was beginning to feel as though they were going to end up traveling through to the other side of the planet, the _Falcon’s_ proximity detector alerted them to the icy black water at the bottom of the sinkhole. Chewie and Rey responded at once, perfectly in sync as they turned the ship until its notched nose was pointed straight up at the distant patch of sky. 

“Coordinates entered for Jelucan,” Rey said, “Ready to engage the hyperdrive.”

She and Chewie took hold of the switch and her breath caught as the hyperdrive came to life, a powerful thrumming roar which grew and grew until her skull reverberated with it. They were hurtling upwards now, pressed back into their seats, and in the moment when the world began to stretch into a tunnel of blue light Rey closed her eyes. Inevitably, painfully, her first thought was of Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Action definitely isn't my genre, but I still had a lot of fun writing this one. There's this incredible scene in "Les Miserables" when Jean Valjean is cornered and everyone goes silent as ominous, deliberate footsteps are heard coming up through the building towards them and I still remember reading it for the first time, _freaking out_ as I realized that it was Javert finally about to catch Valjean. The moment where Kylo and Rey see each other through the door and he lies about them being there was one of the very first ideas I had for the story. For some reason the final confrontation between Poe, Leia and Rey took me, like, five passes, but I'm reasonably satisfied with it :) Also Leia is awesome and I love writing her <3 Also also, Jelucan! Shout out to "Lost Stars" by Claudia Gray!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance settles in on Jelucan, Hux finally lashes out, and Rey and Ben reach a crossroads.

As the _Falcon_ came down through the atmosphere and emerged from a cloud bank into the skies of Jelucan, the fear and doubt which had been hounding Rey were momentarily eclipsed by joy. Jelucan was _beautiful_. The horizon was girded on all sides by mountains, their sheer size and majesty impossible, crowns white with snow or hidden in the clouds. Between the mountains the land dipped low into lush green valleys. Sunlight glinted off of rivers and lakes, and as the _Falcon_ continued its descent Rey could see open plains with furrows of rich black soil. On Jakku a concept like farming seemed almost fantastical, something you knew must exist but were never likely to see for yourself (if there was water on Jelucan did that mean they also had _fish?_ ) 

General Organa came into the cockpit, putting an affectionate hand on Chewie’s shoulder and smiling out at the paradise before them.

“We’re looking for a village,” she said, “They’ve offered us shelter in an abandoned mine. The Empire came very close to decimating Jelucan in their efforts to strip its minerals.”

“I’m so glad they failed,” Rey said.

A forest suddenly gave way beneath them to more furrowed fields, and beyond Rey saw the small cluster of dwellings; squat, charming structures made of timber and clay with thatched roofs. There were stone circles for cooking fires and what looked like wells, along with pens and stables which contained large two-horned beasts with thick shaggy fur. People were emerging from their homes to wave at the ship and small children were running, trying to keep pace with the _Falcon_ in their enthusiasm. Rey’s landing area was designated by villagers literally pointing her to a stretch of open ground at the foothills of the nearest mountain.

When the Resistance emerged from the _Falcon_ it seemed that the entire population of the village had assembled to greet them, headed by a delicate snow-haired woman in an elaborately embroidered cloak. Instantly recognizable as their leader, she had kind bright eyes and walked with a wooden staff which had been worn to a smooth polish. She and Leia greeted each other with relieved smiles, clasping hands and speaking softly as the Jelucani regarded the Resistance with a mixture of curiosity, trepidation, and excitement. As Rey scanned the crowd she guessed that there were less than forty total, and perhaps a third looked as though they could be capable fighters. 

“I hope the General is right about this,” Finn whispered, standing at Rey’s shoulder. The note of anxiety in his voice told her that their thoughts were following a similar path. If the First Order found them again these people wouldn’t stand a chance, and the Resistance was hardly in better shape. 

“I hope so too,” she said. 

 

~

 

_The Quence Sector_

 

It had become apparent to anyone with half a brain that the Supreme Leader and his general were spoiling for a fight. Kylo didn’t need the Force to perceive the stiffening postures and quickly averted eyes of the officers in the data pits as he heard Hux’s unmistakable stride growing louder in the corridor.

“General on the bridge!” One of the lieutenants announced, and Kylo could all but feel Hux’s withering look of contempt as he continued to where Kylo stood looking out over the golden curve of Utapau. Hux came to an emphatic stop exactly five feet behind him, the standard distance for an unscheduled public encounter with a superior. 

“Supreme Leader,” he began, “it appears as though the energy signature we detected on the planet’s surface was indeed the residual trace of a light-speed jump.”

Kylo allowed himself to close his eyes for a moment, clenching his fists. The fact that Hux was delivering this information in front of other officers, his tone precisely calibrated to be well heard without shouting, told Kylo that he was approaching the end of his professional restraint. 

“Furthermore,” Hux went on, “the jump seems to have been made from within the very sinkhole we investigated.”

Kylo turned, regarding the other man calmly. Hux’s normally pale face was almost lurid, the line of a vein pushing up across his forehead. Kylo kept his voice measured and unconcerned.

“No matter, we’ll track them down again soon enough, especially if their allies feel emboldened to continue making contact.”

“And _then_ what?” Hux snapped, “Do you actually intend to vanquish our enemies, or merely skip along after them from one end of the galaxy to the other?”

A deafening silence fell over the bridge. Out of the corner of his eye Kylo could see officers watching them, wide-eyed, fingers hovering over their dataport controls. He drew himself up to his full height as he took a step closer to Hux, his desire to hurt the other man so potent he could practically taste it.

“Why should I confide my plans to a subordinate who displays such doubt and disrespect?” He said quietly. “Control yourself, General, or you will be controlled.”

They stood glaring at each other, and Hux’s lip began to curl in a sneer as he shook his head.

“You dare talk to anyone about _control_ ,” he said, “When the lowest piece of desert filth can leash you like a _dog-_ ”

The rest of Hux’s statement was compressed into a thick, wet gurgle as his eyes suddenly bulged and he collapsed onto the bridge, fingers scrabbling uselessly at his straining throat. Kylo stood over him, seething with rage and satisfaction as the man writhed at his feet, his horrible face purpling, capillaries bursting in his eyes.

_Not like this. This isn’t what you want._

The thought entered Kylo’s mind with the cool strength of a steadying hand, and though he resisted it at once, a moment later he found himself letting go. He could feel the air rushing back into Hux’s lungs as the other man sprawled on the floor, barely sensate, and for one alarming moment Kylo found himself adrift in confusion. Everything was still and silent, the eyes of every officer fixed on him, their muscles tense in anticipation of the killing blow. Instead, Kylo turned and left the bridge, distractedly ordering a Stormtrooper to take General Hux to the med bay as he did so.

 

~

 

_Jelucan_

 

Over the next few days Rey and the Resistance were content to lose themselves in the business of establishing their new base. The mine they’d taken refuge in had been almost savagely carved around a natural cave system with a reinforced steel door which slid up from the main entrance. Their solar generators and comm units were set up and the villagers brought armfuls of bedding, clean clothes and food. Since the _Falcon_ couldn’t be hidden inside the mine itself there had also been a rapid and significant undertaking to piece together an immense tarp to cover the ship, which wouldn’t fool anyone for more than a passing glance but was better than nothing. 

“I still don’t think I would feel safe,” Rose remarked one afternoon as she and Rey were stripping parts from an ancient Jelucani cargo droid, “Don’t you feel vulnerable at night? Out in the open?”

“Not really,” Rey said with a shrug, “I’ve slept in worse places. At least in the _Falcon_ I have a chance for a quick getaway. And cannons.”

Rose smiled at her from across the droid, her straight black hair falling into her eyes as it came loose from her ponytail, and Rey had to smile back. It hadn’t been difficult to develop a bond with the young woman after Finn had introduced them; they were both more comfortable with machines than people and Rey was grateful for Rose’s uncomplicated companionship. They were currently wearing maintenance coveralls, sitting in the grass and mud behind one of the village’s stables, the warm air thick with the smell of Muunyak dung, and Rey felt more at ease than she had all day. 

“You know you’re always welcome to bunk with us though, right? If you ever change your mind?”

There was a sympathetic, knowing look in Rose’s eyes as she said it and Rey nodded silently. It hadn’t been lost on anyone that she was still struggling to find her place within the Resistance, and that sense of separateness extended well beyond where she slept. Whenever she happened to catch Poe’s eye she could immediately see the doubt lingering there, the wariness. What he had said to her on Utapau was still coiling through her mind like viscous contagion.

 _That doesn’t mean he isn’t spying on us through you._

Had Kylo Ren’s glimpses of her through the Force bond helped give away their location? Had he been using her the whole time? Would he again?

Rey gritted her teeth, splitting a section of plating with a hard twist of her pliers, the loud crack satisfying in her ears.

 _He’s a traitor and a murderer,_ she reminded herself bitterly. _He’s had more training in the Force. Of course he could have been using you. Of course he could do it again, but..._

“Did you hear about the transmission from Nar Kreeta?” Rose asked after a while, pulling Rey from the dark stewing of her mind.

“I did, yah. They’re sending us combat units?”

“Mercenaries from Hutt Space,” Rose said, laughing nervously, “They’re supposed to be legendary but I can’t help wondering if they really believe in the cause or if they just like fighting.”

“Does it matter? If they help keep us alive?”

Rose looked thoughtful, considering this as she tugged a grease-blackened ignition shaft from the depths of the machine. One of the Muunyaks had come over to the stable gate and snuffled at them inquisitively while they worked.

“Maybe not,” Rose admitted finally, “The longer this goes on the more I just want it to be over, but I still want to believe that _how_ you win matters just as much as winning itself.”

They smiled at each other again.

“I want to believe that too,” Rey said.

 

That night the Jelucani had a bonfire in the center of the village and invited the Resistance to join them. There was music and dancing and humble food offered generously. The sun set over the plains in a blossoming of color so spectacular that Rey couldn’t take her eyes off of it. She stood apart from the celebration, leaning against the trunk of a young tree, loving how she could feel the sweet bright truth of its life in the Force. The brilliant pink, orange, crimson and yellow of the sunset gradually cooled to silvered lavender and deep indigo as night fell and the stars came out. Rey held very still, not wanting to miss a moment of it.

As much as she cared for Rose, Finn, Chewie and Leia, she was grateful that none of them came to draw her out, even as she ached with loneliness. The contradiction was unsettling and she tried to make sense of it. Things were difficult and frightening with the galaxy at war, but in so many other ways it was the life she had always dreamed of. She was surrounded by decent hardworking people who valued her. She was well-fed and her days had purpose beyond mere survival. She had her freedom. 

So why was she still so lonely?

An answer flickered into her mind but she drew back from it immediately in alarm and shame. The ache in her chest changed shape, like clay being molded, and when the Force suddenly shifted and hummed around her in the darkness it felt as though she had conjured him.

“What are you listening to?” Ben asked from behind her.

Rey swallowed, wrapping her arms around herself.

“A harvest celebration.”

She could feel him moving closer and turned her head to look at him as he came to stand beside her. He was wearing his familiar black leathers with the exception of his gloves, his hands bare, and he seemed paler than she remembered, his bold profile striking in the firelight.

“You look tired,” she said. When he didn’t respond she lowered her head, digging the toe of her boot into the grass. “Although I suppose being the Supreme Leader of the galaxy must be pretty tiring.”

His expression darkened and she was startled by the intensity of his gaze.

“Are you mocking me?” he asked, frustration audible in his voice. Rey felt herself draw back.

“I really wasn’t,” she answered truthfully.

He held her gaze a moment longer, his jaw working silently, and she could feel something building inside of him, every line of his body taut and restless.

“Why didn’t you kill me?” He asked suddenly, “In Snoke’s throne room when you had the chance?” 

Rey blinked in surprise, momentarily at a loss.

“I-I sensed that the Force wasn’t done with you yet. That your life wasn’t mine to take.”

“Wasn’t,” he repeated, a strange urgency behind the words, “Does that mean it _will_ be yours to take someday?”

“I hope not.”

The words had been spoken before she was fully aware of them, almost involuntarily, and for a moment he seemed as surprised as she was. The corners of his mouth tensed as though he was clenching his teeth, his hands in tight fists at his sides.

“Why did you let us go on Utapau?” Rey countered, feeling the need to push back against him. 

Before her eyes weariness settled over him in heavy drifts, as though he’d been traveling for years without rest. There was something deeper too, a flicker of torment in his eyes just before he turned away from her.

“You know why,” he said. 

Though his voice barely scraped above the noise of the celebration, Rey felt as though she would have heard it in the midst of a battle, or from the bottom of the ocean. She watched the firelight play over his face as the ache in her chest changed shape again. She hesitated, then reached out and took his hand. Even having experienced Force-touch before, she was shocked anew by the _power_ of it, as though she’d plunged her hand directly into a fire. Ben startled, looking down at their hands, but he didn’t pull away, and Rey’s mind was suddenly engulfed by feeling- 

It was love.

Ben’s love.

For _her_.

And there was nothing conflicted about it. The Force connected them, and the Force was truth. Just as it had been on Ahch-To the moment was more than revelation; Rey felt as though gravity and oxygen had vanished, that the worlds around and between them might not exist at all. She didn’t let go and Ben took a step closer, his eyes searching hers as he reached up with his other hand to touch her face. She felt his fingers tremble against her skin and lifted her chin up to him, the answering call ringing through her like a bell- 

_Yes-_

A harsh klaxon suddenly blared from Ben’s side, making both of them jump and look towards the sound. Between one breath and the next the Force connection broke and Rey was left standing by herself under the tree in the darkness. She could still feel the warmth of Ben’s palm on her cheek and took a step back, her mind swimming as it tried to catch up with what had just happened. And what hadn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last scene with Rey and Ben at the harvest bonfire was literally the first thing I ever wrote down for this story and I was pleasantly surprised by how much it wanted to be reworked when I pulled this chapter together tonight. I love it when stories surprise me and become fresh again :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE chapter ;)

While she had remained steadfast in her decision to stay with the _Falcon_ , Rey had accepted armfuls of fresh hay and feathers from the villagers to restuff the dilapidated bunks aboard the ship. Her new bed in the captain’s cabin was definitely an improvement, softer and warmer, the smell of the hay comforting. In spite of this her mind refused to be lulled to sleep, her restless limbs stubborn to settle. She stared up at the grimy plating and exposed wires which comprised most of the _Falcon’s_ interior, debating with herself. She had stayed at the bonfire for hours after the Force connection broke, uncertain and oddly fearful of retreating from public view. Finally, however, the celebration had begun to wind down, with the Resistance returning to the mine and the happily inebriated Jelucani stumbling back to their huts in the darkness. Rey had returned to the _Falcon_ with the bewildering sense that she was approaching some kind of cataclysm. Now she sat up, closing her eyes and reaching out through the darkness of the cabin and the empty ship, wondering if what she was attempting was even possible. She’d never intentionally tried to open the connection before- 

Her heart pounded with anticipation as the Force responded, and then Ben Solo appeared before her, sitting on the other side of the small room at what seemed to be a table or desk, looking around before he spotted her sitting across from him. For the first time she saw what must be his nightclothes, dark soft-looking linens, his feet astonishingly bare. His hands were still poised on the desk, writing on real paper with a gleaming black pen, the first one Rey had ever seen.

“What are you writing?” she asked.

“A letter,” he said.

There was something hesitant in his tone and Rey’s hands tightened where they gripped the edges of her blanket.

“Can it wait?” she asked, barely able to hear her own voice over the blood rushing through her ears.

Ben paused, then carefully laid his pen down next to the sheet of paper.

“I suppose it can.”

“Come here,” she said.

There was something intoxicating about the way he obeyed her quiet command, his tall powerful body moving towards her in the darkness. Rey shivered. When he reached the bed he paused, his expression silently asking for guidance, and she pulled her knees up to her chest, indicating the now available space. He sat down carefully, and Rey wondered what he was actually sitting on, where he was. She hoped it was comfortable. Before she could second (or fifth) guess herself she slipped out from under her blanket and crawled over to him, settling on his lap so that they were face to face. 

There was a shallow intake of breath as Ben’s lips parted, his eyes darting a little in surprise. Rey leaned into him, cupping the back of his neck with both hands, her fingertips savoring the soft hair at his nape. Even through the Force the solid reality of him was temporarily overwhelming, his body warmer than she had ever imagined, so that when he placed his hands on her hips they felt like baking stones through the thin fabric of her tunic. 

“Can you feel me?” she breathed.

“Yes,” Ben said, his voice low.

“Good.”

She kissed him harder than she had meant to, and with far less grace, but he didn’t seem to mind, a satisfied noise deep in his throat as his mouth opened to her. Rey was relieved to discover that Force kissing didn’t feel odd or unreal, but she couldn’t help wondering if the Force was actually improving the experience. Would kissing Ben in person feel this _good?_ Her hands were still in his hair as she pulled at his full lips with her teeth, and it wasn’t until he started back with a hiss of pain that she realized she’d bitten him. 

“Sorry, sorry-” she gasped as he reached up to touch his lip, but there was no blood, both of them belatedly remembering the physical limitations of the Force bond.

“It’s okay,” he said, his breathing heavy, and there was a light in his eyes that she remembered from the throne room, during that brief moment when they had stood together in victory before everything went wrong. Rey held his face in her hands and leaned in again, sighing as his arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer. She breathed in the smell of his hair as he kissed the hollow of her throat then, spurred by sudden need, she moved back from him, disentangling herself from his arms so that she could pull the tunic up over her head, tossing it onto the floor. He stared at her, a mixture of wonder and longing in his eyes which turned to hunger as she brought his hand to her breast.

“Take this off,” she whispered, and a moment later his shirt joined hers on the floor of the cabin, closely followed by the rest of their clothes. 

Rey was lying on her back in the bunk again, but now Ben was at her side, naked and warm and kissing her. He was hard but she could feel him holding back, as though still uncertain of his worthiness, and she couldn’t deny that she was relieved to be given more time. She brought his hand between her legs and showed him how to touch her, smiling at the look of concentration on his face. It was very easy suddenly to picture him as a boy, listening attentively during his school lessons, and Rey closed her eyes, beginning to lose herself as he grew more confident. She could feel him watching her, responding to each movement and sound she made, and she wondered briefly if this too was being enhanced by the Force, but it hardly mattered because her pleasure was cresting, a breathless suspended moment of flight as the world fell away. 

She could hear her own breathing again, ragged and loud in the still ship, and she opened her eyes. Ben was still propped on one elbow next to her, looking rather pleased with himself as he withdrew his hand, and he was so beautiful that for a moment Rey wanted to eat him alive. Instead she pushed him onto his back and maneuvered herself on top of him in the narrow bunk. She saw his cockiness vanish at once as he realized what was about to happen and she relished the moment, watching his face as she eased him inside, her opening wet and ready for him. This too was better than she had expected, and while there was still pain it didn’t stop her from moaning out loud as they began to move together. 

Rey found that she loved satisfying him, loved seeing him relinquish control out of something other than anger, and was astonished to find a second climax building deep inside of her. The dilapidated frame of the bunk was beginning to creak and groan in a metallic echo of their exertion until Rey cried out, reflexively tightening around him until he gasped and fell back, his fingertips digging into her hips. Before she could separate from him Ben reached up and gently pulled her down, holding her to his chest as though afraid the connection might break and take her away from him. They lay together like that for a long time, eventually shifting to lie side by side once more, their arms wrapped around each other. 

“Have you ever done that before?” Rey asked.

“No,” Ben said, “have you?”

Rey turned her head to kiss the soft skin over his heart.

“Never like that.”

“Like what?”

She hesitated.

“With...love.”

“Oh,” Ben said, and Rey could feel the unspoken question in his silence. She took a deep breath.

“On Jakku...children who were sold tended to be...passed around. Especially girls.”

He tensed, and she could feel his heart start to beat faster in comprehension. Rey closed her eyes, grateful that she hadn’t had to explain further.

“I was a lot luckier than most,” she went on, “but…”

It was something she’d never spoken about to anyone and words failed her. She could feel Ben watching her, and he touched one of the dark pink rope burn scars which ran up and down both of her arms.

“Is that how you got these?” he asked, his voice catching slightly. Rey swallowed.

“I used to try to run away at night, so Unkar Plutt made sure I couldn’t, and eventually I stopped trying.”

“How did you finally get away?”

“I learned how to fight, and the next time I tried to leave no one could stop me,” she smiled grimly to herself at the memory, “I put three of his best enforcers in the dirt and he let me go.”

“How old were you?”

“About fifteen, I think.”

Ben was quiet for a long moment while Rey listened to his emotions churn in the Force like the waves crashing on Ahch-To.

“Where’s Unkar Plutt now?” he asked quietly.

Rey grinned and raised herself up to look at him. His lovely mouth was set in a hard angry line, his dark eyes burning.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said, kissing his cheek and ear and jaw. He threaded his fingers through her hair as her hand moved down his body.

“I can’t believe the connection hasn’t broken yet,” she murmured as he kissed the underside of her chin.

“Maybe we’re learning how to control it.”

“I hope so,” she said, stroking him, “I want you at least one more time before you go.”

 

There were no windows in the cabin, but Rey knew that morning was coming. The handful of porgs from Ahch-To which had taken up residence in the _Falcon_ could be heard welcoming the dawn, their strange cat-like calls echoing through the ship. Rey stretched beneath her covers, grinning helplessly, feeling as limp and well-used as a child’s beloved doll. At some point after _one more time_ they had finally fallen asleep, and she had been unsurprised to find herself alone when she woke. Even if they were learning to control the connection, she didn’t suppose it was the kind of thing they could sustain while unconscious. The loneliness of her uncrowded bunk this morning was tempered significantly by the knowledge that it had all been real, and while there were no marks from his teeth, no bruises from his fingertips, no seed swimming inside of her, she could still feel him all the same. 

_Ben…_

Unbidden, Rey again found herself remembering their battle in Snoke’s throne room; the dizzying elation that they had won, the certainty that she had saved him, and then…

She shook her head. She couldn’t let herself think about that now, and yet…

Tears gathered in her eyes, rolling down behind her ears and into her hair. Even if he loved her, even if he was ready to turn from the darkness, it was too much to hope that they could both make it out of this war alive.

Wasn’t it?

 

~

 

It did not require a great leap of logic for Leia to conclude that the Knights of Ren had tracked them to Jelucan. Two of the eight Jelucani tribesmen who had volunteered to go into the adjoining valleys as lookouts had not yet made their morning reports to the Resistance hideout, either because they were dead or too imperiled to risk making contact.

Every report she had received from her embedded agents suggested that the Knights were not and had never been officially connected to the hierarchy of the First Order. Their primary allegiance was to their master, and their lethal efficiency in battle suggested Force sensitivity. Intelligence gathered by the Resistance clearly indicated that the Knights of Ren functioned as her son’s personal task force, operating in almost total secrecy to do the jobs which no sensible leader would dirty their own hands with. By the time she discovered the scope of the Knights’ current mandate it would likely be too late to do anything about it. Leia didn’t want to retreat before their allies could rendezvous with them, and she certainly didn’t want to leave the Jelucani vulnerable when the First Order came knocking. Her only hope at the moment was that the Knights had simply been instructed to observe and collect information, and that this window of time would be enough for the Resistance to work out what its next steps would be. 

Given the gravity and uncertainty of her situation, the breakfast currently spread out in front of Leia by their generous hosts was deeply comforting but also somewhat absurd. In recognition of her status Ciraen, the village matriarch, had placed a cushion on the tree stump outside her dwelling for Leia to sit on and had brought out her finest glazed earthenware dish laden with sliced fruit, a kind of savory mash made from the red-kerneled vegetables they had just finished harvesting, and two round black eggs. Being the lifelong diplomat that she was, Leia received the meal with poised ease and genuine gratitude, then discreetly made note of how the other villagers were approaching similar fare to make sure she didn’t accidentally stumble into some kind of cultural faux pas. The items she was most curious about were the eggs, and from her observations surmised that one was meant to cleave away the top of the shell with a shucking knife and drink down the contents in one hearty draught. She guessed that this must provide some restorative effect, because the only people she saw drinking eggs this morning were those who had clearly overindulged at the harvest festival the night before. 

Welcoming a distraction from her thoughts, Leia couldn’t help but smile at the casual, open way of life here. Even at this early hour children played and ran from house to house as though all of the inhabitants were one extended family, and several couples were emerging at their campfires half-clothed or arbitrarily wrapped in patchwork bed coverings, hair tousled as they exchanged secretive, satisfied smiles with each other. Leia was reminded again that this was how peace should look, how it _would_ look, someday, for the whole galaxy. She was eating her breakfast and musing somewhat reluctantly on her own memories of being young and pleasantly tousled in the morning, when she suddenly felt her entire being come to life as though she had been struck by lightning. 

Ben was _here_.

She could feel him in the Force, his signature as unmistakable as her own heartbeat, and she almost dropped her plate from her knees, carefully setting it on the ground next to her with shaking hands as she looked around the village, scanning the fields and the sky and trying to focus, to locate the feeling more precisely. It was coming from behind her and she turned, not quite able to catch her breath-

But he was not there.

Beyond the village she could see the entrance to the mine, villagers and Resistance soldiers milling around as they went about their morning duties, and Rey among them, coming down from the foothills where the _Falcon_ was docked-

_Rey._

Leia blinked, feeling her brows come together in confusion. She wasn’t losing her mind; it was Ben’s Force signature. Emanating from Rey like a beacon in the darkness. The young woman was wearing her usual battle-ready clothes, hair secured away from her face, lightsaber at her belt, but there was something different about her today. She didn’t seem fully present in her surroundings, as though she was going through the physical motions while her mind remained contentedly occupied elsewhere.

Leia blinked, stunned as an idea presented itself to her.

 _But that’s not possible,_ she told herself. _You’re just getting distracted by all of the hormones flying around this morning._ However, the thought continued to take shape in her mind. Something _powerful_ had compelled Rey to throw herself into the jaws of the First Order, and it was clear that she never would have divulged the secret of the Force bond if Poe hadn’t dragged it from her. As Leia watched, Rey was approached by one of the villagers, who was no doubt offering her breakfast. The girl’s face brightened as she smiled in acceptance of the hospitality, a slight flush in her cheeks.

Completely forgetting her own half-eaten meal, Leia thought back to what Rey had told them about the nature of the Force bond. If she and Ben could see and hear each other so clearly, was it beyond the realm of possibility that they could also touch? And if they could touch, that they could make love? The idea was improbable to the point of farce, the implications potentially disastrous, but the more Leia allowed it to develop in her mind the more certain she became. Against all reason Rey had joined with the Supreme Leader of the First Order and now bore his Force signature, impressed upon her like a royal seal. Over the years Leia had learned how to swear in almost every language she encountered, and could not have identified the provenance of the oath which she muttered now.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben begins to put his plan into motion, Rey receives an enticing challenge, and an unexpected visitor forces Leia to make a momentous decision.

_The Quence Sector_

 

Kylo Ren didn’t know what to do with himself, and he knew that he couldn’t wholly attribute this current sense of disorientation to his lack of sleep the night before.

_The night before…_

He still couldn’t quite believe it. That he had been allowed to touch her. That she had _wanted_ him to. As he donned his uniform and made himself a strong cup of caf, it almost felt as though he had gained a new sense, like he could suddenly hear with his eyes or breathe through his skin, a boundless _open_ feeling in his chest which was filled with…

Silence.

And fear.

Both of these had already been there, of course. He had felt them growing ever since Snoke died, when the kingdom of webs he had spun in Kylo’s mind had suddenly been blown away in one rupturing breath. Without Snoke’s malevolent presence hunched over his soul, constantly seeking to invade and command, Ben’s inner world was so much bigger than he had ever realized, and silent. Terrifyingly silent. For the first time in his life there was no one to examine him, no one to direct and hold him to account but himself, and in this quantum shift he was finally beginning to recognize what it was that _he_ wanted. 

When he had refrained from killing Hux on the bridge in front of everyone, the decision had been his. Withdrawing the Stormtroopers, retreating on Utapau, keeping the Knights’ latest intelligence to himself, beginning the letter to his mother, going to Rey’s bed…every decision was his alone. 

He was free.

And he was afraid.

After so many years of hardening himself, of severing every bond as definitively as possible, things mattered again and he could no longer afford to be rash. The wrong move now might lead to Rey’s death, to his mother’s death, to the death of this new independence he was discovering within himself.

The gleaming black corridors of his Super Star Destroyer hummed with activity as precise and regimented as the mechanisms of any machine. The ship was practically a world unto itself, fully self-sufficient with its own manufacturing, economy and workforce. It represented new frontiers of technology and infrastructure which the galaxy had been working towards for millenia, and it was his to command. The First Order could be whatever he wanted it to be. 

With a renewed sense of purpose he strode through the ship to his throne room, silently acknowledging the salutes and bows of those he passed, hands clenched in a mixture of anxiety and anticipation. Several things needed to be done now, quickly and with as much secrecy as possible. He needed to secure a clean ship. He needed to lay a false trail.

He needed to get to Jelucan.

 

~

 

_Jelucan_

 

The mercenaries from Nar Kreeta arrived later that day in two hulking cruisers which looked as though they had been welded together from the battered remains of at least twenty others, mounted with an undeniably impressive array of cannons. While the Jelucani villagers gathered to watch the arrival, they kept their distance and the children were not permitted to run free in welcome. There were twenty-one fighters in total, two units of ten commanded by the leader, a man named Fritz whose massive souped-up blaster seemed more like a permanent mechanical limb than a weapon he carried. Their first night on Jelucan was spent in deep tactical conversation with Leia, the Resistance officers, and a handful of village warriors who had offered their services. It wasn’t until the next day that Rey had occasion to interact with them at all.

It was mid-morning, the weather more crisp and temperate than they’d experienced thus far, and she was practicing with her lightsaber on an outcropping of rock just above the where the _Falcon_ was docked. She had detached the sabers and was working through her positions, trying to adjust to the oddness of wielding with her non-dominant hand. Once she was able to confidently complete a sequence she ignited the blades and tried it again, thrilling to the way the sabers hummed and crackled in her hands. 

“Are you the Jedi then?”

She started, almost dropping the sabers, and turned towards the voice which had called out to her. Fritz and eight of the other mercenaries were standing near the _Falcon_ , looking up at her appraisingly. All of them had patched and dented armor which they never seemed to take off, their waists girded with utility belts and weapons holstered to every limb. Fritz had spoken and he went on, chewing the end of a golden stalk. 

“The one that took out Snoke?”

Rey turned off her sabers and put them back together, the magnetic interlock snapping them in place.

“That’s right,” she said.

He lifted his eyebrows, looking amused and impressed. At least twenty years older than any of his company, his skin had the look of a desert dweller, browned by the sun and worn smooth by sand with a multitude of blue tattoos picked out on his neck and hands.

“Plenty of us’ve always dreamed of fighting a Jedi, isn’t that right?” He glanced over at his fellows, who smiled and nodded in agreement. 

“You get a chance to spar with anyone but yourself?” Asked another mercenary, this one a woman with pale green skin and a wild mass of purple curls.

“Not usually,” Rey replied as Chewie emerged from beneath the _Falcon_ , clutching a heavy wrench the length of her arm. The mercenaries seemed unfazed by his appearance and the green-skinned woman gave Rey a cocky smile.

“Well we won’t hold back if you don’t hold back. How many of us do you reckon you can take at once?”

Rey put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes, assessing. As aggressive as they were she certainly wasn’t intimidated by them, and it was clear that the challenge was being made in a spirit of rough playfulness rather than malevolence. It also sounded like fun. She bent down and picked up her staff, securing it across her back before coming down from the rocks and pretending to size each of them up in turn.

“Let’s say five,” she said, turning to Fritz, “Weapons?”

He was at least as tall as Ben, broad-shouldered with yellow eyes, and shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he considered the question. A few Resistance members nearby had stopped to watch the exchange, brows furrowed in curiosity.

“Sticks and knives,” Fritz said, glancing pointedly at the lightsaber clipped to Rey’s belt, “I’m guessing that’s not a sparring weapon.”

“Not if you want to stay in one piece,” she replied easily, which earned appreciative chuckles as Fritz and four of the other mercenaries began selecting their weapons and casting the rest onto the grass. Rey handed her blaster and lightsaber to Chewie, whose encouragement was tempered by a distinct tone of gruff indulgence. Their small crowd of spectators had grown by the time Rey’s challengers gathered in a circle around her, and she could hear Finn give an enthusiastic whoop, clapping his hands.

“Go _Rey!_ You’re all gonna be sore in the morning!”

Rey held her staff at the ready in front of her, poised lightly on the balls of her feet as she breathed deep, feeling the Force hum around her. Fritz, the green-skinned woman, and three other men were all suspended in anticipation for a moment, then Rey heard the first rush of movement come up from behind on her left. She spun around and the ring of steel on steel echoed through the air as her staff met the downward arc of Fritz’s long blade. She could feel at once that he led with his right and was much stronger than she was, so rather than pushing him up and away she dipped low and came up again on his right, delivering a swift hard blow just beneath his shoulder guard which made him step back with a rueful grimacing smile as one of the other men charged forward.

Even though the battle in Snoke’s throne room seemed to have happened a lifetime ago, Rey felt herself slip back into the rhythms of fighting at once, and sparring with mercenaries was nothing compared to the sheer terror and desperation she had experienced aboard the _Supremacy_. Her body responded with relish, muscles stretching eagerly as she ducked and twisted, twirling her staff and bringing it down again and again. True to their word the mercenaries were not holding back and Rey experienced a satisfying rush of adrenaline each time they managed to land a blow on her, but those moments were few and far between, and she could feel their aggravation increasing each time they pulled themselves up from the ground. As though acquiescing to some unspoken agreement they stopped taking turns attacking, and Rey felt something inside of her shift in response, her body propelled through and by the Force while her mind remained steady.

It wasn’t difficult to anticipate their movements, or to hover above the tumultuous storm of their emotions. An infinitesimal change in the air told her that a swift blow was coming to her shins and she drove her staff hard into the churned muddy grass, kicking out from it, the sole of her boot cracking squarely into the attacker’s unprotected face. The second she touched the ground her staff was whipping in the opposite direction, taking out one, then another who’d tried to attack from behind. The Force was white-hot now, coiled like a spring in her gut, the strain of it almost painful, and without thinking she abruptly planted her feet and _howled_. The spring released inside of her and there was a tremendous crunching _thud_ as all five of the mercenaries were suddenly driven into the ground as though they’d been dropped from the top of the mountain.

Rey closed her eyes in the stillness that followed, breathing deep and loving the taste of the air, of the energy rippling like fresh cool water through every cell of her body. She felt herself sway a little as the world righted itself once more, and when she opened her eyes again the crystalline serenity of the Force evaporated.

The modest crowd which had gathered to watch the fight had tripled; Rey felt as though every person on the planet was staring at her, and none of them seemed impressed or exultant. Finn looked as though he was rooted to the spot in alarm, Rose was covering her mouth, and for the very first time Rey saw a flicker of undisguised fear in Poe’s eyes. A strangled sound at her feet made her realize that the friendly mercenaries who’d wanted to spar with her were still being pinned to the ground by the Force. Mouth turning sour with guilt Rey imagined them being free, and their bodies went limp with groans of pain as they began to move again.

“I’m sorry-” she began as she helped one of the men to his feet. To her surprise, even though his nose was broken and the lower half of his face was drenched in blood, he shrugged off her hands and grinned.

“Nothin’ to be sorry about.”

“Best scrap I’ve had in ages,” Fritz agreed, pulling a loosened tooth from his mouth and clapping her on the back. “Fair spoils,” he added, placing the tooth in her hand with a wink.

“We fought a Jedi and lived to tell the tale!” The wild-haired woman crowed, raising her half-staff above her head and provoking some nervous laughter and scattered applause from the crowd. Rey could feel the tension around them dissipating as people began to drift back to the duties they’d abandoned, and soon enough Poe could be heard ordering the rotation of guards outside the mine. 

Rey’s palms and fingers were raw from handling her staff and she could feel sore spots bruising across her body, but otherwise she was completely unscathed. Fritz and the other mercenaries were already heading back to their cruisers, presumably to tend their injuries, jostling each other all the way with boasts and laughter. Chewie had come to her side, holding out her blaster and lightsaber, his head tilted inquisitively, and she felt a sudden overwhelming urge to hug him, but refrained. Once she had taken back her weapons, however, he hugged her, and she was enveloped in the strong odors of grease and musty fur.

“Thanks Chewie,” she murmured.

In the distance she gradually became aware of some kind of heightened activity, and as she and Chewie separated they saw that Finn and Rose had gone to join other Resistance members who were huddling around the dark open mouth of the mine and talking animatedly. Curious and relieved to no longer be the center of attention, Rey jogged over to them with Chewie loping along after her.

“Hey, what’s going on?” She asked Finn and Rose.

They started, turning to look at her, and there was a brief but intensely awkward silence between the four of them before Finn cleared his throat and answered.

“A lookout at the other end of the valley’s intercepted a droid heading our way.”

Rey pulled her chin back, uncertain that she’d heard him correctly.

“A droid?”

“It said that it has a message for General Organa,” Rose added, “She’s ordered the lookouts to stand down and let it come to us.”

“Do they know who sent it?” Rey asked.

“Apparently it wouldn’t say,” Finn said, his expression grim, “but my money’s on the First Order.”

Rose looked up at him, her expression troubled and sympathetic, but before she could say anything the voice of a Resistance lieutenant rang out above their heads, ordering everyone into the mine. It was rapidly communicated that they would determine whether the droid posed a threat from behind the fortified steel door. The Jelucani were instructed to either bunker down with them or stay out of sight in their homes, and Fritz immediately volunteered his fighters to stand guard outside even though two of them were still bleeding.

Days on Jelucan were twice as long as those on Utapau, and being sealed in the mine did nothing to alleviate the claustrophobic tedium of that afternoon. They had been in similar situations so often now that people quickly fell into familiar patterns. Those with vital jobs to do, like the radar techs monitoring the droid’s progress and scanning for ships, seemed energized enough, while those without took the opportunity to sleep, their backs against the rough cave walls, or stared numbly into space while holding their blasters at the ready. Through it all the tides of fear and whispered speculation pushed and pulled at them relentlessly. For her part Rey spent the interminable hours trying to ignore the unnerved glances being cast her way and missing Ben so much it hurt. 

Evening was just beginning to fall when commlinks started coming alive with the voices of those outside, all eagerly reporting that the droid had finally made it to the village ( _“It must have your exact coordinates; it’s heading straight for the mine.”_ ) Leia, Muersen and D’Acy emerged from their unofficial counsel room, immediately rousing everyone to attention, and Poe went to join C3PO where he stood by the closed door, whirring diligently. 

“You picking up anything?” Poe asked.

“Nothing but the standard components and interface processes of a TX-341 maintenance droid, Captain,” C-3PO responded succinctly. As Poe turned his eyes fell on Rey and he paused, his expression inscrutable.

“How about you? The Force have anything to say about this?”

Rey tried not to look self-conscious or resentful as heads suddenly turned in her direction but suspected that she wasn’t fooling anyone. What did he imagine the Force was going to do? Whisper in her ear that the droid was a bomb? She shook her head, trying to project an air of confidence.

“I don’t sense a trap.”

Poe gave her a measured nod before turning back to Leia, who had stepped forward, her hands tightening in anxiety at her sides in a way that reminded Rey irresistibly of her son.

“Open the door,” Leia said, her voice steady and decisive as always. The command was relayed and she took her position, standing tall with her head held high as though preparing to receive a respected ambassador. Rey took her lightsaber from her belt and held it down at her side, unsure of what she was readying herself for. Poe and a handful of soldiers waited as well, their blasters pointed at the growing rectangle of amber light as the door rose up into the stone of the mine. A small boxy droid, which wasn’t much bigger than BB-8, rolled in obediently on two omni-treads which were clotted with grass and rich dark Jelucani soil. 

“State your business here,” Poe commanded, stepping forward with his blaster still trained on the droid.

“ _I am TX-341_ ,” came the stilted, robotic voice, “ _I have been sent as an envoy to General Leia Organa to deliver an important message._ ”

“What message?” Poe asked, his blaster humming quietly as he readied the trigger. The droid hesitated, what small amount of computational capability it had struggling with the question.

“ _Forgive me,_ ” it said, “ _the message is for General Leia Organa. You do not match the image and vocal data for General Leia Organa._ ”

“I am General Organa,” said Leia, approaching TX-341 and gesturing for Poe and the others to lower their weapons, “I wish to receive this message.”

The droid’s head turned in her direction as she spoke and there was a mechanized whirring sound as it processed what she had said.

“ _Greetings, General Leia Organa,_ ” the droid said in the same flat voice, “ _Please accept this message from the Supreme Leader._ ”

Even though the name ‘Kylo Ren’ hadn’t been spoken it rang in the tense silence of the cave and Rey’s stomach twisted with a mixture of pleasure and dread. A port on the side of the droid’s body slid open (Poe aimed his blaster again) and a multi-jointed robotic limb was extended, clutching a scroll of butter-colored paper in its claw. Rey was close enough to see Leia stiffen at the sight of it, her regal poise faltering. She hesitated before reaching out to take the scroll from the droid and Rey suddenly felt the Force pulling her attention to TX-341 with bewildering insistence. Once the scroll was safely in Leia’s hands, the mechanical arm withdrew into the droid’s body.

“ _My mission is now complete,_ ” it said, and there was a much more comprehensive series of hums, beeps, and whirs as TX-341 settled into a resting position, its central lens going dark. All of them stared at it, uncertain, until a second later the droid came back to life, launching into a circuitous reboot process as Leia carefully unrolled the paper in her hands.

“ _Greetings,_ ” the droid declared, its head turning to address them, “ _I am a TX-341 maintenance droid, at your service._ ”

“A full systems wipe,” Rose murmured.

“To keep us from scraping the data,” Poe said, looking disappointed but not surprised.

“It says here,” Leia began, then stopped and cleared her throat before going on, “It says that the droid is a gift in good faith.”

“That is a very considerate gesture,” C-3PO said, bustling forward happily, “We can certainly use your help, TX-341.”

“Don’t get too excited,” Poe said, putting a hand on the droid’s golden chest plate, “We still need to make sure it hasn’t been tampered with, bugged.”

“I can do it,” Rey heard herself say, boldly stepping forward, “I’ve taken apart almost every TX model there is.”

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Rose’s head turn towards her with a look of shrewd interest and Rey hoped she looked sufficiently nonchalant and innocent. 

“Alright,” Poe said after a moment, “just be careful and let me know if you find anything.”

“Of course.”

Rey chanced a glance at Leia, but the older woman was still absorbed in the paper. Desperately curious to know what it said but still feeling the tug of the Force, Rey turned to TX-341 and prompted it to follow her. Equipped with one of the ubiquitous toolboxes the Resistance hauled from hideout to hideout, Rey retreated to one of the makeshift storage rooms off of the main cave and powered up a small generator for the industrial work lamp crudely mounted to the rough stone ceiling. As an older model maintenance droid TX-341 had about as much sentience as a speeder, but Rey still experienced a small twinge of sympathy as its head turned towards her.

“I’m just going to do a quick checkup,” she said, kneeling beside it, “then you’ll be good to go.”

Once the droid had been turned off she pried its head open, aware suddenly that she was taking greater care with TX-341 than she normally would have. Pausing in her task she sat back on her heels for a moment, staring at the droid.

“It’s because you came from him,” she murmured to herself, simultaneously perplexed and amused.

The inside of the droid’s head showed no signs of compromise or surveillance; all chips and wires were accounted for and seemed to be in good working order. Taking the head off completely, Rey turned next to the droid’s large square body. The beauty of the machine, she thought, was that it was so straightforward and unfussy. After a few good turns with a screwdriver the top panel came off like a lid, and as she pulled it away Rey gasped.

The droid was full of flowers.

Its main storage compartment, which normally would have contained tools or supplies waiting to be delivered, was occupied by a bundle of purple five-point flowers with silvery blue leaves the color of twilight. Rey had seen flowers since leaving Jakku, but the experience still made her heart leap. The wealth of flowers humbled her; that such exquisite beauty could come into being all by itself with no thought of praise or recognition, compelled to exist simply for the sake of existing, was incredible. 

Carefully, Rey reached into the droid and lifted out the bouquet. Up close she saw that while the petals were a deep rich purple, this color gradated to an intense red-orange, like a tiny glowing ember in the center of each flower. From these embers delicate stamens curled upwards, their glossy white stalks supporting heads dark with sticky pollen. The smell was completely foreign and wonderful, almost reminding her of the heady Jelucani liquor they’d been served by their hosts. She could feel that the stems of the flowers were bound together by some kind of fabric which turned out to be black leather, pinned in place. Rey released the pin and pulled the fabric away.

It was a glove.

Rey laughed out loud, picturing Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the galaxy, picking these flowers, tying them together with his own glove, and taking apart his diplomatic envoy to send them to her. The scenario was almost too surreal to believe.

_How did he know that I would volunteer to take apart the droid? And where did he get the flowers?_

Her breath hitched painfully in hope and trepidation.

 _Is he here on Jelucan?_

Casting through the toolbox she found a roll of yellow bonding tape to secure the flowers with and set them carefully back inside of TX-341. Unable to stop herself, Rey pressed the glove to her face, fervently grateful that no one was there to observe her as she kissed the palm of it, breathing in the smell of the leather. It was far too big for her when she tried it on, and she was reminded of an archaic custom she’d heard about once, where lovers exchanged objects as symbols of their affection. She smiled.

_He gave me his glove._

The whole thing made her feel very young and foolish but she was too happy to care. She decided to leave the flowers inside of TX-341 for the time being; once she had vouched for the droid to the others she would find an excuse to bring it to the _Falcon_ and retrieve the bouquet. The glove, however, she couldn’t bear to part with, so she pinned it around her wrist and fastened her leather gauntlet over it. 

In the main cavern the mercenaries and villagers had flocked through the mine’s entrance, gathered around Leia in rapt silence. Hoping to sneak in unnoticed, Rey flinched when Leia stopped speaking mid-sentence and looked directly at her across the crowd.

“Did the droid check out?”

Everyone turned towards her and Rey willed herself to not blush.

“Yes, General. I couldn’t find any sign of tampering.”

Leia nodded, her gaze appraising but neutral. Poe on the other hand had clearly been told something troubling. His hands were on his hips, his expression forbidding as he stared at the floor. 

“I’ve just been telling the others-” Leia said, holding up the paper, “The Supreme Leader wishes to meet with me here on Jelucan to discuss the terms of a cease-fire. He wants to meet tomorrow at midday and he’s provided coordinates. I can bring whatever security I feel is necessary, but he’s given his word that he’ll come alone.”

As collected as Leia was, Rey knew that she wasn’t the only one who could hear the undercurrent of emotion in the older woman’s voice, or see the hint of a melancholy smile in the corner of her mouth as she looked down at the paper. Even Poe softened, his head inclined towards her in deferential respect.

“It could still be a trap, General. You’ll be making yourself vulnerable.”

“What do you think Rey?” 

For a split second Rey didn’t realize she’d been spoken to. Leia had asked the question without looking up and the attention of the room was suddenly on her again. She could feel the warmth of Ben’s glove wrapped around her wrist and experienced an irrational moment of panic that someone would be able to smell the flowers hidden in the droid at her side. 

“It could be a risk worth taking,” she said, the strength of her voice surprising her, “The First Order has found us twice since Crait and Kylo Ren hasn’t ordered an attack. Even now, when he knows exactly where we are, he hasn’t even brought his fleet. For the sake of peace I think we should at least consider the possibility that he isn’t another Snoke and hear what he has to say.”

There was an uneasy silence when she’d finished speaking as the members of the Resistance looked between her and Leia, waiting.

“That’s a good point,” Poe said, folding his arms across his chest, “but I have my doubts as to whether ‘the sake of peace’ is your main concern right now, Rey.”

Several people glanced at each other nervously. Finn was frowning at Poe in confusion and Leia was holding very still, watching Rey. 

“What do you mean?” Rey asked, feeling sweat bead in the creases of her palms. Poe’s dark eyes were half-lidded and there was a sardonic twist to his mouth, his stance calm as though he’d been anticipating this moment for a long time.

“When you say that he might not be another Snoke, are you saying that as a Jedi, or as someone who’s in love with him?”

No one was looking at their captain anymore and the expressions on their faces had gone from tense discomfort to outright shock and disbelief as they stared at Rey. Heart pounding, she lifted her chin, never taking her eyes off of Poe.

“Both, actually,” she said.

The silence of the room broke in a cascade of gasps and whispers; the soldiers standing closest to Rey drew back from her as though she’d ignited her lightsaber. From where he leaned casually against a far wall Fritz’s eyebrows rose and he looked pleasantly surprised by how interesting this adventure was turning out to be. Across from Rey Poe’s dark humor had cooled into accusation and disappointment. Defiant anger was hot in the pit of her stomach as she stood her ground, but out of the corner of her eye she could see the growing look of horror on Finn’s face and it saddened her. _How was I supposed to tell you?_

The sound of Leia clearing her throat called them all back to attention as she deftly rolled up her son’s letter.

“I’m going to the meeting.”

“I’ll come with you, General,” Poe said.

“No,” she put a hand on his arm, “I need you here if something goes wrong. Rey’s coming with me.”

A muscle tightened in Poe’s jaw.

“Are you sure?” He asked quietly. Leia drew herself up to her full height, her authority unassailable.

“Yes, Captain Dameron, I’m sure,” she looked around the room at the rest of them, “Return to your tasks and be sure to get plenty of rest tonight. You’ll report back here at fifth call for your orders.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL THE FLUFFY REYLO NONSENSE. Seriously though, I had a lot of fun with this chapter, even though it's still pretty rough. Scrappy Rey is a favorite and I love the Hutt Space mercenaries :D This might be a personal thing, but I also just REALLY needed to give Rey some flowers. In TFA when we first get to see the inside of her AT-AT there's that quick little shot of, like, dry dead weeds and a flower made out of pipe cleaners or something in a tin can and it kills me every time. I also enjoyed the challenge of working through Ben's development without rushing or giving too much away. Idk, we'll see if it's successful...


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn confronts Rey, Leia opens up, and Ben pays a visit.

_Jelucan_

 

As Rey emerged from the mine with TX-341 trundling along at her heels she could hear the overlapping voices of the Resistance growing louder behind her.

“Did she really just-?”

“The general _trusts_ her?”

“...with _Kylo Ren_...”

“Doesn’t that make her a traitor?”

“ _Rey_ , Rey wait!”

Finn. It was tempting to ignore him, to just get to the _Falcon_ with TX-341 as fast as she could and shut everyone out, but she knew that would only make her look more guilty. Gritting her teeth, she forced herself to stop and turn around, waiting in the cooling shade of the foothills as evening began to fall around them. Finn was approaching her hesitantly with Rose close behind and she could feel alarm crackling through him.

“What was that back there?” He asked, clearly struggling to keep his voice calm, “What’s going on?”

Rey’s heart sank. He was still trying to give her the benefit of a doubt. 

“You heard the general,” she said, her voice sounding stiff in her own ears, “I’m going with her tomorrow to discuss a cease-fire.”

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about, you-”

Words seemed to fail him and he shook his head, holding up his hands in supplication.

“You’re just not thinking straight, okay? He got into your head and now he’s trying to bring you to the Dark Side, that’s all this is.”

“Finn-” Rose began.

“ _No_ ,” Finn said without looking back at her, “Kylo Ren is _evil_ , Rey. He’s a monster.”

Rey stared at him in silence as arguments formed and reformed themselves in her mind. The fact that he doubted her sanity wasn’t surprising, she’d doubted it herself after all, but how could she make him understand? And how much of an explanation did she really owe him?

“He’s no more of a monster than I am, or you for that matter,” she said finally. Finn blinked at her in disbelief, opening his mouth to protest, but she went on. “Snoke was in his head for _years_ , twisting him to the Dark Side. You should know what that’s like, Finn. You broke free from the First Order and became your own person, so why can’t he?”

She didn’t want to sound as though she was pleading with him, but she could hear it in her voice all the same. Rose was watching her with a mixture of uncertainty and solicitude, and it was partially to her that Rey made her appeal.

“Do we really want our enemies to be our enemies forever?”

“They stop being our enemies when we defeat them,” Finn said at once, his tone unyielding, and Rey recoiled from it in spite of herself.

“But if that’s the only option how are we any better?” She asked. “What gives us the right to win?”

Before Finn or Rose could respond a low weary voice spoke up from behind them.

“Couldn’t help but overhear the philosophical debate.”

In the waning light Poe seemed to emerge from the shadows, Chewie at his side, and Rey felt her fists tighten at once as she swallowed back her anger. She wanted to ask Poe how he had known, how he had seen through her, but she was also afraid of what his answer might be. The deep cynicism in his eyes and the way he stood with his hands on his hips made him look lifetimes older than he really was. 

“It’s nice that you have so much faith in people, Rey, it really is, but most of us can’t afford to think that way,” he said.

“You barely know me,” she replied at once and he lowered his head, looking thoughtful.

“You’re right,” he said after a moment, “I apologize. I knew Ben Solo. You’ve known him a couple months and you say you’re in love. Fine. I was there when he was _born_. I saw what he did to his family and to _everyone_ who ever cared about him.”

Even though he hadn’t raised his voice there was something raw and painful in it that stilled Rey as though he had shouted at her. A glance at Finn and Rose told her that they were just as surprised as she was. Chewie growled gently, placing his shaggy hand on Poe’s shoulder. The younger man seemed to regain some of his equilibrium, his posture straightening, and cleared his throat before addressing Rey again.

“You’ll be reporting directly to the general at dawn. The plan right now is that you’ll be piloting one of those Jelucani mountain hoppers to the rendezvous point, so you’ll wanna look over it beforehand.”

Rey nodded, feeling drained suddenly. It was almost fully dark now, the valley settling into sleep as tiny insects flickered like sparks rising up from the grass. Rose gave her a hug as they said goodnight, but Finn seemed as though he could barely bring himself to look at her. 

 

~

 

Leia hesitated before knocking on the cabin door. It was still painful to be aboard the _Millennium Falcon_ knowing that she wouldn’t hear Han’s deep voice cursing some malfunction or other. This grief sharpened as the door slid open and Rey stepped aside so that she could enter, but it was also complicated by Leia’s heightened Force awareness of the young woman. Rey was wearing her nightclothes; a long tunic and knee-length leggings, her dark brown hair hanging in loose waves around her face, and Leia could sense Ben as powerfully as though he were in the room with them. 

“I’m sorry to disturb you so late-Chewie let me in,” Leia said, fumbling her words slightly.

“It’s alright; I wasn’t sleeping.”

The girl flushed as she said it, averting her eyes, and Leia couldn’t help glancing at the unmade bunk in the corner. 

“I was hoping we could talk, if that’s alright?”

“Of course,” Rey said, casting about for a moment as though there were a chair to offer. Leia motioned to one of the many battered black storage crates which scraped across the floor towards her, and settled herself upon it. Rey hesitated, then perched on the edge of the bunk, and Leia experienced a moment of rueful amusement, imagining the look on the girl’s face if she were to find out that Ben had been conceived right where she sat.

“It seems very cruel that life doesn’t always inform us of our mistakes as we’re making them,” Leia said slowly, turning her cane in her hands, “The biggest mistake I made with my son was not being honest with him, and I know that’s partly because I wasn’t honest with myself. It’s not always an easy thing to see yourself clearly, is it?” 

Rey returned her smile gently.

“No, it isn’t.”

“Especially when it means accepting the reality of your worst fears,” Leia went on, “My father was...terrible, and I needed so desperately to believe that I wasn’t like him, that my son wouldn’t...be like him,” she paused, impatiently brushing away her tears, “I just should have talked to him. Let him know that I understood, at least a little, what he must have been going through.”

She forced herself to stop, her breath quavering, and carefully withdrew Ben’s letter from the pocket of her cloak. Rey’s eyes brightened with interest at once, and Leia passed the scroll to her, watching tenderness suffuse her features as she handled it.

“I’ve tried to pay more attention,” Leia said, “to ‘search my feelings’ as Luke would say, and now...” she met Rey’s eyes, reluctant to give voice to the deepest longing of her heart, “The Force is telling me something that I’m scared to believe.”

“I think you can believe it,” Rey said quietly, as though the two of them were sharing a wonderful secret. Leia swallowed and leaned forward, taking the young woman’s hand.

“ _Why?_ Please tell me.”

Haltingly, with sweet earnestness, Rey told Leia about a rainy night on Ahch-To when she and Ben had confided in each other, when they had touched each other through the Force for the first time and Rey had seen the shape of his future.

“I thought it had been lost,” she said, tears starting in her eyes, “when he wouldn’t leave with me after killing Snoke, but now...I think maybe I just got ahead of myself. What I saw wasn’t meant to happen when I thought it would, the way I thought it would, but I still see it. I see that future coming closer every day.”

 

~

 

Nights on Jelucan were as long as the days, and Rey had no real sense of how late it was as she stood at the top of the _Falcon’s_ ramp, watching Leia Organa walk back to the mine in the lush grassy darkness. From the other side of the ship she could hear Chewie snoring, a prodigious rumble which was practically equal to an ancillary engine, and smiled to herself as she returned to her cabin, then gasped as the door slid open. 

Ben was standing in the center of the small cluttered room. 

 

~

 

Rey looked exactly as she had the last time they appeared to each other (his heart was already pounding - _the last time_...) the fabric of her tunic so thin that he could see the delicate twin points of her breasts beneath it. Her face lit up in surprise and pleasure at the sight of him and she rushed into his arms, burying her face in his chest for a moment before pulling back to look up at him.

“For second I thought that you might actually be _here_ ,” she said, a mixture of disappointment and longing in her voice, “But you are on Jelucan, aren’t you?”

He nodded, wishing he had the words to say how good it felt to hold her. It was more than desire. He felt _complete_ , and it seemed as though all of the physical acts between them were ultimately clumsy attempts to express this larger, inexpressible mystery.

“I guessed when I found the flowers,” she went on, tilting her head towards the bouquet where it sat in a re-purposed oil canister on a crate next to her bunk. “Thank you, by the way.”

“You’re welcome,” he managed, and she moved in again, arms tight around his waist. “Is everything alright?” He asked, and felt her nod.

“Just a long day, that’s all,” she murmured, “Missing you.”

 _Missing you._ It still didn’t seem real. He lowered his head to kiss the wonderful warm curve between her neck and shoulder and she sighed, arching against him. It wasn’t until she pulled her tunic over her head that he noticed his glove pinned around her wrist.

“Thank you for that too,” she said, blushing a little as he touched it, “I haven’t been able to bring myself to take it off.”

Soon she was sitting on the edge of the bunk, holding his hand as she looked up at him in invitation. Watching her lie back, Ben was momentarily overwhelmed by a mixture of humility and heady conquest, sharpened by the most urgent hunger he had ever known, as though an endless banquet had been laid before a starving man and he had no idea where to begin. 

Her breasts were silken-soft as flowers, topped with pink pearls, and he watched her face as he took one into his mouth, loving the way he could feel each sigh and whimper building before it ever reached her lips. His hand found the crown of her heat; a soft brown bird with its wings folded close, curved perfectly to the palm of his hand and stirring at his touch. He could feel her heart beating there. 

_You were my last secret,_ he thought, _Buried so deep that not even Snoke could catch more than a glimpse. If he had seen, if he had understood, he would have known better than to ever take his eyes off of me._

 

~

 

“Don’t fall asleep,” Rey murmured, nudging the bridge of her nose against Ben’s cheekbone until his eyes opened again.

“I’m awake,” he said, his voice warm and low. His arm tightened around her, his fingertips running back and forth between her shoulder blades. There was a thin tube of backup lighting which ran along the outside of the bunk’s alcove, and in the darkness of the cabin it emitted a dim blue ghost light just bright enough for her to see the edges of their bodies. 

“Ben?”

“What?”

Rey swallowed, hesitating.

“If we don’t make it-”

“What?”

“If we don’t make it out of the war-”

He pulled back a little to look at her, fully alert now. 

“We will.”

Rey blinked at him, so taken aback by his certainty that what she had been about to say died on her lips. 

“How do you know that?” she asked instead.

His brow furrowed a little as though he didn’t quite understand the question.

“Rey, look at everything the Force has done to bring us here,” he paused, his expression softening, “I think it’s been pointing me to you for years, maybe my whole life.”

Rey smiled at him even though she felt an equal urge to cry.

“Why would it do that?”

“Because you and I are meant for something. Something bigger than this,” his eyes searched hers, his gaze intense, “I know you feel it.”

He was right, Rey realized. She’d doubted it, denied it, been terrified of it, but she had never not felt it. She had felt it the moment she first saw him. The colors between them had shifted time and again; enemies, equals, confidants, lovers, but that recognition had never wavered. He was hers, as she was his.

“I do,” she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up throwing me a bit of a curve ball - originally I had Leia and Rey talking about the Napkin Bombing of the New Republic Senate (shout out to "Bloodline" by Claudia Gray!) but as I was editing and checking Wookipedia for canon accuracy it occurred to me that the conversation didn't quite fit - that this moment in the story wanted something bigger/more profound, so I struggled for awhile to Keep It Real until I had something that felt right. And THEN I had a truly embarrassing half-written sex scene to contend with, which involved tossing most of it out, so I apologize if it's kinda weak. Whatever! ONWARDS!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Formal wear, space politics, and other high-altitude activities.

Dawn found Rey doing laps through the foothills on a battered but reasonably well-maintained Jelucani speeder. It was something she had noticed and respected immediately about their hosts; the time and care they devoted to their possessions and resources, no matter how humble. When she brought the vehicle to a stop in front of the mine it gave a fitful kick, emitting a belch of black smoke, and she was crouched beneath it feeling her way around the transmission lines when the door to the mine opened with a deep, creaking rumble. 

“Good morning!” Rose called, waving, and Rey returned the greeting self-consciously. The young woman walked out to the speeder, looking over it with an appraising eye.

“Will she be able to make the trip?”

“I think so,” Rey said, carefully loosening the clamp on a bundle of wires and feeling the whole machine ease in response, “Not the smoothest ride, but she’ll get it done.”

“How about you?” Rose asked, her voice a little softer, and Rey looked up at her, considering the question.

“I’ll be okay, too.”

“Good.” 

The two of them were quiet and a smile began to curl in the corners of Rose’s mouth.

“Is that what you’re planning to wear?”

Rey blinked and glanced down at her clothes, which had been clean an hour before.

“I might change again...before we head out.”

Rose grinned and half-turned, inclining her head towards the mine.

“Come on.”

They walked quickly through the shifting wakefulness of the Resistance hideout; fighters who had been on night duty dragging themselves to their bunks as others emerged, still trying to wake up. Rey appreciated their relative indifference as Rose led her to a small side room where provisions were being stored. The crates of dull packaged military rations had never looked more unappetizing next to the baskets of fresh produce which the Jelucani kept bringing them, and Rey palmed a velvety golden fruit as they began sifting through stacks of donated clothes and linens.

“You might help negotiate intergalactic peace today,” Rose was saying, “if that’s not a special occasion I don’t know what is.”

Rey smiled, hesitantly running her fingertips over fabric so fine that the idea of people actually wearing it seemed impossible. Her eyes caught on a shade of green as delicate and glowing as budding leaves and she pulled the garment free, experiencing an unfamiliar rush of joy as the long gossamer dress unspooled to the floor. Rose looked up, her eyes brightening.

“That’s perfect,” she said, holding out the skirt in admiration, “Are you going to wear it?”

Rey thought about it, wondering why the idea felt so much more daring than flying up a mountain in an unshielded speeder.

“I think I will,” she said.

The dress was a kind of strapless sheath, fitting snugly under Rey’s arms and then loosening as it flowed down over her hips. A second, paler length of fabric lay across her collarbones, its ends draped over her shoulders. This item had presented a brief challenge until Rose had discovered clips, tiny as insect claws, which the Jelucani women used to keep it in place. Fully assembled the outfit moved around Rey like a gentle breeze, and made her arm coverings seem wholly out of place, like dirty bandages around a fresh gleaming blade. Rey hesitated, then pulled them off and let them fall to the ground with the rest of her dirty clothes. The crisscrossing scars stood out against her skin even in the mine’s dim artificial light, and she tried to quiet the anxious patter of her heart as she waited. A moment later when Rose happened to glance over at her there was a pause, the briefest, as her dark eyes scanned Rey’s arms, and then it had passed. 

Minutes later Rey was sitting on one of the ration crates while Rose moved around her, combing back her hair and braiding it with a dexterity which made Rey suspect that this was something Rose had done for her sister. In the other woman’s attentive silence Rey sensed her loss, but also a certain amount of comfort, and for that she was grateful.

A rustle at the room’s entrance made them look up and Rose quickly secured the braid she had been working on so that Rey could stand in acknowledgement of General Organa. Leia was wearing a deep violet dress with a sweeping cloak, her white-streaked hair elegantly smoothed back under a gleaming silver headpiece, and Rey was glad that for once she wouldn’t look like a rough commoner standing next to her. The older woman came to a halt, her mouth falling open when she saw Rey, who couldn’t resist turning in a little circle to show off the dress, but stopped when she saw the odd look on Leia’s face.

“Will this be alright, General?” She asked, faltering, “I can wear something else if-if you’d rather…”

“No-,” Leia said quickly, then smiled and shook her head, “I mean, you look lovely Rey.”

It seemed as though she wanted to say more, but instead folded her hands over the head of her cane and gave them an approving nod. 

“As soon as you’re ready we’ll begin preparing for our departure.”

 

With Leia and Rey on board there wasn’t much room in the speeder for anything else, but that didn’t stop Poe from insisting on their preparedness with everything from emergency rations and supplies should they be stranded on the mountain overnight, to a cache of powerful compact grenades. After a cursory glance at Rey he had addressed all of his questions and concerns to Leia while the rest of the Resistance watched from the mine’s entrance, their expressions guarded and doubtful. Finn wasn’t among them. Chewie hovered around the craft as Rey started it up, his short little yelps and the way he kept tilting his head telling her that he was worried about them.

“It’s going to be alright Chewie,” Leia said, taking his hand with a wink, “Just another day in the trash compactor.”

For all the preparation and anxiety which had preceded it, the journey itself took less than two hours. The antiquated navigation system beeped obligingly with the coordinates Ben had given them, and the life support sensors flashed yellow precisely when it was time to seal the cockpit and turn on the oxygen. Punishing mountain winds and the speeder's noisy engine made conversation almost impossible, but every now and then their eyes would meet, and Rey felt anew the bond they had cemented the previous day. Neither of them needed to explain or deny or defend their hopes for this meeting.

As the vehicle began to crest the final ridge Rey spotted their destination at once; a circular stone structure rising up from the highest point of the mountain’s summit. She scanned the surrounding area but could see no sign of a ship, and the speeder’s radar was silent.

“It might be cloaked,” Leia said, more to herself than Rey as her eyes moved over the cliffs, “Or hidden further down the mountain. The scanner on this thing is ancient.” 

Feeling almost sick to her stomach with fear and excitement, Rey parked the speeder on a small plateau downhill from the structure and they each took a Sustair capsule to prevent altitude sickness. Rey helped Leia disembark and gave the older woman her arm as they began to climb the steep path under the bright midday sun. Lightsaber held at the ready, Rey tried to keep her senses open for any hint of a trap, wondering whether the green dress had been a mistake as she struggled to avoid tripping on it. As they approached the ancient meeting place Rey saw that it had two layers; an outer shell of stacked stone columns and a solid inner wall with narrow evenly-spaced windows. The whole edifice, including the roof, was covered in dense crawling vines with leaves the color of twilight and purple five-point blooms with glowing ember hearts.

As they entered the outer shell of the building Rey saw him immediately through one of the narrow windows; a tall broad figure all in black, standing at attention, his face turned away from them. Leia was still holding Rey’s arm and her grip tightened as they walked around the inner room, catching a glimpse of him through each window. As they entered Rey felt as though her heart had left her body completely and flown away like a bird on the thin mountain air. Ben’s eyes widened a little as they darted over her and an unmistakable flush crept into his cheeks. It was clear that he had taken great care with his appearance; clean-shaven, boots polished, leathers pristine, hair indecently attractive. As he quickly averted his gaze from her to Leia, however, he suddenly looked as young and vulnerable as Rey had ever seen him. His hands were bare. 

_Ben._

“Leader Ren,” Leia said calmly, her voice clear and crisp as she let go of Rey’s arm and straightened to her full height, “I greet you with honor.”

Ben dipped forward smoothly into a half-bow, one hand held behind his back and the other placed over his heart.

“General Organa,” he said in the same official tone, “I receive you with honor.” 

He stood to the side slightly, indicating the round stone table at the center of the room where two heavy wooden chairs sat across from each other. 

“If it pleases you to be seated.”

“It does, thank you,” said Leia, walking past him towards the farthest seat. Before she could reach out for it, however, Ben moved around the other side of the table and pulled it out for her. For a split second Rey thought she saw the older woman’s careful demeanor falter, but she recovered at once, arranging her skirts and cloak around her with great dignity as she sat. 

Rey had never encountered royalty outside of children’s stories, but watching Leia and Ben she was suddenly struck by the knowledge that _they_ were royalty. Leia Organa had been a princess of Alderaan, her mother the queen of Naboo; Ben had been set apart from people like Rey at birth. This awareness did nothing to alleviate the unreality of the moment as she went to stand a few steps behind and to the right of Leia while Ben took his seat across the table from them. Rey could feel his eyes following her before he returned his attention to his mother.

“As I mentioned in my letter,” Ben began, “I’ve invited you here to discuss the terms of a cease-fire so that the Resistance and the First Order can negotiate a resolution to this war.”

“If the terms are agreeable, the Resistance and our allies would welcome this development,” Leia paused, her shoulders sinking, “None of us wanted this to happen again.”

There was a brief silence in which mother and son regarded each other before Ben looked away, lacing his fingers together on the table. The back of Rey’s neck warmed as she thought of all the things those hands had done to her not twelve hours before.

“General Organa,” he began, “The history of the galaxy since the rise of the Empire has been one of repeated mistakes.”

Leia sat up a little straighter but said nothing. 

“Systems become divided between control and cooperation, dictatorship and democracy,” Ben went on, and Rey sensed how much time he had spent practicing this, “One side achieves dominance and the other rises up in opposition until one of them is defeated, and the cycle begins again. The Republic, the Empire, the Rebellion, the New Republic, the First Order, and now the Resistance. If you succeed in defeating the First Order, the Second Order will begin to grow as soon as you start trying to put things back together.”

“I agree,” Leia said quietly, “Do you have a proposal?”

Ben reached into an inner pocket of his cloak and withdrew a slim silver data pad. He touched the screen a few times to call up the information he wanted and then held the pad out to Leia. From where she was standing Rey could make out little more than blocks of type in small characters, a document which seemed to be quite lengthy as Leia slowly began to scroll through it.

“This is-” Leia’s voice caught and she stopped to clear her throat, “Where did you get this?”

The corners of Ben’s mouth tightened and there was a new reticence in his voice.

“From the data archives on Chandrila. Once the Hosnian system was selected as a potential target for Starkiller there was a covert effort to smuggle as much data out of Hanna City as possible,” he hesitated, “Your records were a priority.”

Leia nodded wordlessly, still lost in thought, and as Ben went on Rey began to feel a kind of restrained excitement in him which took her completely by surprise.

“I believe this proposal, your proposal, has the potential to be something new for the galaxy; a balance between the best of the Empire and the best of the Republic.”

Leia shook her head distractedly.

“Ben, I wrote this when I was _twenty-five…_ ” 

Absorbed as she was in the data pad, Leia didn’t seem to be aware of what she had just said, but Rey was. Ben visibly flinched at the sound of his name, but not in repulsion or anger. The look that came to his face was as familiar to Rey as her own heartbeat; desperate, water-seeking. 

“I know,” he said softly, then, coming back to himself, “I updated some of the technical details and made suggestions for amendments.”

“I never showed it to anyone,” Leia went on, smiling a little, “I knew I would either be shunned or laughed at for even contemplating such a thing.”

An echo of her smile flickered onto Ben’s face like reflected light.

“Do you think they would have the same reactions now?” he asked.

“Most definitely,” Leia said, “Only now I would be dismissed as senile rather than naive.” 

“I thought of that,” Ben said, gesturing towards the data pad, “It would be dangerous to have a public transfer of power. An outright defeat of one side or the other will create-”

“A power vacuum,” Leia finished, and he nodded. The amusement had faded from her expression and she was frowning now, her tone more careful. “You’re proposing...what exactly are you proposing?”

Ben took a deep breath, looking nervous again, and Rey wished she could tell him how well this was going.

“Most of the galaxy believes that the Resistance has already been defeated. You’ll continue to lie low, sending up a flare once in awhile, and eventually the Resistance will appear to fade away. At the same time, we’ll begin making changes to the First Order using my authority and the administrative infrastructure already in place. To the galaxy it’ll look as though the First Order is reforming itself, building something that actually works with as little upheaval as possible.”

Leia sat very still during and after this speech, her expression unreadable while Ben waited. For her part Rey was beginning to feel dumbstruck as the scope of what he had said sank into her mind.

“So your plan,” Leia began slowly, “Is that we lie to the entire galaxy and introduce a new system of government without giving anyone the chance to cast so much as a single vote for or against it.”

“Yes," Ben said, without a hint of irony, "If we get it right, it won’t matter that we had to lie to make it happen.”

With perfect clarity Rey could imagine Han making just such an argument while surrounded by bounty hunters with a dozen blasters trained on him. The thought almost made her smile until she remembered Ben’s lightsaber igniting through his father’s heart.

“What about the Stormtrooper program?” Leia said after a moment, and Ben nodded at once as though he’d been expecting the question.

“It would become a volunteer force, adult recruitment only, with fair compensation and accountability. Your officers and I would work together to draw up the new terms for the program.” 

“Is that why you recalled the units after Crait?” Leia asked suddenly, “In preparation for this?”

Ben nodded again.

“I suspended the program in order to familiarize myself with its operation and how General Hux might try to use the troopers against me. Seizing control from him will be critical.”

A rush of wind suddenly buffeted the summit, making their loose clothes toss and pull wildly as the room filled with the smell of the purple flowers.

“Where does General Hux think you are right now?” Leia asked once things had settled.

“The Dathomir system, following up on a lead as to where the Resistance might have escaped after Utapau,” he replied easily, but Rey thought she heard a tense edge in his confidence, “My agents are in coordination between Dathomir, the fleet and Jelucan to maintain the illusion and cover my tracks once I’ve returned to my flagship.”

“Your flagship,” Leia echoed quietly, watching him, then, “What happens to the current troopers and cadets if you’re able to depose Hux? What happens to the untold number of children who’ve been kidnapped by the First Order?”

The accusation in her voice was unmistakable, but so was the disappointment and grief. Ben lowered his eyes, absorbing it. 

“Current troopers will be presented with official contracts of service once the new program is ready to be implemented; they’ll be given the choice to continue serving or to leave and start lives of their own. As for the children,” he paused, meeting his mother’s hard gaze, “Extensive records have been kept documenting where they were taken from and under what conditions. I’ve drawn up a process for either returning them to their families or ensuring their welfare in other ways if reunion isn’t possible.”

Rey stared at him. It was one thing to lie in Ben’s arms at night and allow herself to believe that he was gradually becoming more amenable to the idea of change, but it was something else entirely to hear him lay out actual plans which he had apparently been working on for some time. She remembered him holding out his hand to her in the wreckage of Snoke’s throne room, entreating her to join him so that they could rule the galaxy together and bring a new order to it. What would have happened if she had just asked him to explain what he meant? Was this why she hadn’t been able to pull Luke’s lightsaber away from him?

Aside from that, Rey was ashamed to realize that she had never truly stopped to think about what would happen to the First Order children. Finn had told her what had been done to him, to all of them, and she had been furious and heartbroken on his behalf, but the reality of actually trying to fix something so horrific...she couldn’t imagine where she would start, where anyone would. But Ben had. 

Rey had never been in love before. In her heart of hearts she had begun to accept the idea that she might not be capable of it at all.

 _I’m so glad it was you,_ she thought. _In spite of everything, I’m so glad._

The silence lengthened between the three of them. Leia had regained her composure and held up the data pad.

“How much time will you give us to review your proposal?”

“How much time do you want?”

Leia blinked at him in genuine surprise, her hand dropping a little.

“A month,” she said, a hint of uncertainty in her voice, as though preparing for him to rescind the offer.

“Done,” Ben said. Leia lowered the data pad to the table.

“A month,” Leia clarified, still sounding doubtful, “during which the Resistance and the First Order will agree to maintain a cessation of all direct and covert hostilities towards one another?”

“Yes,” Ben said.

Another pause.

“Do you have the treaty?” Leia asked.

Ben got to his feet and Leia followed suit, gripping the head of her cane as he pulled a black pen from his cloak pocket, along with a scroll of the same butter-colored paper he’d written his invitation on. In a steady, solemn voice he read through the complete terms of the cease-fire before pressing the paper flat on the table so that he could sign his name at the bottom. Once this had been done he stepped aside so that Leia could read the agreement for herself. 

As she leaned forward over the paper Ben and Rey’s eyes met for the first time since she’d arrived, and it was all Rey could do to keep herself still. She felt as though every atom of her body was about to burst into song. They smiled at each other almost shyly, as though testing whether or not this was permitted, and much too soon Leia had finished reading and was signing her name beneath her son’s. Straightening up, she turned and held out the pen to Rey, who looked between them in momentary confusion.

“It requires the signature of a witness as well,” Leia said, her expression enigmatic.

Rey took the pen, surprised to find that it was not made of metal but heavy black stone, and stepped up to the table, her eyes moving over the confident lines and elegant curves of their signatures:

_Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order_

_General Leia Organa, Leader of the Galactic Resistance and Last Princess of Alderaan_

Holding the paper in place Rey gripped the strange heavy pen and wrote, as carefully as she could:

_Rey_

Feeling their eyes on her, she hesitated for a fraction of a second before adding-

_Jedi_

She placed the pen on the table next to the paper and took a step back, unsure of what to do with herself and overwhelmingly aware that Ben was less than four feet away from her. If she reached out now she would actually _touch_ him. 

The ink had dried on the treaty and Leia was rolling the paper back into a tight scroll, which she then slid into her cloak pocket before holding out her hand to Ben. The moment he took it, however, Rey saw the older woman’s resolve start to shimmer and melt away like a mirage. The handshake barely lasted a second before Leia released it, trembling, her eyes bright with tears. Ben took a step towards her, his face falling, but she waved a hand to stop him, sniffing and appearing to collect herself before she addressed him again. 

“On behalf of the Resistance and her allies, I thank you again for this audience, Leader Ren.”

Ben bowed once more, his voice rough.

“It was my honor...General Organa.”

Leia stared at him while he did this, as though she was trying to make up for every moment that she had longed to look at him and been unable to. Finally, however, she inclined her head in farewell, and when she turned to Rey it was with a pointed, knowing look.

“I expect you to meet me at the speeder in no more than fifteen minutes,” she said.

Rey barely had time to blush before the older woman took up her cane and strode out of the chamber. Startled, Rey and Ben watched her go, then turned towards each other.

To Rey’s surprise and delight Ben was the first to move, stepping forward and gathering her into his arms with an urgency that made her gasp, then whimper as an onslaught of new sensations overtook her. _By all the stars in the galaxy,_ she thought, _Force-touch was just a shadow of the real thing._ The texture of his skin against hers, his warmth and solidity, his smell, his strong hands spreading over her back, the fact that when she tightened her fingers in his hair it was real, unbearably, wonderfully _real_. She wrapped her arms around his neck when he kissed her and felt her feet leave the ground. A whole new universe of possibilities suddenly opened in Rey’s mind, its stars numbering all the ways she wanted him, all the ways she could _have_ him. She pulled back and slid her hand between his legs. He was already hard against her palm and a sweet shudder went through her as she began to undo the fastening of his pants. Ben’s eyes widened, an incredulous smile coming to his beautifully kiss-swollen lips.

“She said fifteen minutes,” Rey grinned, “We have time.” 

Once she’d hastily pushed down her underclothes Rey lifted herself onto the ancient stone table, not caring one bit about the delicacy of the fabric as she pulled her long green skirt back to her hips and shivered in the cold mountain air, opening her legs and pulling him to her. Aching for his skin, she unzipped his tunic and almost tore his black undershirt in half before he took it off for her with a grin.

“I’ll be sure not to tear _your_ clothes,” he said as she covered his torso with kisses, “since you have to ride home with my mother.”

Rey laughed.

“I appreciate that.”

“You should,” his lips were against her ear, the low hum of his voice reverberating through her marrow, “When you told me you would be here you didn’t mention that you’d be wearing _this_.”

Rey closed her eyes, reminding herself to breathe.

“It was a last-minute thing.”

She put an arm around his neck, their foreheads touching as he entered her, and it was so _good_ that for a moment she thought she might die from it, her fingernails digging into his shoulder as she cried out. 

“Are you alright?” he asked.

Rey nodded and kissed him, fighting the thought that this chance might never come again. She needed to feel more, taste more, needed _everything_ , and the knowledge of their precious minutes crumbling away filled her with defiance. She lay back, bracing her heels against the edge of the table, and reveled in the joy of watching him work in her, lost in need as his black hair tumbled around his face. She could feel his climax approaching when he began to slow down, letting out a ragged breath as he started to withdraw from her and she sat forward, reaching for his hips.

“No-”

He shook his head.

“I shouldn’t-”

“I want you to,” she panted, pulling him back, “ _Please,_ I want your child inside of me.”

A delicious groan escaped him as his hands moved up her thighs, cupping her hips. Rey wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him, battling his miraculous tongue with her own, and came almost as soon as he started fucking her again, pulling at him until she felt his release and his head fell against her shoulder.

They clung together like that in the room on top of the mountain, out of space and time within each other, trembling in the wind, until the world began to come back to them, steadying with their breath and the touch of their hands. Ben lifted his head from Rey’s shoulder but didn’t let go, holding her to him as though trying to absorb her into his own body. 

_Is this the Dark side?_ Rey thought, tucking her face into the crook of his neck. _This desire to possess?_

“I don’t want to leave you,” he said, and Rey felt tears come to her eyes. Her underclothes were still lying on the ground at his feet, her legs wrapped around his hips, holding him inside of her. The idea of withdrawing any part of her body from his was physically painful, much less boarding separate vessels and putting even more distance between them.

“We have to,” she said, “It’s not time for me to come with you yet.”

He pulled back to look at her, and in this light, for the first time, Rey could see that his eyes were almost copper when the sun hit them just right. 

“Will you though? Someday?” he asked, no longer trying to hide the hope in his voice.

Rey kissed him.

“Yes,” she murmured, then kissed him again. “Yes,” and one final time, “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, what a BEAST. So many revisions, so much talking, and every time I tried to pare it down I thought of something else to add. Like, let's reunite Ben and Leia, attempt to SOLVE STAR WARS POLITICS, lay the groundwork for the story's climax, then make a hard pivot to Reylo sex! LOL I hope some of it works cuz it was also REALLY fun to write and I love it XD
> 
> Also! Rey is showing her scars and Ben is showing his hands! M E T A P H O R 
> 
> ALSO Also! Rey signing her name is one of my favorite things in this whole fic <3 <3 <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben confronts his past, and a scavenger girl makes a tremendous discovery.

_Jelucan_

 

The cloaked and de-bugged shuttle which Ben had commandeered for the trip was minimal in the extreme, but he couldn't have cared less as he emerged from the outdated bather unit and began to change into the less formal battle-ready clothes he’d brought with him. 

Rey had said yes.

His mother believed in his vision, had signed the treaty...and Rey had said yes.

The realization of all his hopes and plans felt more precariously balanced than ever, but for the first time, almost against his will, he was beginning to trust it. If his mother could forgive him, if Rey could love him…

 _Anything_ was possible.

He had just finished pulling on his boots when the Force began to pulse and spark behind him, and he knew at once that it wasn’t Rey. The signature was familiar though, and he took a deep breath, trying to decide how he was going to approach the encounter.

“Hello, Ben.”

He turned around. The ghost of Luke Skywalker glowed with a hazy blue-white light in the dimness of the ship, looking steady and strong in his ceremonial Jedi robes.

“Hello,” Ben said.

Even with Snoke cleared away from his mind, the rush of anger he felt at the sight of his uncle was immediate, visceral, and oddly compounded by the fact that there was no point to it now. Luke was dead. Ben clenched his fists in his pockets, hoping to project the same kind of cool indifference he employed with Hux.

“Have you been keeping tabs on me or do I need to bring you up to speed on everything?”

Luke folded his arms across his chest and the corner of his mouth twitched with the suggestion of a wry smile.

“I think I’ve got the general idea.”

“Good. Saves time.”

“So,” Luke said, his eyebrows lifting as he shuffled his feet a little, “It would seem that your plans for galactic domination have changed a bit since the last time we spoke.”

In spite of his deep desire to kick the old man’s teeth in, Ben managed to keep his voice even.

“I suppose they have.”

His uncle stared at him for a moment, his expression thoughtful.

“Would it be a waste of time to tell you how proud I am of you?”

“Yes,” Ben said, unable to keep an edge of venom from creeping into his voice, “None of this was for your approval.”

Luke tilted his head to the side a little.

“Whose was it for then? Rey?”

“Partly,” Ben said before he could stop himself. He could feel Luke watching him and concentrated on keeping his expression unaffected. 

“Your mystery woman,” Luke said, and Ben could hear a mixture of amusement and wonder in his voice, “The one you kept having Force visions of when you were a youngling. That was Rey, wasn’t it?”

Ben said nothing. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Luke shake his head.

“I should have known when I started training her,” he paused, “How long _have_ you been in love with her?”

Ben shifted uncomfortably.

“I don’t remember anymore.”

“Do I at least get credit for not launching into some big lecture about abstinence and ‘the Jedi Way’?”

“Is that why you’re here?” Ben snapped, rounding on him, “For me to apologize and praise your wisdom while you pat yourself on the back?”

The raillery faded from Luke’s face.

“No, it’s not.” He lowered his head, and Ben could see him considering his words before he spoke, “I wanted to explain why I came to you on Crait the way I did.”

“To distract me so the Resistance could escape, mystery solved.”

“That was part of it,” Luke said, and Ben was gratified to see a flash of impatience in him, “I had a duty to help them, and I knew that if I came to Crait in person you would have killed me.”

 _I would have,_ Ben thought. _Over and over and over again._

A heaviness seemed to settle over Luke as though he had heard this.

“I needed to apologize to you. And after all the mistakes I made...I didn’t want my death to be on your soul,” he looked up, his tone unexpectedly gentle, “But I think you already knew that.”

They were quiet. Ben couldn’t bring himself to look at him. 

“I wish you could have known your grandfather,” Luke said finally, “the way he was at the very end. Did Snoke ever tell you?”

Ben swallowed, jolted by the abrupt change of topic. 

“He said that Darth Vader failed himself and turned traitor against the Emperor.”

“Did he explain how that happened?”

It was harder now to appear indifferent.

“No, he didn’t.”

Luke took a few steps towards him. 

“I handed myself over to the Empire so that I could get close to Vader. So I could turn him,” he raised an eyebrow pointedly, “the same way your father and Rey tried to save you.”

Ben’s heartbeat spiked painfully at the mention of Han, but he remained still, waiting.

“The Emperor wanted us to fight, provoked and manipulated us against each other so that I would surrender to the Dark side, kill Vader, and either die or become his new apprentice. And I did give in,” Luke’s tone was insistent, his expression haunted, “I gave in to the Dark side with my father just like I did with you, barely managing to pull myself back at the last second. When I refused to finish Vader the Emperor tried to kill me, but Vader caught him up and threw him down the reactor shaft, sacrificing himself.”

He was standing right in front of Ben now, large watery eyes searching his nephew’s face.

“And that was not an act of weakness, Ben. It’s not weakness to change your mind, or to admit when you’re wrong. _Love_ is not a weakness. It’s the greatest strength you’ll ever have,” he paused, “I think if your grandfather were here he would want you to know that.”

“Why has he never appeared to me like this?” Ben asked, on the verge of losing his composure but unable to stop himself, “Is he not...part of the Force the way that you are?”

Luke pulled back slightly, and Ben knew that whatever his uncle said next wouldn’t be the whole truth.

“Everything is part of the Force. Nothing anyone does can change that,” Luke said slowly, and Ben could feel him weighing each word, “But sometimes...there’s work that needs to be done, work that the soul couldn’t finish in life, and the Force... _compels_ them to go on.”

Ben frowned.

“What do you mean?”

Luke didn't answer right away. Instead, hesitantly, he lifted his hands and placed them on Ben’s shoulders. The gesture was at once strange and intimately familiar. Ben couldn’t begin to calculate the number of times his uncle had placed his hands on his shoulders in just this way, always with the same look on his face; the need to communicate something so important that he had to make sure Ben was going to hold still and pay attention to it. 

_I will never forgive you,_ Ben thought. _I will never forgive you for promising to save me and then deciding I wasn’t worth it._

“I can’t tell you everything now,” Luke said, “I’m not sure whether I should be telling you any of it, especially since you seem to be finding your way all on your own.”

There was a kind of icy pressure on Ben’s shoulders as Luke gave them an emphatic squeeze, his smile tremulous. When it looked as though he was about to speak again, however, the holoreceptor on a nearby command console began to blink red. Feeling a little shaky, Ben detached himself from the ghost and went over to the console to call up the hologram. The Knight who bowed to him was disguised as a radar technician aboard the flagship and wore a respiration mask over their nose and mouth to disguise their voice. 

“Report,” Ben said.

“Master Ren, transport cruiser T-754 is being prepped for launch from Bay 34 at the command of General Hux. Departure time estimated at three hours. Orders have been issued for squadrons fifteen, sixteen, seventeen and eighteen to report to Bay 34.”

Ben’s jaw was so tight that it ached, his heart pounding in his ears.

“Where is he taking them?”

“The official notice says they're responding to a classified emergency situation and the flight manifest suggests fatal engagement. Destination information restricted to senior officers. However, one of these senior officers was heard to whisper _‘Dosuun’_ in a confused tone upon receiving the information.”

Ben nodded, thinking quickly.

“Excellent work. Assemble the others and secure the target. If I’m not there in two hours proceed with the evacuation. I’ll notify the sanctuary to expect you.”

The small holographic figure inclined its head once more.

“Yes, Master.”

“I take it that it’s time for you to go?” Luke asked once the holoreceptor had gone dark.

“It is,” Ben said, pulling on his gloves, “Hux is making his first move to overthrow me.”

“I won’t hold you up then,” Luke said, “But I would ask that you remember what I said. You will, won’t you?”

In spite of his haste, Ben paused to look at him, unable to deny the possibility that this could be the last time they ever spoke to each other. _In this life, anyway…_

“I will,” he said.

Unwilling to endure the look of warmth and gratitude on his uncle’s face, Ben turned and left for the cockpit.

 

~

 

 _Tell him, you did not,_ Yoda mused in Luke’s mind. _A wise decision that was._

“You think so?” Luke asked as he allowed himself to slip away from his nephew’s ship and into the humming web of the Force. His master made an approving _mmm_ sound, and Luke could picture him slowly nodding his wizened head.

_On prophecy, too much time has been spent. A new way we must find of trusting in the Force. Of trusting in people also._

_I think if I had told him, it would have distracted him too much from all that still needs to be done._

_Hard for you that was. Having spent so long seeking to uncover the great truth, to share it you must desire very much. Understandable that is. But as you said, finding the path for himself, Ben Solo at last seems to be._

_Rey will find it too, won’t she?_

_No doubt have I. As strands intertwine, a stronger rope they make. That prophecy long ago was made, and the source of our great folly it was, because too far from the truth we had allowed ourselves to fall. To bring true balance to the galaxy, never was it meant to be a Chosen One, but always-_

_A Chosen Two._

 

~

 

_Jakku, twenty years ago_

 

The woman named Alile had not fully regained her strength, but she and Colkie wouldn’t last much longer if they weren’t able to bring in more salvage. To his credit, Colkie had tried to deny this fact as he crouched beside her in their cave, insisting that she needed to rest. He had a way of being gentle when she was ill or in pain that tended to make her forgive his lack of gentleness at other times. _I’m lucky to have him,_ she reminded herself, pausing to rest her forehead against her walking stick as a feeling of bone-deep weariness passed through her like a ghost, stealing a piece of fire from her heart on its way.

“ _Ayanna kyber sala rey,_ ” she chanted to herself, stamping the stick into the sand three times to rekindle her spirit and ward off any other ghosts that might be around. She had walked further from the cave than she had meant to, mostly to prove that she could. Colkie was scavenging in the nearby ruins of an Imperial military transport. They both knew it was the wrong place for Alile to be in her condition. Other, rougher scavengers were there and she would not be as capable of defending herself if a fight broke out. It was safer for her to stick to the canyon and follow the cliffs, where she might be lucky enough to find a broken speeder, a deserted dwelling, or an unplundered corpse. Midday was at least three hours away and the air was pleasantly warm, like a soft bed, as opposed to the fierce burning that blistered skin from bone. The layers of thin sand-colored linen Alile wore kept her protected from the sun but did very little to relieve the heat. If she couldn’t find something worthwhile soon she would either be forced to return to the cave or seek shelter until the worst of it had passed. 

She was still learning this canyon; they had only been in their cave for a week or so after being forced from their last home. The crashed escape pod they had been living in was scooped up by one of the bigger salvage teams while they were at the outpost, leaving them with little more than the clothes on their backs and two packets of protein powder. Alile didn’t mind the cave; it attracted less attention and would be more difficult to steal. The theft had been harder on Colkie, who had come from one of the more civilized core planets, but Jakku was all Alile had ever known and to her it was beautiful in spite of its challenges.

The cliffs in morning were her favorite. As the day brightened she watched them turn from black to blue to purple to golden pink, and their sides were so smooth that she could run her hand over them for miles without chafing her skin. She had always felt a little sorry for people who dismissed Jakku as being colorless and desolate, not worth their time or attention. Sand was far from colorless, and Alile could spend hours quietly observing and contemplating the variations in grains of sand, thinking about all of the travelers who came and went, leaving behind these tiny pieces of other worlds. Had this speck of clear quartz with the tiniest mirror sliver at its heart been traveling across the galaxy for millennia to arrive here on her fingertip?

Alile blinked, her eyes catching a series of reddish brown markings on the smooth golden pink stone a few feet ahead of her. The designs were unfamiliar and she smiled in delight as she touched one, thinking them far lovelier than anything she saw printed on rusted metallic sheeting. The spirit which had moved this mark-maker had nothing to do with commerce or intimidation. Alile had taken a few more steps alongside the strange mural, wondering what it could mean, when she heard something that made her freeze, ears straining. Plenty of things in the desert could make a sound like that, she told herself. It was said that the right wind through a precise channel of rock could speak your own name to you. But when Alile heard it again there could be no doubt as to its source. Heart pounding, she followed the noise and found a narrow fissure in the cliff just wide enough for a grown man to maneuver through if he was careful, so it posed no obstacle whatsoever to a half-starved scavenger girl. 

“ _Ayanna kyber sala rey,_ ” Alile whispered again, tapping her stick on the ground three times and taking a deep breath as she entered the fissure. She had only gone ten steps when the passage opened into a grotto, and at its center was a naked whimpering infant lying in the basin of a smooth concave stone. Feeling weak again and oddly removed from her body, Alile leaned her staff against the nearest wall and went forward, stomach quaking with disbelief and fear. However, as soon as she knelt beside the rock she knew that the newborn, a girl, was not on the brink of death. Her tiny legs and arms moved insistently, her skin ruddy with life, and sensing Alile’s approach she opened her small elastic mouth and began to wail, a staccato, piteous sound which Alile felt like a blade being driven into her heart.

No longer capable of resisting, she unwound her outermost layer of linen, wrapping it snugly around the baby as she picked her up. The child fit perfectly into the crook of Alile’s arm and she sank down onto the stone, lost in wonder as she looked around them. The baby was clean and dry but there were no footprints, no bloodied birthing nest, no fire circle, no bones. A single opening high above them allowed pale diffuse light and Alile drew in a shaky breath as she took in the walls around her.

They were covered in the same reddish brown markings she’d seen outside, but these were even more intricate and beautiful, grouping together around one magnificent circular pattern the height of the grotto. Alile stared open-mouthed at it, then back down at the wholly improbable being in her arms. The little girl had a patch of dark silky hair on top of her head and lovely long eyelashes. Looking at her, Alile thought that there wasn’t a single imperfect thing about her. She turned her head towards the beat of Alile’s heart, her tiny pink mouth opening, seeking. Overwhelmed by grief and joy, Alile carefully held the baby with one arm so that she could push aside her tunic. 

Her breasts were still painfully full and Alile brought the little girl’s questing mouth to her nipple with an almost unbearable sense of guilt, but as the milk began to flow from her it was like a miracle. The child’s delicate eyebrows lifted in surprise and she began to suckle, her round little belly working hard. Alile didn’t realize she was crying until she wiped the tears away from her cheeks. As the baby drank Alile likewise reached down and unclipped the water canteen from her leather belt, unscrewing the lid and taking a careful, measured drink. Unbidden, the outside world began to creep back in around them and her heart sank. As certainly as she had ever known anything, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to put the child back down on the rock and leave without her, nor could she draw her knife and ease the little girl out of the harsh, beautiful life which neither of them had asked to be pushed into. _But Colkie…_

When she told him that she was going to have his child he hadn’t been happy, it was true. He'd gone away on his own for a few hours to wander and think under the bright full moons, but he had returned to the escape pod before dawn, pulling her into his arms with kisses and sweet words of comfort, assuring her that they would find a way to make it work. From that moment on he had been more attentive, patient, resilient and strong than she had ever seen in their two years together. Everything he did and said was centered around the fragile new life which would soon be joining them, and he spoke of this with excitement, but…

Alile had woken during their midday rest in the cool darkness of the cave knowing that the baby was gone. As though this knowledge made it real, the painful contractions had begun almost immediately afterwards, and Colkie had stayed by her side for the entire living nightmare as Alile’s body tightened around the remains of their child like a fist, pushing and bleeding until it felt as though there would be no end to it. She had lain in the cave for days afterwards, passing from sleep to wakefulness and back again in a delirium of sickness, tears and blood. When her fever finally broke and her stomach called out in hunger, Colkie was still by her side but their child was not. He had taken it away and buried it while she was lost inside of herself. Whenever she felt a surge of frustration or resentment towards him, she remembered that he had done that for her, spared her that last unendurable horror by taking it upon himself. He had respected her grief then and he respected it still, but…

She knew in her heart that he was not broken by the loss the way that she was. If she was being honest with herself, he probably hadn’t been broken by it at all. Whatever trauma he’d experienced was likely outweighed by relief. The two of them had come to a largely unspoken agreement that they would be careful from now on, that the death had been a lesson on their own limitations. What would Colkie say when she brought this baby, which was no blood of theirs, home? What would he do?

The little girl suddenly lost her grip on Alile’s nipple and began to cry again. Biting back a sob, Alile guided her back until she was able to latch once more, wiping away the milk from her chin with the edge of her swaddling. The light from the break at the top of the grotto told her that midday had arrived, giving her time to think about what she was going to do. She found herself looking at the strange markings on the walls again and contemplating the large central design before her. While its meaning was still incomprehensible she knew that it was important, that this place was important to someone she had never met and would never know. The knowledge moved her. Somehow, she and this child were here together, alive and strong, and that had to mean something.

“ _Ayanna kyber sala rey,_ ” Alile murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaahhhhh how much do I love this chapter? I can't even say. I didn't know Yoda was going to be in this story until pretty much the second before he started talking and oh my word I loved writing Yoda-speak. The way Alile's section unfolded was also pure magic and might be my proudest writing moment in this fic. Beyond her function of finding baby Rey I had no idea who this character was or what her life would look like when I started writing her, and she promptly broke my heart. Her little mantra was made up on the fly, but I imagine the translation being something like "the heart ( _ayanna_ ) of the crystal ( _kyber_ ) brings ( _sala_ ) light ( _rey_ )" :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A daring mission is launched, Poe reaches a crossroads, and Finn stops running.

_Jelucan_

 

“The Supreme Leader is _what_ now?”

Rose was almost sprinting down the dim passage ahead of Finn, turning her head to repeat herself, her voice breathless with excitement.

“Out in the field with his shuttle saying he needs to speak to the General right away!”

Finn abandoned the attempt to finish buttoning his shirt in order to keep up with her, fully awake now. _This is what I get for trying to take a nap,_ he thought. _You close your eyes for ten minutes and suddenly the world’s on fire._

The Resistance had been unprepared for Rey and General Organa to return unscathed from their meeting with Kylo Ren. Even more surprising was the news that the summit had gone _well_. Upon returning the General had told them that there would be a full meeting later that afternoon before retreating to a private room with her officers. Rey had gone straight to the _Falcon_ , head down as everyone stared after her and the flowing green dress.

Now the main chamber was alive with barely-contained weaponized chaos, radiating from the open entrance of the mine. Every other member of the Resistance had their blaster at the ready, and those without blasters were clutching wrenches, hammers, and rocks in their bare hands. Even at a distance the sight of a First Order ship was startling, its threat immediate and sharp as a bared fang. If it weren’t for the livestock and still-smoking cook fires, Finn would have guessed that the village was abandoned; there was no other sign of the Jelucani. A handful of Resistance fighters stood in formation near the shuttle, blasters trained on the tall dark figure which could only be Kylo Ren. With a strange jolt of fear and anger he realized that Rey was there too, wearing her familiar desert-colored clothes once more, looking as though she was trying to mediate. Finn swore under his breath. General Organa and Poe were standing at the entrance, their faces taut with anxiety as Rey turned and began running back to the mine, leaving Kylo Ren under the hopelessly outmatched Resistance guard. Finn shouldered his way through the crowd to meet her when she reached Leia.

“What is it?” The older woman asked quietly.

Rey glanced around them and, spotting Finn, motioned for him to come closer before she spoke, keeping her voice low.

“He says that General Hux is launching an attack against him, that he’s taken four Trooper squadrons and plans to strike a First Order training academy on Dosuun in less than three hours. He’s asking for ships and fighters willing to pose as First Order to help evacuate the students before Hux gets there.”

“We’ve never heard of an academy on Dosuun,” Leia said as both of them turned to Finn, who suddenly felt as though something dark had passed over him, like the shadow of a carrion bird. 

“General-” Poe began, but Leia held up a hand to silence him.

“Tell us about this training academy,” she said to Finn. 

“It...it’s one of the largest, maybe two hundred cadets, plus instructors and support personnel,” he paused, “It’s where I was.”

Leia stared at him in silence and he was startled by the undisguised doubt and fear in her eyes. She seemed to withdraw into herself for a moment before addressing Poe.

“Call the guard back.”

His head jerked slightly, as though a bug had flown too close to his ear, and he blinked at her in disbelief.

“General, you can’t believe he’s actually telling the _truth_.”

In one swift unerring movement, Leia plucked Poe’s commlink out of his hand and delivered the order into it as she strode to the middle of the crowd, drawing all attention to herself as she did so. 

“Thank you all for assembling so quickly,” she said, her voice carrying effortlessly to every corner of the chamber as she looked around at them. “Today a rare and profound opportunity has been presented to us. As most of you already know, earlier today I met with Kylo Ren. What most of you don’t know is that at this meeting he and I signed an official cease-fire treaty, an unprecedented first step towards peace for the galaxy.” 

There was a swell of surprise and confusion as she pulled a scroll of paper from her cloak and held it up, turning to make sure everyone got a chance to see it. Finn glanced over at Rey, who looked flushed but resolute as she stood at attention, her eyes fixed on the general. Leia went on. 

“Kylo Ren has now brought us a startling piece of intelligence in good faith. A large number of children at a First Order training academy on Dosuun are in danger from a rogue element within the First Order itself. Kylo Ren means to return these children to their families.” 

Disbelief rippled through the crowd, louder now, accompanied by an ominous undercurrent of derision. Poe looked increasingly as though he was witnessing a catastrophic avalanche that no one else could see. Leia raised her voice, forcing silence. 

“But first they need to be taken into protective custody to keep them from being used as hostages and bargaining pieces.” 

She paused, and again Finn saw a flash of fear. _All she must be thinking is mutiny_ , he thought, dread twisting low in his belly.

“I know this is sudden,” Leia said, “but I can’t afford to be gentle with you right now. I’m asking for volunteers, preferably those with combat experience, to go to Dosuun and help secure these children from the First Order.” She took a deep breath. “This mission needs to be off the ground in less than an hour.”

The mine all but erupted in a cacophony of objection as the general stood her ground, head held high. Rey stepped forward and Finn felt his heart drop into the dust.

“I volunteer, General Organa,” she said, her words almost lost beneath renewed exclamations. Finn clearly heard the word _traitor_ , and the faces around him seemed to blur. 

_Dosuun._

_I was never going back._

The shadow spread over him again, and its shape felt clearer this time. It wasn’t just the fear of being pulled back into the First Order, he realized. It was the fear that this slide had been inevitable all along. He’d been running ever since his defection, desperately, even blindly. He had told himself that it was for Rey; to protect her, save her, support her. As Finn stepped forward now, however, he had the alarming feeling that this wasn’t about Rey at all.

“I volunteer,” he said, grateful that his voice didn’t shake.

“I’ll come too,” Rose said, looking more calm and brave than any of them as she gestured to Finn, “We still have the First Order uniforms we stole from Snoke’s ship.”

A handful of other Resistance fighters stepped forward, looking frightened but bold, and although Leia smiled at them her gratitude was clearly strained. The mutinous current running through the crowd was still palpable; Poe was practically sparking where he stood.

“My crew goes with the Jedi,” Fritz said from beyond them, stepping away from the wall he’d been leaning against, his expression unexpectedly solemn, “Besides, it sounds like you could use some ships.”

“Are you sure?” Rey asked, looking startled. The mercenary winked at her, patting the cannon blaster propped casually on his hip.

“We didn’t come all this way to stand around in a cave.”

“General,” Commander D’Acy said carefully, her face permanently creased in worry, “Considering that we will still need to maintain your safety and the safety of the village, I don’t think we can spare further resources for this mission.”

“I agree, Commander. I believe this will be sufficient, and I thank all of you, I-” 

“ _No!_ ”

Poe’s voice cut across Leia’s as he stepped towards her, his dark eyes burning, fists clenched at his sides.

“General, this is _insane_. You can’t possibly think it’s a good idea to send half our firepower across the galaxy on a moment’s notice in two of our three ships-!”

“Poe-” Leia began, a warning note in her voice.

“ _Kylo Ren_ , a benevolent peacemaker? Have you _heard_ yourself? This could be the end of the Resistance as we know it and you’re throwing us right over the-!”

He had taken another step when Commander Muersen suddenly pulled his blaster, aiming it at Poe with a steady eye. Rey’s lightsaber was in her hand and the room had gone deadly silent. For a split second Poe looked as though he was ready to take them all on, but he didn’t move.

“That’s enough, Captain Dameron,” Leia said, and even though she appeared to be carved from stone, Finn could hear a tremor in her voice. “Unless you wish to be dismissed from your post, you will stand down.”

Poe lowered his head and gave a small nod before looking back up at her.

“In that case, consider me dismissed.”

With that, he turned and walked away, the crowd parting for him in stunned silence, and before Finn could fully comprehend what had just happened, Poe had disappeared down one of the mine’s twisting corridors. Spurred by a sudden panic which he couldn’t have explained, Finn went after him, ignoring calls from Rose and Rey as the new mission began to pull everyone back into its orbit. He found Poe in an almost-empty storeroom, facing the far wall with one hand on his hip and the other covering his mouth.

“Poe-”

At the sound of Finn’s voice Poe sniffed and shook his head, running his hands through his hair distractedly as he turned towards him.

“I’m sorry pal, it looks like this is the end of the road for you and me.”

“Don’t say that, look, I know things got a little crazy just now, but I’m sure you can take it back-”

Poe gave a tired, humorless laugh. Finn pressed on.

“Leia knows that you’re just worried about the Resistance, like we all are.”

Poe sighed and rolled his eyes, avoiding Finn’s gaze.

“It’s not just that,” he said slowly, “I think that...I don’t want Leia to be right. About Kylo Ren.”

“It doesn’t seem right to me either. It feels like he’s gonna get away with everything he’s done just because he’s saying what Leia and Rey want to hear,” Finn paused, “and even if he does mean it, there are some things that shouldn’t be forgiven so easily.”

Poe sniffed again and stood with his hands on his hips, head lowered.

“He killed my father.”

He said it so matter-of-factly that Finn wasn’t sure how to respond, and said the only thing he could think of.

“I’m sorry...what happened?”

Poe shrugged and looked up, his expression unreadable.

“I wasn’t there. You were.”

For a moment Finn stared at his friend in bewilderment, then understanding opened in his mind, the cold rush of it going straight to his marrow.

“ _Han,_ ” he whispered.

A muscle tightened in Poe’s rough unshaven jaw but he didn’t look away, and for the first time Finn saw something young and hurt move behind his dark eyes.

“You and Kylo Ren...are brothers?”

Poe exhaled, his shoulders sinking a little, and he looked exhausted.

“Half-brothers. When I was little Han would visit every now and then. I just thought he was a friend of my mother’s. But one day when I was four he came and brought me to the royal med center in Hanna City. Leia was propped up in bed in a room full of flowers. She put Ben in my arms and told me I was his big brother,” Poe paused, gaze unfocused as heaviness seemed to settle over him again, “On Chandrila they called it a ‘public secret’; everyone knew and no one said anything.”

Finn stared at him, not knowing what to say, and was about to reach out when a rush of footsteps sounded outside their chamber and Rose appeared, wearing her First Order uniform with Finn’s draped over her arm. 

“Finn, we-”

She stopped short when she saw Poe, looking between them awkwardly as a flush rose to her cheeks.

“Sorry, I-the cruisers are almost ready to take off, if...if you were still planning on coming?”

Finn turned back to his friend, who was standing with his feet planted and his shoulders straight, the confidence of his pose not quite reaching his eyes. Finn took a step towards him, but Poe stayed him with a look.

“Just come back,” he said quietly.

 

The throaty rumble of powerful engines filled the sweet green air outside the mine as Finn and Rose emerged. Kylo Ren’s ship was in takeoff position and Finn could imagine the Jelucani villagers watching with bated breath from their hiding places. He and Rose went to the nearest cruiser where Rey was standing at the top of the loading ramp, and her tense expression softened when she saw them.

“Thank you both again for coming,” she looked as though she wanted to say more, but instead motioned them inside, where a mixture of excited-looking mercenaries and anxious Resistance fighters were ready for takeoff. The layout of the ship was instantly familiar to Finn; a small cockpit and gunner nests attached to one big cargo hold where fighters would stand huddled together, ready to charge straight down the loading ramp and into a fight. There were a handful of seats and harnesses along either side of the hold, but Finn guessed they were only used for the injured or unconscious. Just below the ceiling was a grid of black iron bars that served as hand holds during flight. Otherwise the inside of the cruiser was cramped and dirty, every inch of wall space kitted out with weapon and supply storage.

“Finn, you’ll be with us in the cockpit,” Rey said, every eye following her as she squeezed through the press of bodies. Finn glanced back at Rose in time to see the uncertainty on her face, but she managed a reassuring smile and nodded to him, gamely reaching up to take hold of the iron grid.

In the cockpit the green-skinned mercenary, Suliz, was sitting in the pilot’s chair, her chaotic mass of purple curls wrestled away from her face into braids that ran like spines along her skull. The coordinates which Kylo Ren had apparently already given them had been entered into the nav system, and Rey did a quick comms test with the other cruiser as they began their ascent into the atmosphere. The journey through hyperspace only took a few minutes, but Finn felt every second of it hammer in his temples as he gripped the arms of his seat. He was so focused on keeping his own dread at bay that he didn’t notice Rey had turned in the copilot’s chair to look back at him until she spoke.

“Finn?”

He started and tried to reform his face into a look of calm preparedness.

“Yah?”

Rey hesitated, her loveliness provoking a brief pang of nostalgia in him as he remembered the beacon of inspiration she had once been in his mind. _Maybe that wasn’t fair,_ he thought. _She never needed me to be her hero._ Rey gave him small, almost shy smile.

“We’ve come a long way from escaping Jakku, haven’t we?”

He smiled back.

“We sure have.”

She faltered again, biting the inside of her bottom lip.

“I think we’re going to do something really great today.”

Finn took a deep breath, thinking of betrayal, cruisers shot out of the sky, murdered children, Kylo Ren’s lightsaber igniting through Rey’s heart.

“I hope so,” he said. 

 

When the cruiser came out of hyperspace Finn felt a sick lurch in his stomach that had nothing to do with spaceflight. Kylo Ren’s shuttle was visible out ahead of them, stark and lethal-looking as they began to descend through Dosuun’s atmosphere. The region they were heading for was largely composed of bare rock that jutted up and down rather unpredictably in sharp crags and gaping crevasses, at the depths of which Finn could see vicious-looking gunmetal grey waters churning. The light from the planet’s sun had an unsettling pink hue to it, like blood diluted in water. Finn leaned forward in his seat, pointing towards what looked like a rocky plateau overlooking a crater lake at the base of a jagged shelf. 

“There,” he said, swallowing against the bile in the back of his throat.

As if in confirmation, Kylo Ren’s voice suddenly came through on their comms, making Finn grit his teeth.

_“Begin landing descent. I’ve received word that all First Order staff within the Academy have either been neutralized or contained. I don’t expect us to meet any armed resistance, but combat fighters should remain outside to guard the ships during the evacuation.”_

_Neutralized. Contained._ Finn translated the words automatically in his head. _Killed. Captured._

The mercenaries were the first to exit the cruisers when they landed at the edge of the crater, eyes trained along their blasters as they fanned out, scanning the cliffs as everyone else came out after them. Finn could practically feel the Resistance fighters recoil in terror as Kylo Ren emerged from his shuttle. It was clear from their faces that most of them had never seen him unmasked, and none of them had ever been so close to him. At his appearance six masked and black-clad figures seemed to materialize from the stark shadows of the building and came to join him.

“Who are they?” Rose whispered, eyes wide.

“The Knights of Ren,” Finn said, feeling spooked in spite of himself. He couldn’t think of a single Stormtrooper who’d ever seen any of them in person. He saw Rey touch the lightsaber at her belt before going to join them, and the ease with which she stood next to the Supreme Leader of the First Order was disturbing in a way that Finn had not been prepared for.

The Knights spoke with Kylo Ren and Rey for a minute or so before directives were issued. Fritz and the mercenaries took up their posts guarding the ships, while the Resistance members assembled outside the Academy. Finn abruptly found himself standing within arm’s reach of Kylo Ren, whose steady voice and intense, focused energy were uncomfortably familiar now.

_She put Ben in my arms and told me I was his big brother._

“The Knights will be evacuating the Intermediary students,” Ren was saying, “I’ll be with the Secondaries, and the rest of you will be handling the Primaries,” he pulled a small black metallic object from his belt and held it out to Finn, his expression unreadable, “You remember where Primary block is?”

Clenching one hand in a fist at his side, a battle of anger and fear in his mind, Finn nodded wordlessly and took the passkey.

“Remember,” Rey said, looking around at them all, and at the sound of her voice Finn could feel a sliver of tension ease away from his comrades, their expressions becoming more open as she drew their attention away from those they still distrusted, “You’re members of the First Order helping to evacuate the children for their own safety.”

“Safety from what?” Finn asked, “What’s the official story?”

“Planetary instability,” Kylo replied easily, “Scans indicated a severe earthquake due to hit around sunset. Once it passes the students will be returned to the Academy as usual.”

It wasn’t the worst story. Finn could remember at least three earthquake evacuations during his time on Dosuun, but the rest of it sounded like outright madness. Even if all of the Resistance members looked convincingly like First Order personnel (which they didn’t), it was inconceivable that the ramshackle Hutt mercenary cruisers would pass for official transport. But if Hux was due to arrive any minute with four squadrons there was no time to worry about things like that. 

The main entrance of the Academy had been made to blend in with the rest of the building and was unseen until it opened. They entered into a seemingly endless hallway that ran the entire length of the building with numerous other hallways branching from it. Polished to a high shine, the stone floor was full of beautiful gray, silver and white striations that bundled together and billowed out like ghost nebulae in deep space. The ceiling was composed entirely of lighting panels and the bare unmarked walls were a uniform pale blue, as fresh and bright as a spring day. The color triggered an automatic, visceral reaction in Finn and he drew a sharp breath.

“Finn?” Rose whispered, looking concerned. “Are you okay?”

“Yah,” he said, nodding and managing a smile, “I’m fine.”

“Alright,” Kylo said, immediately drawing all attention to himself, “This needs to happen as quickly and calmly as possible. Does everyone understand what they’re doing?”

There were nods all around, and Finn firmly averted his eyes from the look on Rey’s face as she watched Kylo depart for Secondary block. The Knights split off down one of the other hallways, and Finn led everyone else in the opposite direction towards Primary block. Including himself and Rey, there were thirteen of them, and once they were out of sight of the Supreme Leader and the Knights Finn felt the mood around them change palpably, as though everyone had been holding their breath. 

“You were a Stormtrooper, right?” one of the men asked him, “Is this really where all of you grew up?”

“Not all of us,” Finn said, reassured by the calm detachment in his own voice, “There are four other academies that I know of.”

“I was afraid to ask,” said another Resistance member, a young Twi’lek woman named Oultan, “What’s the difference between Primary, Intermediary, and Secondary students?”

“Age,” Rose said, looking over her shoulder as she walked, “Secondaries are the oldest-”

“Twelve to sixteen,” Finn said.

“Then Intermediaries-”

“Six to eleven.”

They had reached the door and everyone came to a halt as Finn stopped in front of it. Oultan glanced from the passkey in his hand to his face, her eyes widening.

“And...Primaries?”

Without answering her, Finn took a deep breath and inserted the passkey into the small port next to the door. The first thing to hit them as it slid open was the noise; at least fifty children between the ages of one and five were crying, wandering, playing, or otherwise causing chaos in the single immense room which constituted Primary block. The space was broken up into sections by large squares of soft, brightly colored carpet. Green sections were set up with small tables and chairs for eating, yellow sections had hygiene pods, pink sections were for play, and the lavender sections were for cribs and cots. Six nanny droids stood dull-eyed and motionless in their docking stations along the walls, and some of the children, frightened by the strange arrivals, started gathering around the unresponsive droids, pulling at their stiff arms and crying. Other children were starting to wander towards the door and most of the babies had pulled themselves to their feet in their cribs, wailing more insistently now that they knew someone might answer them.

On either side of him Finn saw his comrades’ faces blanch and fall in horror as they took in the reality of what the First Order had been doing. Even Rey, besotted as she was, looked sick to her stomach, and Rose covered her mouth with her hand, tears in her eyes. _This is why we’re here,_ Finn reminded himself as he turned to face them.

“Alright everybody, this is why our group’s the biggest, we-”

A small hand on his leg made Finn stop and look down. A brown-skinned boy no older than three had come over to them, wearing the same white undershirt, soft beige pants, and blue socks that all the children wore. He stared up at Finn and lifted his arms, his fingers spreading wide, and for a moment Finn couldn’t breathe as the despair he’d been avoiding for so long threatened to overtake him.

_I was never going to come back._

But there was no time for despair right now. Hands trembling, he bent down and scooped the little boy up in his arms before turning back to the others.

“The cabinets along that wall should have blankets, slings, and nutri packs. If we can get some of the older kids to help carry the babies we’ll be able to get all of them in one go.” He swallowed. “No one’s getting left behind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy this chapter is rough and busy and Dramatic, but I dig it and I need to post SOMETHING.  
> 1\. Poe and Ben being half-brothers is one of my favorite current headcanons and I've been looking forward to that scene for a LONG time.  
> 2\. Even though I think Stormpilot is a _fantastic_ ship I honestly hadn't planned on it being in this story, but, well... ;)  
> 3\. I wrote the meat of this chapter back in November (originally from Rey's perspective, actually) and the most satisfying part of revising it today was working through Finn's POV and, in the process, kind of discovering the entire crux of his character?!  
> 4\. Can you tell I'm working through some feelings about family separation and child detention facilities at the US/Mexico border? #CloseTheCamps


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The evacuation of the Dosuun Academy comes with its fair share of surprises, and the Resistance says farewell to an ally.

_Dosuun_

 

Bringing themselves back to the task at hand, Rey and the Resistance fighters began bending over the children, speaking gently, and even the most battle-hardened among them managed reassuring smiles. Rose went to the cabinets and began dispensing slings, and within minutes every member of their group had at least two children strapped to their bodies, some plied with nutri packs while others struggled to break free, wailing inconsolably. Rey, Rose and Oultan had the most success persuading the older children to help with the younger, and sooner than Finn would have thought possible every child in the Primary block was accounted for and his team was ready to move them out. 

Since Finn and Rose were the only ones who actually looked like First Order officers in their uniforms, they led the unwieldy and rather comical procession back towards the main entrance. Finn had guessed that they would be the last ones out of the building and he was right. The central hallway was empty and he imagined the door being locked when they reached it, the ceiling panels turning red and then going dark as they realized they were sealed inside. But the door had been left open and they emerged into the cold pink light of Dosuun to find the transport cruisers prepped and ready to receive them. Finn could see the Intermediaries already harnessed in and huddled together on one of the ships, but Academy protocol dictated that during an official evacuation the Secondaries were to stand at attention until all other students had been loaded onto their transports. This was why the Supreme Leader of the First Order was currently striding back and forth before three rows of motionless cadets. 

Finn understood immediately why Kylo Ren had put himself in charge of evacuating the Secondaries. These children had spent countless hours learning how to make the most perfect Stormtrooper rows, never imagining that they would get a chance to demonstrate their discipline for the Supreme Leader before they’d even graduated. Finn glanced quickly over his shoulder at the others, trying to silently communicate to them. _Keep it cool. Act like everything’s normal._ Rose in particular pulled the ruse off well, he thought, her head held high in dignified detachment even though there was an infant drooling down the front of her uniform. Kylo Ren exchanged a cool, professional nod with Finn as they proceeded to the cruiser’s ramp. However, as Finn continued on, casually scanning the cadets, he found himself staring directly into the yellow eyes of a boy who looked about fifteen, tall and sandy blonde with a dark pink birthmark over his right eye and cheekbone. The boy’s gaze was sharp, and as soon as Finn looked away, he knew that he’d broken eye contact too quickly. Guiltily. He could practically feel the boy scrutinizing the rest of the group as they passed; Rey’s lightsaber in plain sight on her belt, the Resistance fighters in their utilitarian work clothes from half a dozen worlds, Oultan with her swaying lekku, the heavily armed mercenaries still in formation around them. _Any minute now,_ he thought, his heartbeat hammering in his ears. The sooner they got the children strapped in and off this planet the better.

As Finn’s group entered the cruiser it seemed to occur to all of them simultaneously just how ill-equipped the vessel was for this mission, and for a moment they just stared at each other incredulously. Several of the children were either crying again or had never stopped, writhing in their slings or pulling desperately against the hands holding onto their wrists, their voices amplified to a piercing degree in the enclosed space. Outside Kylo Ren ordered the Secondaries to split into two groups and fall in line for boarding. Rey looked directly at Finn, eyes wide, and swore under her breath.

“Leave the seats and harnesses for the Secondaries,” Finn said, thinking quickly, “Each of them can hold a younger child on their lap and we’ll keep as many as we can in the slings while we hold on to these,” he indicated the bars above them. Even though their trepidation was still obvious, the others nodded at him, and Finn winked at Rey.

“If any of them shake loose you’ll catch them with the Force, right?”

She smiled back at him, gently patting the back of the baby who was currently mouthing a fistful of her hair, but before either of them could say anything else the Secondary students were marching up the ramp of their cruiser and obediently strapping themselves into the flight seats, although several eyed the interior of the ship dubiously.

“Attention, cadets,” Finn said suddenly, his voice commanding, and every single one of the Secondaries immediately stopped what they were doing to listen, their heads turning to him in perfect unison. He stepped forward with as much authority as he could muster given that he still had babies strapped to his back and front, and was still carrying the little boy who had first approached him. “It is of critical importance to learn how to make an orderly and efficient evacuation under any circumstances. You may not always have a ship that you are used to. Every emergency situation is different and you may be called upon to do things which you were not trained for.” He paused for dramatic effect. “Today these are the circumstances. Each of you will be responsible for holding a Primary student on your lap while we are on this ship to make sure that everyone is adequately secured.” 

Following a cue from Rey, the Resistance members began to hand off their charges to the Secondaries. When Finn tried to relinquish the little boy in his arms, however, the child clutched onto him, his eyes widening in terror, so Finn instructed the Secondary, a girl of about thirteen, to remove the crying baby from the sling on his back instead. The only cadet who had not yet strapped in or taken charge of a Primary was the teenager Finn had made eye contact with outside. He braced himself and approached the boy.

“Do you understand the orders you have been given, cadet?”

The boy balked a little as he stared back at Finn, an instinctive flinch in the face of authority, but he stood his ground.

“This isn’t a real evacuation,” he said suddenly, “None of this is right.” He took a step back from Finn and looked around at the other students, his voice rising as he spoke. “ _Look_ at them, look at this ship! We’ve never had a _special circumstance_ evacuation before, this is-”

“Is there a problem here?”

All of them jumped and turned as Kylo Ren’s large frame appeared at the top of the ramp, rendered even darker against the daylight behind him, the unsparked hilt of his lightsaber in his hand. Finn was mildly impressed that the Secondary didn’t immediately wet himself and take a seat. Instead the boy took a deep breath and continued, his voice barely quavering as he stared directly into the Supreme Leader’s eyes.

“This is a terrorist plot. They are not members of the First Order.”

While Kylo Ren did not visibly react to this statement, the air inside the cruiser had become thick and electric with fear. Behind him on the ramp a handful of mercenaries, led by Fritz and Suliz, were waiting to come aboard with their weapons at the ready, exchanging wary glances with each other.

“Be careful cadet,” Kylo said, his voice calm but firm, “Treason is not tolerated within the First Order. Follow your commander’s orders,” he indicated Finn with a small tilt of his head, “And prepare for take off.”

“You are not the true Supreme Leader!” the boy shot back, “You are a _traitor!_ ”

Before any of them could react Kylo Ren’s lightsaber came to life, violent and crackling as he stepped forward, towering over the boy, his eyes burning with an inhuman darkness.

“ _Sit down, kid._ ”

The boy’s entire body quaked and he sat down. Kylo Ren remained standing over him, utterly motionless except for the blade of his lightsaber, which pulsed and strained against its hilt like a half-tamed beast, desperate to kill. The boy strapped himself in and was soon holding a toddler on his lap, his face and neck flushing in humiliated anger as he stared fixedly at the floor. Kylo turned off his lightsaber and followed Fritz and Suliz to the cockpit as the ramp came up to seal them inside the cruiser. Impossibly crowded as the hold was, the Resistance fighters still pulled back to give Kylo Ren room, averting their eyes. 

“What about your shuttle?” Finn heard Rey murmur as he passed her.

“One of the Knights is taking it,” Kylo replied, his voice barely audible over the noise of the children, “Diversion route. Just in case.”

Unable to stop himself, Finn turned his head in time to catch the lingering look they gave each other before Kylo reluctantly turned away and continued on to the cockpit. Rey watched him go, an unguarded expression of pride and tenderness on her face which provoked an odd sensation in Finn’s chest, like sinking and stretching simultaneously. The ship rumbled to life around them and Finn looked away, thinking of Poe again as the baby strapped to his chest began to cry at the noise.

 _I saw what he did to his family and to everyone who ever cared about him._

Poe had been Finn’s first and strongest ally against the First Order, matching his anger and determination every step of the way. Knowing now, that Poe was Kylo Ren’s brother…

As much as Finn tried to tell himself that it didn’t change anything, it did. It changed everything. Kylo Ren had been a child named Ben Solo and Poe, Finn realized now, had loved him. Poe had been hurt by him _because_ he loved him. 

_Do we really want our enemies to be our enemies forever?_

The anxiety and tension within the cargo hold had not dissipated in the slightest; if anything it was increasing with every minute, accelerated by the crying and fussing children. The Secondary students remained in their seats, dutifully hanging onto their Primaries, but Finn couldn’t stop thinking about how quickly and catastrophically the whole situation could implode. He and the Resistance and the mercenaries were crowded so close together that they almost didn’t need to hang onto the grid of iron bars, but every jostle and lurch had them worriedly checking the children they carried. The nutri packs they had brought from Primary block had been depleted and from the expressions on his comrades' faces he knew that they were all feeling the strain. Afraid that all strength was about to leave his right arm, Finn managed to transfer the little boy to his left, which was a painstaking endeavor given that the child stiffened immediately and clutched at his uniform in mute panic throughout. Once settled he laid the side of his head on Finn’s shoulder, contemplating the baby Finn carried with a detached look in his long-lashed brown eyes.

No one had told them where they were taking the children; Rey didn’t even know the name of the planet. _Somewhere hidden and safe_ was the most she had been able to offer when they’d landed on Dosuun. From a security standpoint it made sense, but Finn could see the question traveling from person to person in the glances they exchanged as the cruiser came out of hyperspace. Windowless as the cargo hold was, they could only guess at their surroundings as the cruiser began its descent, none of them daring to voice their thoughts in front of the watchful Secondaries. After what felt like an interminable amount of time, the cruiser finally landed and Kylo Ren emerged from the cockpit, his appearance as startling as it had been in the field on Jelucan. 

“I’ve been informed that the planetary instability on Dosuun is currently much worse than initially predicted,” he announced, “We don’t know when it will be safe for you to return to the Academy, but you will be well-provided for here until then.”

An olive-skinned teenage girl with tightly braided auburn hair raised her hand, trembling slightly. Kylo Ren nodded to her.

“Yes, cadet?”

“Forgive me, Supreme Leader,” she said, “May I ask where we are?”

Kylo Ren hesitated, all eyes on him, and Finn was unsettled by the steady calm with which he addressed the girl.

“You may, but that information is confidential at this time,” he paused, looking around at the other students, “Just know that your safety and well-being are vitally important to the First Order.”

Against all odds, his words seemed to reassure most of the Secondaries, and they readied themselves to disembark with the same well-trained efficiency they’d demonstrated on Dosuun, tending to their Primaries without being asked and waiting patiently for the ramp to lower. When it finally did gasps were heard all around as fresh, cool, salty air rushed into the fetid cargo hold. 

Emerging into the daylight they found themselves at the edge of a grassy cliff overlooking an endless glittering ocean, the rush and pull of the waves punctuated by the calls of seabirds. Looking around Finn saw that they were in fact on an island dominated by green terraced ridges. Set back from the cliff were a dozen or so structures, some with two floors, made of stone and clay and surrounded by vegetable and flower gardens. In the distance Finn thought he could see another settlement just as large. An assortment of aliens and humans all wearing simple rough-spun clothing had assembled to welcome the cruisers and Kylo Ren went forward to speak to them. 

Finn felt oddly reassured by the nervous expressions on some of their faces as they watched the Intermediary students filing out of the second cruiser, flanked by the Knights of Ren and the rest of the mercenaries. The dominant reaction, however, was one of joy. Once Kylo Ren had finished speaking to them they came forward eagerly with open smiles as they welcomed the children and began introducing themselves. Once Kylo Ren and the Knights had begun shepherding the older students towards the buildings, the villagers collecting the Primaries began thanking Finn and the others, their words tumbling out.

“Thank you-”

“We can’t tell you what this means-”

“We’ve been hoping for so long-”

They called the island Sanctuary, and had made it their mission to rescue and rehabilitate children who were kidnapped by the First Order so that they could be reunited with their families. The alien woman who lifted the baby out of the sling on Rey’s chest was fighting back tears, and for the first time Finn felt like a real hero.

“For years they’ve been smuggled to us one or two at a time-”

“We never _dreamed-_ ”

“ _Thank you._ ”

An inarticulate outburst suddenly cut through the celebratory mood and everyone turned to watch as the boy who’d challenged Kylo Ren suddenly broke away from the cluster of Secondaries, shouting down the villagers who were clearly trying to calm him as he backed away.

“Oh dear,” murmured the woman who had taken the baby Rose carried.

“Will you be able to manage all of them?” Rey asked, looking doubtful.

“Many of us have studied the psychology of conditioning, and some are First Order defectors who experienced it firsthand, but if all else fails we keep a supply of sedatives on hand,” the woman smiled sadly at them, “It’s always hardest with the older ones.”

Kylo Ren was approaching the boy again and Fritz, who had been silently watching the proceedings from the shadow of the cruiser, shouldered his cannon with a stone face and walked over to them. Whatever he said was too low for Finn to hear, but the boy stopped shouting, his shoulders falling again in defeat before he dropped down onto the grass and put his face in his hands. Fritz crouched next to him for a moment before straightening to address Ren, who nodded wordlessly before turning back to the other students. 

One of the villagers had produced a basket of small sweet cakes and the little boy was finally coaxed out of Finn’s arms, turning back once to look at him as he was led away, his mouth full. Finn did his best to smile. Finally relieved of their burdens, the Resistance fighters stood by the cruiser looking somewhat dazed, smiling at each other in relief and pride. Fritz came back to them and the other mercenaries convened around him expectantly. He looked more subdued than Finn had ever seen him and seemed to be gathering his thoughts before he reached out and put a heavy hand on Suliz’s shoulder.

“You’re in charge now, alright?”

She blinked at him, uncomprehending, and shook her head.

“What do you mean?”

Fritz cleared his throat and looked around at his crew, all of whom looked just as confused as Suliz.

“I’m staying here on Sanctuary.”

“Why?” One of the younger men asked, a note of betrayal in his voice.

Fritz sniffed and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, hands folded over his cannon, not looking at any of them.

“My boy.”

He jerked his head back to where the disconsolate Secondary student still sat by himself in the grass.

“He doesn’t remember me, but-”

Finn took a deep breath and swallowed, unable to look away even as he told himself he should.

“It’s alright boss,” Suliz said, clapping him on the shoulder with a bracing smile, “You were getting too old for the gig anyway.”

He grinned at her, his yellow eyes crinkling wetly, and there was a smattering of good-natured laughter from the others as they took turns stepping forward to shake his hand. Rey approached him hesitantly and looked startled when he pulled her into a rough one-armed hug. "Always wanted to meet a Jedi," he said with a wink as he let her go.

No one opted to stand in the cargo hold of the cruiser for the trip back to Jelucan. After the seats were claimed everyone else simply sat down on the filthy floor of the ship, exhausted and grateful. In Fritz’s absence Suliz was piloting the other cruiser and Rey theirs, with Kylo Ren as copilot and Finn sitting behind them. Compared to their other journeys that day the flight back to Jelucan seemed to last the span of a breath. Rey and Kylo (Finn experimented with calling the other man _Ben_ in his head and recoiled immediately) were largely preoccupied with their respective commlinks, Kylo coordinating with his Knights on the other cruiser and Rey hailing the Resistance on Jelucan. It felt as though Finn had barely allowed his eyes to drift closed before the ship came out of hyperspace and the sound of Rey’s voice brought him to attention once more.

“Their comms must be down,” she said as they began to descend through the planet’s atmosphere, “I’m not even picking up a signal.”

“Has that happened before?” Ren asked.

“Sometimes, when we have bad weather, but the scanner’s not showing any storms.”

Off to their right Finn could see the other cruiser making its way through the clouds, which were just now starting to turn gold as another long Jelucani afternoon edged into evening, and Suliz confirmed that they weren’t getting a signal either. Rey clicked some switches and waited intently, her eyes scanning the ship’s display screens.

“I don’t-” she faltered, “the cruiser’s not finding _any_ signals.”

Kylo Ren was watching her silently, his dark brows furrowed, and Finn’s heart began to pound as he stared out at the emerging mountaintops. It occurred to him, absurdly, that he hadn’t eaten anything since Rey and Leia left for their cease-fire summit that morning. The comms were still crackling with static as the cruisers glided around the last mountainous ridge, and the first thing Finn saw was a column of black smoke filling the valley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Finn! I love Ben! (It was an absolute _requirement_ that he call someone "kid" in this fic) I love Fritz! I love the people of Sanctuary! The next chapter might take me awhile cuz I have almost none of it written, but hopefully it will be awesome!
> 
> *Also, I feel I should add that there won't be any more smut in this fic, so if that's what you were here for...just fyi

**Author's Note:**

> The fic that could not be contained. Since this has been a massive distraction from my Scorbus series, I've intentionally tried to keep it loose and fast-moving, so it's not going to be the most polished thing I've ever written and I make no claims of canon accuracy. The story includes a lot of my hopes and predictions for Episode IX, but it's mostly just my shameless Reylo fever dream :D Enjoy!


End file.
